Sexual Compulsivity 101

1. Sexual Compulsivity 101 Presented by Maureen Canning, LMFT

2. Sex Addiction Definition “A pathological relationship with a mood altering experience.”

3. Criteria for Sexual Compulsive Disorder • Loss of Control • Compulsive Behavior • Efforts to Stop • Loss of Time • Inability to Fulfill Obligations • Continuation of Behavior Despite Negative Consequences • Escalation • Losses • Withdrawal

4. Etiology Of Sexual Addiction • Neurochemistry • Family: Dysfunction and Shame • Trauma Templates • Anxiety And Stress Reduction • Bonding/Attachment Disorder

5. Cross Addiction

6. Cross AddictionsPatrick Carnes • Chemical Dependency: 42% • Eating Disorder: 38% • Compulsive Working: 28% • Compulsive Spending: 26% • Compulsive Gambling: 5%

7. Interactive Behaviors • Cross Tolerance: Seen two ways: First both addictions get worse at the same time. Or, one addiction will replace another with little time between them. • Withdrawal: One addiction is used to blunt the withdrawal from the other.

8. Addiction Interaction cont. • Alternating Addiction Cycles: Use of addictions alternated over time in a distinct pattern. • Masking: Use of one addiction to cover up another.

9. Interaction cont. • Numbing: This occurs when one addiction is used to calm or relax from another addictive behavior. • Disinhibiting: Using one addiction to disinhibit oneself to do another form of addiction.

10. Sexual Anger

11. Sexualized Anger ETIOLGY OF SEXUALIZED ANGER Born precious and valuable SHAME CORE I am worthless I am unlovable Abandonment Abuse • Results in Feeling • One down • Disempowered • Fear • Vulnerable

12. Sexualized Anger ETIOLGY OF SEXUALIZED ANGER Born precious and valuable SHAME CORE I am worthless I am unlovable Abandonment Abuse • Results in Feeling • One down • Disempowered • Fear • Vulnerable

13. Sexualized Anger ETIOLOGY OF SEXUALIZED ANGER Born precious and valuable SHAME CORE I am worthless I am unlovable Abandonment Anger Abuse • Results in • Feeling in control • Nero Chemical release • Temporary relief • Return to shame

14. Sexual Anger The payoff/goal of the behavior is mastery, control or power.

15. Sexual Anger • Overt or Covert • Sexual Violence (emotionally and or physically) • Withholding • Humiliation of Self or Other • Retaliation • Vengeance

16. Sexual Anger • Based in scenarios, stories, behaviors and beliefs that originated from traumatic wounding • Neurochemical release

18. Post Secrets From Frank Warren

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27. The Types of Sexual Addicts;The Socially Forgivable Behaviors

28. Fantasy Sex Sexually charged fantasies, relationships and situations.

29. Seductive Role Sex Seduction Of Partners Men: Caretakers Women: Flirty/Needy

30. Paying for Sex Prostitutes Street prostitutes (Hookers) Escorts Massage parlors International prostitution Internet sites

31. Acting Out; The Less Understood And Socially Unforgivable Behaviors

32. Exhibitionistic Sex Attracting attention to body or sexual parts of body.

33. Anonymous Sex High risk sex with unknown partners.

34. Exploitive Sex Exploitation of the vulnerable.

35. Voyeuristic Sex Visual Arousal (Passive/aggressive behavior)

36. Sadomasochism Pain Exchange Reenactment of intensity, danger and shame

37. Cross Dressing Wearing clothing of the opposite gender.

38. Fetishism Obsession with object or body part.

39. Bestiality An attraction or interaction with animals for sexual arousal.

40. SEXUAL DEPRIVATION AND SEXUAL COMPULSIVITY COMPARED BELIEF SYSTEM BELIEF SYSTEM IMPAIRED THINKING IMPAIRED THINKING UNMANAGEABILITY UNMANAGEABILITY ANOREXIA CYCLE ADDICTION CYCLE PREOCCUPATION PREOCCUPATION DISTANCE STRATEGIES DESPAIR RITUALIZATION DESPAIR SEXUAL AVERSION SEXUAL COMPULSIVITY DEPRIVATION I COMPULSIVITY

41. Sexual Addiction Compulsive Behaviors Loss of Control Efforts to Stop Loss of Time Preoccupation Effects Obligations Continuation Despite Consequences Escalation Social, Occupational, Recreational Losses Restlessness Distress, Anxiety, Irritability and Despair Sexual Aversion Compulsive Behaviors Excessive Control Efforts to Avoid Ridged, Judgmental Attitudes Preoccupation Effects Obligations Extreme Shame Avoidance of Intimacy and Relationships Distress, Anxiety, Irritability and Despair Criteria for Sexual Aversion vs. Sexual Addiction

42. Nature of AversionDiagnostic Criteria for 302.79-Sexual Aversion Disorder • Persistent or recurrent extreme aversion to, and avoidance of, all (or almost all) genital sexual contact with a sexual partner. • The disturbance causes marked distress or difficulty.

43. The Promises of Recovery When I was a young girl, I certainly did not aspire to be a sex addict. I had dreams of love, freedom and happiness. A lot of my acting out was the misguided pursuit of those dreams, which, unfortunately, were pushed further away from me because of my disease.

44. Promises of Recovery When I become willing to accept the painful truth about myself and my actions , God set me free, and my dreams have been given back to me ….with so much more. Sex Addicts Anonymous