Discipline Makes All of the Difference

1. Discipline Makes All of the Difference Rockbrook Elementary Coffee with the Counselor

2. Discipline Types of Discipline • Authoritarian- unquestioned obedience is required and little to no reteaching or explanation is given. • Permissive- there are few rules and limited discipline. • Open- The goal of discipline is to teach the child self-control. Parents provide discipline that is geared towards explanation and reteaching.

3. Discipline • Which type are you? • What type of discipline style were you raised in? • What did you learn from that experience? • What do you feel your child is learning now?

4. Discipline What results from these discipline styles? • Authoritarian- The child develops obedience through fear, not understanding of the situation or need. This child may become rebellious, dependent on others, or submissive. • Permissive- This type of discipline instills aggression and selfishness. The child may grow up to be lawless and confused. • Open- This child is most likely going to learn to work with others and respect self and others. As an adult, this child is most able to make decisions while thinking of the needs of others, as well as self.

5. Discipline Positive Parenting: Developing your democratic style- What is discipline? • Teaches the child life-long skills for good character, such as responsibility and self-control. • Protects the child • Instills values

6. Discipline Effective Discipline: • Effective discipline uses real world "cause and effect" learning experiences. Effective discipline teaches children how to think for themselves. It doesn't just force them to obey. The world is a different place than 30 years ago. We don't want our children to just blindly obey. • Effective discipline is proactive. Parents find underlying causes of misbehavior as well as teach future desired behavior. • Effective discipline is mutually respectful: Treating the child as you expect to be treated. Although parents have far more experience and knowledge than their children, both parent and child have the same right of having their feelings and dignity equally respected.

7. Discipline • Effective discipline is ninety percent prevention and ten percent correction. • Effective discipline is kind, firm and safe. • Effective discipline is as fair and consistent as possible. • Effective discipline does not involve arguments or power struggles.

8. Discipline “Children don't really misbehave. They act in inappropriate ways to get their needs met. The job of parents is to meet those needs and teach children how to get them met in socially appropriate ways.” The big question is “how?”

9. Discipline • What are some of the effective methods of discipline that you have used to: • Get kids in bed on time • Get kids to do their homework • Get kids to clean their room • others…

10. Discipline • The first step is to set clear expectations for your child. • Share these expectations with your child and be sure the child understands them. • Show your child what you expect. • Follow through with the established consequence and reteaching each time.

11. Discipline • The most common discipline tools used for younger children up to preschool age are redirection, substitution, supervision, offering choices, changing the environment, ensuring enough nourishment, sleep, stimulation and attention. Most discipline at this age is prevention. • The most effective discipline tools used for older, school-aged children and teens are active listening, "I" messages, time in, changing the environment, modeling, related consequences, and problem solving. Family meetings are also especially effective for this age. • Time in= is taking a break to do something positive • I messages= I feel ________ when you __________ • Related consequences= consequences that go directly with the action (if a child throws and breaks something, that child would clean up the mess and fix or replace the broken item.

12. Discipline • A crucial discipline tool often overlooked is meeting the needs of parents. Parents who are hungry, tired, stressed, need support and/or a time-in don't often make the best parenting decisions. • You can't raise a child in a dictatorship and expect them to function as an adult in a democracy. • Many parents don't use punishment in raising caring, responsible children. It takes practice and plenty of patience — something every parent can learn. Your child will appreciate it. • Think about it: How has your method worked for you so far? Trying something new may mean doing discipline less.

13. Discipline References: http://www.nospank.net/arnall.htm http://www.ces.purdue.edu/providerparent/Guidance-Discipline/MakingDiscPositive.htm Thank you for coming