The Future of Parenting

1. The Future of Parenting

2. Psalm 127:3-5 Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. 4 Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. 5 How joyful is the man whose quiver is full of them!

3. Ps. 78:5-7 He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children, 6 so the next generation might know them— even the children not yet born— and they in turn will teach their own children. 7 So each generation should set its hope anew on God, not forgetting his glorious miracles and obeying his commands.

4. Eph. 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

5. What is the parent’s job? To love their children and invest in them spiritually as a disciple. To invest in their marriage to provide an example and a stable life for their kids.

6. How does time spent in daycare affect a child’s development? 1990 Dr. Jay Belsky “Care initiated on a full or near-full-time basis in the first year of life carried developmental risks.” (Belsky,1986, 1988, 1990)

7. “Daycare Wars” vs. Belsky “To many of his fellow sociologists, he stood convicted as an adversary of working mothers.”  “Belsky is a doom-sayer who is dismissive of positive findings,” His comments about reducing time in day care were “a 1950s-style attack” on women.” Brian Robertson. Daycare Deception.

8. How does time spent in daycare affect a child’s development? Dr. Jay Belsky Quality, Quantity and Type of Child Care: Effects on Child Development in the USA

9. The Study 2008 1364 Children Entered at age 1 mo. From 10 sites. They were age 15 at publication They studied their families, social situation, etc. so they could control for various factors.

10. Data was carefully analyzed “…a host of statistical controls have been incorporated, including for differences between families in socioeconomic status, maternal psychological well being, and even the quality of parenting provided by the mother.” Attentive to differences in quality of care.

11. Findings

12. Findings Quality: Their study “highlights the beneficial effects of more attentive, responsive and stimulating care, at virtually whatever age measured and, conversely, the developmental costs of poorer quality care.”

13. Findings Type of Care: Center vs. Home

14. “The more time children spent in centers from 3–54 months of age,…the more cognitively and linguistically advanced they were through 3rd grade on some measure and the more they manifest aggressive and disobedient behavior through 6th grade.” Findings Type of Care: Center vs. Home

15. Findings Quantity: “The NICHD SECC finds quantity of time spent in child care to be systematically related to indices of the parent-child relationship and socioemotional adjustment.”

16. When mothers evinced low levels of sensitivity in interacting with their infants (at 6 and 15 months) and averaged more than just 10 hours per week of care during the period 3–15 months (i.e., even less than 20 hours), infants were more likely to develop insecure attachments to their mothers than would otherwise have been expected (NICHD ECCRN, 1997). Findings Quantity: “the NICHD SECC finds quantity of time spent in child care to be systematic-ally related to indices of the parent-child relationship and socioemotional adjustment.”

17. “more time in care across the period 6–36 months predicted less harmonious behaviour.” [between mom and child] Findings Quantity: “the NICHD SECC finds quantity of time spent in child care to be systematic-ally related to indices of the parent-child relationship and socioemotional adjustment.”

18. “more time in care across the period 6–36 months predicted less harmonious behaviur.” [between mom and child] “more time spent in nonmaternal care also proved predictive of (somewhat) elevated levels of problem behavior involving aggression and disobedience” Findings Quantity: “the NICHD SECC finds quantity of time spent in child care to be systematic-ally related to indices of the parent-child relationship and socioemotional adjustment.”

19. “more time in care across the period 6–36 months predicted less harmonious behavior.” [between mom and child] “more time spent in nonmaternal care also proved predictive of (somewhat) elevated levels of problem behavior involving aggression and disobedience.” “Rather, more time in nonmaternal care across the first 4.5 years of life predicted higher levels of assertiveness, disobedience/defiance,and aggression (NICHD ECCRN, 2003b).” Findings Quantity: “the NICHD SECC finds quantity of time spent in child care to be systematic-ally related to indices of the parent-child relationship and socioemotional adjustment.”

20. “Worth noting, too, is that all the results just summarized held across the sample, as factors like family economic status, marital status, and maternal education did not moderate the effect of quantity of child care through kindergarten age on caregiver-reported behavior problems. Neither, as could be inferred from the preceding discussion, did quality of care moderate this effect.” Findings Quantity: “the NICHD SECC finds quantity of time spent in child care to be systematic-ally related to indices of the parent-child relationship and socioemotional adjustment.”

21. “Even though there remains healthy debate about the size and meaningfulness of virtually all child care effects, it must be remembered that more and more children seem to be spending more and more time at younger and younger ages in non-maternal care arrangements in the English-speaking, if not Western, world. This means that even small effects, when experienced by many children, may have broad-scale consequences (Belsky, 2001; NICHD ECCRN, 2006).” Findings Quantity: “the NICHD SECC finds quantity of time spent in child care to be systematic-ally related to indices of the parent-child relationship and socioemotional adjustment.”

22. Other major studies corroboratethis data: England 3,000 children Northern Ireland- 800 children

23. Recommendations from paper: “[Develop] strategies for reducing the time children spend in non-maternal care across the infant, toddler, and preschool years (e.g.,part-time employment), particularly center-based care.”

24. My recommendations: Children are a gift and a stewardship from God. Plan in advance and do what you can so you, as parents, raise your children. The church should assist single-parent and poor families. Don’t be distracted parents.

26. The Future of Parenting at Xenos Servant Team MeetingSept 2012

28. Before getting married Because her mom stayed home and because my mom didn’t Bought a house based on one income Why We Did What We Did

29. Before having kids Watching women try to do it Reading up on simple living Why We Did What We Did

30. Before having kids Watching women try to do it Reading up on simple living Full year in day care in Ohio = $7889 (NACCRRA, 2012 report) Full year at Columbus State = $2942.88 Why We Did What We Did

31. Since having kids Studies on daycare Parents are in a unique role • Affection and discipline Prov. 19:18 – Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives. Why We Did What We Did

32. Since having kids Studies on daycare Parents are in a unique role • Affection and discipline • Modeling and values • Consistent presence in their lives • Accountability before God Why We Did What We Did

33. “Why prefer mom over dad?” See studies on this topic Questions and Objections

34. “Why prefer mom over dad?” See studies on this topic Dr. Burton White (for ages 8-18 months) APA Monitor, American Psychological Association, Washington DC 7:4 (1976) The single most important factor in the life of the child is his or her mother. She exercises more influence on her child’s experiences than any other person or circumstance. Questions and Objections

35. “Why prefer mom over dad?” See studies on this topic Argument from design Hard to find relevant Scripture • Prov 31 • 1 Tim 5:8, 14 Questions and Objections

36. “Why prefer mom over dad?” See studies on this topic Argument from design Hard to find relevant Scripture • Prov 31 • 1 Tim 5:8, 14 1 Tim 5:8 – But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Questions and Objections

37. “Why prefer mom over dad?” See studies on this topic Argument from design Hard to find relevant Scripture • Prov 31 • 1 Tim 5:8, 14 • Titus 2:4-5 1 Tim 5:14 – So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes… Questions and Objections

38. “Why prefer mom over dad?” See studies on this topic Argument from design Hard to find relevant Scripture • Prov 31 • 1 Tim 5:8, 14 • Titus 2:4-5 Titus 2:4-5 – [T]hey may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind… Questions and Objections

39. “What about single moms?” The families most likely to use center-based day care are those earning over $75,000 a year.—Day Care Deception, p. 122 Questions and Objections

40. “But you work for Xenos!” Questions and Objections

41. “I’d go crazy if I was home with my kids all day” Questions and Objections

42. “We can’t afford to” Working carries additional costs Questions and Objections

43. “We can’t afford to” Working carries additional costs The median after-tax income of married mothers who work is less than $20,000; with the costs of commuting, meals, clothing and other work-related expenses, that second job nets just over $10,000.”—Day Care Deception, p. 122 Questions and Objections

44. “We can’t afford to” Working carries additional costs Other costs too Many people feel like they have no choice Questions and Objections

45. “We can’t afford to” Working carries additional costs Other costs too Many people feel like they have no choice Dr. Burton White (The Forgotten Side of Daycare for Under 3’s, p. 15) The people who create substitute care facilities are not doing it primarily because they’re looking for better ways of raising babies. Questions and Objections

46. “We can’t afford to” Working carries additional costs Other costs too Many people feel like they have no choice Dr. Burton White (The Forgotten Side of Daycare for Under 3’s, p. 15) They’re doing it for legitimate needs or perceived needs of adults. This is not an institution that’s been designed because parents can’t raise babies well enough, in most cases. Questions and Objections

47. “We can’t afford to” Working carries additional costs Other costs too Many people feel like they have no choice • The decision to go down to one income happens long before you have kids • Major purchases, recurring expenses • Dad’s career • Save money while you are DINKs • Other ways to bring in more income Questions and Objections

48. Raising Our Own Kids • Increased Availability for Ministry • Simple Living Conclusion

49. Parenting in Xenos

50. Parenting in Xenos My experience