Guiding Children’s Behavior

1. Guiding Children’s Behavior Chapter 3 Section 2 Human Growth & Development

2. Understanding Guidance • Some think of guiding as disciplining children when they do something wrong • Punishment is part of guidance, put only a small part • Guidance: using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior • Self discipline is the result of effective guidance • Self discipline: ability to control one’s behavior • Effective guidance is linked to a child’s age and emotional & social development • Helps children in their moral development • Conscience: inner sense of what is right • Use to act morally when facing new situations

3. Consistency Consistency is the key to guiding children’s behavior Matter of clearly making rules and applying them in the same way in all situations Helps children know what is expected of them Loss of trust and confidence occur when a caregiver constantly changes rules or fails to enforce them Issue when more than one person cares for the child

4. Guidance • Three ways adults can guide children to behave appropriately • Encourage appropriate behavior • Setting and enforcing limits • Dealing with inappropriate behavior in effective ways

5. Setting a Good Example • Children are great imitators • Learn best by being shown what to do rather than by just being told • The desire to imitate applies to all examples-not just good ones • Children imitate good & bad behavior

6. Telling What is Expected • Children need to be told what is expected of them in ways they can understand • Sometimes a demonstration is enough (especially with small children) • About 3 years old children begin to understand reasoning • Don’t do that, it hurts…

7. Praising Appropriate Behavior • Positive reinforcement: response that encourages a particular behavior • Giving a child attention when his/her actions are appropriate • When a child learns that an action wins attention and approval, they are likely to repeat that action

8. Guidelines to Help Encourage Appropriate Behavior Be specific Notice the behavior as soon as possible Recognize small steps Help the child take pride in his or her actions Tailor the encouragement to the needs of the child

9. Offering Choices Children are allowed to make decisions as they become more mature Choices offered have to reflect acceptable behavior Choices need to be age appropriate for the child

10. Setting Limits Another way to guide children toward appropriate, safe behavior Physical restraints Rule of behavior

11. What Should Limits Be? • Limits should keep children from hurting themselves, other people, or property. • Children will follow limits if they are few and reasonable • Questions to keep in mind when setting limits: • Does the limit allow the child to learn, explore, and grow? • Is the limit fair and appropriate for the child’s age? • Does the limit benefit the child, or is it merely for the adult’s convenience.

12. Making Limits Clear • State limits simply and briefly • Four steps to setting limits: • Show understanding of the child’s desires • Set the limit and explain it • Acknowelege the child’s feelings • Give alternatives

13. Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior • All children misbehave from time to time • Adults must deal the inappropriate behavior appropriately and effectively • Questions to ask when responding to a child’s misbehavior: • Is the expected behavior appropriate given the child’s development? • Does the child understand that the behavior is wrong? • Was the behavior done knowingly and deliberately, or was it beyond the child’s control?

14. Unintentional Misbehavior • Sometimes misbehavior is unintentional • Dropping a glass of milk that is too heavy or breaking something out of reach • Misbehavior is unintentional if the child had no way of knowing it was wrong • Picking flowers

15. Using Punishment Effectively • When children deliberately do something that they know is wrong, some form of punishment may be necessary • Punishment is negative reinforcement • Negative reinforcement: response aimed at discouraging a child from repeating a behavior • Punishment with good judgment can be effective • First time a child breaks a rule, give a warning, not a consequence • Gives them the chance to regain self control

16. Using Punishment Effectively • After a warning has been given and the rule is broken again, a punishment is in order • Useful techniques for dealing with inappropriate behavior • Natural consequences • Loss of privileges • Giving time-out • Time out: short period of time in which a child sits away from other people and the center of activity. The purpose is to give the child a chance to calm down and regain self-control • One minute of time out for each year of a child’s age is a good length of time

17. Poor Disciplinary Measures • Less effective disciplinary methods • Bribing • Making children promise to behave • Shouting or yelling • Shaming or belittling • Threatening to withhold love

18. Handling Conflict • Children may feel angry when they can’t get their way • Caregivers must be prepared to deal with this anger • Avoid making the child feel guilty about his or her anger (it’s normal) • Teach children acceptable ways of handling behavior • Using words • Speaking calmly • Counting to ten