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Guiding Children’s Behavior. HPC 3O May 2 nd , 2013. Understanding Guidance. Punishment is only a small part of guiding children Guidance: using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior. Understanding Guidance.
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Guiding Children’s Behavior HPC 3O May 2nd, 2013
Understanding Guidance • Punishment is only a small part of guiding children • Guidance: using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior
Understanding Guidance • As a result of effective guidance, children achieve self-discipline ability to control their own behavior
Understanding Guidance Why is effective guidance important? • Helps children learn to get along with others • Handle feelings in an acceptable way • Promotes security and a positive feeling about self • Moral development • Developing a conscience - - inner sense of what is right
Consistency • Clearly making rules an applying them in the same way in all situations • Children lose trust in a caregiver who constantly changes rules or fails to enforce them • What should a parent do if more than one person cares for the child?
Guiding Behavior 3 ways to guide children to behave: • Encouraging appropriate behavior • Setting and enforcing limits • Dealing with inappropriate behavior in effective ways
Encouraging Appropriate Behavior 3 ways: • Setting a good example • Telling what is expected • Praising appropriate behavior positive reinforcement
Encouraging Appropriate Behavior • Be specific • Notice the behavior as soon as possible • Recognize small steps • Help the child take pride in his or her actions • Tailor the encouragement to the needs of the child
Setting Limits • Limits include physical restrictions or rules of behavior • Limits should keep children from hurting themselves, other people or property • Should be few and reasonable!
What Should Limits Be? • Does the limit allow the child to learn, explore and grow? • Is the limit fair and appropriate for the child’s age? • Does the limit benefit the child, or is it merely for the adult’s convenience?
Making Limits Clear • Clearly state limits and restate everytime the situation arises • Limits must be clear have a “small snack” is unclear for a 3-year old • Calm, direct tone
Making Limits Clear Setting limits includes four steps: • Show understanding of the child’s desires • Set the limit and explain it • Acknowledge the child’s feelings • Give alternatives
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior A caregiver should ask these questions when responding to a child’s misbehavior: • Is the expected behavior appropriate given the child’s development? • Does the child understand the behavior is wrong? • Was the behavior knowingly and deliberately?
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Unintentional Misbehavior: • Spilling milk or juice for example shouldn’t be punished! • If the child had no way of knowing it was wrong Brittany picking flowers from the park
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Using Punishment Effectively: • Deliberate attempts • Punishment is negative reinforcement response aimed at discouraging a child from repeating a behavior
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Using Punishment Effectively: • 1st time child breaks rule a warning is fine • Rule broken another time punishment given according to severity of misbehavior
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Techniques for dealing with inappropriate behavior: • Natural consequences • Loss of privileges: Take away a privilege. Most effective for ages 5 and older • Giving time-out: Short period of time in which a child sits away from other people and the center of activity
Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Poor Disciplinary Measures: • Bribing • Making children promise to behave: forced to lie about misbehavior rather than disappoint • Shouting or yelling • Shaming or belittling • Threatening to withhold love
Handling Conflict • Anger – a natural emotion. Do not make the child feel guilty about it • Caregivers can help the child learn that there are acceptable ways of handling that anger
Handling Conflict Ways of handling anger: • Using words • Speaking calmly • Counting to ten Discuss the misbehavior and punishment after the child has calmed down. Explain how they misbehaved and what they should have done instead*