A Sketch of the Battlefield

1. A Sketch of the Battlefield Chapter 1 of Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice To All CreationBy Olivia Judson Presented by Amy F, Ashley M, and David S

2. Boys are promiscuous and girls are chaste, right? Wrong. The battle of the sexes erupts because in most species girls are wanton. There are many tactics that species use to insure that they pass on their genes. This chapter makes an overview of those tactics.

3. So Why are Guys so fiercely protective of their Gals? • Very few males will ever get the opportunity to mate. • There is stiff competition amongst those who have what it takes to win the gal. • Those that do mate must make sure that other males cannot out compete them when it comes to producing offspring. Do you think this competition helps them get chicks?

4. So what are some of the tactics males use to ensure their gals don’t go have fun with their pals? Some males will follow their gals around scaring off any potential other mates. Other guys will hang out with or on their gal until it is unlikely for her to go find one of his pals for a good time. The Idaho Ground Squirrel is one guy that follows his gal around to keep his pals away.

5. Twiggy and 10 Hour Sex Twiggy is the writer of the first letter in Dr. Tatiana’s book. She expresses her concern about her vigorous lovers. However, her lover’s vigor is what ensures that he gets to pass on his genes. For if he were less involved, surely Twiggy would be out with another fellow. Twiggy’s Man Twiggy http://www.ento.csiro.au/aicn/images/cain2742.jpg

6. But men are supposed to be the ones who are players! • Bateman’s principle: • “Males are evolved to make love, and females to make babies.” • Females invest more • make few large, expensive eggs • Males invest less • make many cheap sperm

7. So give me some examples of gals that run around! • Females of almost every species run around. In fact, it’s easier to give a list of females that don’t (at least, we haven’t caught them yet). • Black vulture • Dik-dik • California mouse • Jackdaw • Chinstrap penguin • Long-eared owl

8. Instruments of Torture? Many animals are equipped with penises covered with bristles, spines, knobs, and other strange things. www.primates.com Male golden pottos have large spines covering their penises

9. Instruments of Torture? Lions and other felines have penises with barbed tips. www.vetmed.wisc.edu www.vetmed.wisc.edu

10. Instruments of Torture? This damselfly has an inflatable bulb and two horns at the tip of his penis, as well as bristles down the sides. www.bio.vu.nl/thb/users/cor/dragonfly.html This one uses his penis to stimulate females to eject other’s sperm. www.bio.vu.nl/thb/users/cor/dragonfly.html

11. Why the Scary Appendages? • Ultimately, males have evolved adorned apparatuses to ensure that their genes are the ones passed on. • barbs or spines • brushes or balloons • mobile members www.xmag.com/archives/12-06-deco4/featrue1.html

12. Bee’s are explosive lovers, literally. When a male bee reaches climax he explodes leaving his genitals inside the female.

13. Why would a male mate if it meant certain death? • Even though exploding sounds like a bad strategy for passing on genes, it may work to the bee’s advantage. • By exploding the male’s genitals become lodged in the female. This in turn: • Acts as a chastity belt • Prevents other males from matting • Increases the chance that that male will father more offspring http://koning.ecsu.ctstateu.edu/Plants_Human/bees/bees.html

14. A Conflict of Interest Unfortunately for females mating with only one male bee could have its problems. http://members.aol.com/queenb95/genetics.html

15. Is there a solution to being plugged? • Yes, in a counter evolution move the queen bee can remove the plug allowing her to mate again. • Males also have evolved a countermove to remove the obstruction which now leaves them free to mate. www.sfrc.ufl.edu/ Extension/ffws/ecohp.htm

16. So What? • When females stand to benefit from mating with more than one male females will resist any control by the male. • In this arrangement males lose out. The amount of offspring will be a smaller percentage if the males sperm is even used.

17. The Moral of the Story… • Girls are going to run around. • Guys do everything they can to prevent the other guys from winning. • This may mean: • You need to work on your stamina. • You need to be a bodyguard for your gal. • You need to add some “ornamentation” to your member. • You need to make sure she gets hers first. • You need to stop her up like an Egyptian tomb. • You have to die for your cause.

18. Bibliography Information: Judson, Olivia. (2002). Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to all Creation. Metropolitan books, New York. Morris, Desmond. (1990) Animalwatching. Jonathan Cape, London. Images: Aftersix.com. Available http: aftersix.com Musclephotos.com. Available http: www.musclephotos.com/ibc2002/candids/42.jpg Primates.com. Available http: www.primates.com Unitedstatesfauna.com. Available http: www.unitedstatesfauna.com/images/idahogroundsquirrel.jpg www.ento.csiro.au/aicn/images/cain2742.jpg members.aol.com/queenb95/genetics.html koning.ecsu.ctstateu.edu/Plants_Human/bees/bees.html