Pornography

1. Pornography “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without … being burned?” (Proverbs 6:27)

2. What is Pornography? • Literally: “writing about prostitutes” • Over time developed with technology: • Drawing about prostitutes • Photographs of prostitutes • Film of prostitutes, etc. • Common element: “depictions of prostitutes.” Pornography is prostitution. • Delivery system: books, magazines, internet, etc.

3. What is a Prostitute? • Someone lacking self-respect • Someone willing to barter self-respect for money • Someone willing to trade in perversion regardless of the damage caused • A twisting of sex, God’s good gift in marriage, into a barterable perversion outside of marriage

4. Effects of Pornography: • Addicting > doesn’t stop until you stop it. • Escalating > likely to get worse over time. • Eventually values all women as potential prostitutes. • Creates false expectations of marriage: your spouse isn’t a prostitute. • Invites these false expectations to be fulfilled in continued use of pornography, followed by affairs, and the destruction of marriage.

5. Effects of Pornography on your Spouse: • Your spouse can’t and shouldn’t be expected to compete with airbrushed unreality. • Your spouse wants you to think about and love her; not a “composite” of the traits of many women that exists only in imagination. • Your spouse isn’t a prostitute and doesn’t want to compete with prostitutes. • Can become victim of an affair resulting from preoccupation with pornography.

6. Forms and Levels of Pornography: Progression: • Advertisements: billboards, magazine ads “sex sells” • Mainstream movies: so-called “soft” core scenes deemed a virtual marketing necessity in many movies – different only in that it avoids genitals • Hardcore Regardless of where it is in this progression, all of what objectifies women or exists to stimulate sexual appetite is pornography.

7. Cost to the Pornography Addict: • Guilt • Bondage / addiction • Spiritual life becomes a façade • All the traits and costs of alcoholism • Unrealistic expectations on marriage > ruined marriage / divorce • Public embarrassment (Proverbs 5:14) • Hell (Proverbs 7:22-27)

8. Steps to Overcoming • Re-read as often as necessary: Proverbs 5:1-23; 6:20 - 7:27. • Take notes on categories that occur: e.g. causes, effects, roots, e.g. 5:12: “How I hated discipline.” • Make the decision: “I will avoid pornography like the plague” – (because it will kill you just as certainly as the plague). • Face, don’t avoid, the fear of the Lord.

9. Other Steps… • Don’t go by the magazine rack (unless you are buying a specific magazine), use your computer only in public. • When you notice an attractive woman, don’t linger, return to what had your attention; “I have made a covenant with my eyes….” (Job 31:1) • When confronted unexpectedly, turn the page, turn off the movie, close or avert your eyes…whatever it takes (Matt. 5:29) • Get an accountability partner, join S.A.

10. Internet: • Don’t look, click a link or “unsubscribe” • Delete, get spam control, change email addresses if needed. • If necessary, use computer only when others are in the room or keep your back to an open door. • Empty your “deleted items” or spam box to avoid the temptation to go back to sex spam • Limit internet use to necessities. • Ask someone you trust for accountability.

11. Reflection… • Why is pornography such an insidious problem in our society? • How can we help someone struggling with the problem? • How does your relationship with Christ help you towards pure relationships with others? • How would you like prayer support?