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Tamar Speaks

Tamar Speaks. Presented by Stephanie Van Deusen, Ph.D, LPC. Finding Your Anchor: Grounding. THE GOAL OF ANY GROUNDING TECHNIQUE IS TO HELP: • reconnect the person to the present • orient the person to the here and now • connect her to her body and personal control and.

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Tamar Speaks

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  1. Tamar Speaks Presented by Stephanie Van Deusen, Ph.D, LPC

  2. Finding Your Anchor:Grounding • THE GOAL OF ANY GROUNDING TECHNIQUE IS TO HELP: • • reconnect the person to the present• orient the person to the here and now• connect her to her body and personal control and

  3. Sensory awareness grounding skills • Spritz your face (with eyes closed), neck, arms and hands with a fine water mister. • Put your feet firmly on the ground. • Listen to soothing music or familiar music you can sing along to. Dance to it. How does it make your body feel? • Rub your palms; clap your hands. Listen to the sound. Feel the sensation. • Hold something that you find comforting. It may be a stuffed animal, a blanket or a favorite sweater. Notice how it feels in your hands. Is it hard or soft? • Carry something meaningful and tangible in your pocket that reminds you of the present. Touch it to remind yourself that you are an adult.

  4. Cognitive grounding skills • Reorient yourself in place and time by asking yourself some or all of these questions: • Where am I?• What is today?• What is the date?• How old am I?• What season is it?• Who is the country’s political leader?• What is happening now; what is the context?

  5. ABUSE "To dishonor," "to make mock of," "to insult," etc.


  6. SEXUAL ABUSE Amy Grant Ask Me

  7. Judges 19 Devalued Dehumanized Discarded Dismembered Sexual Abuse is an act of violence and dehumanization

  8. Questions Stained Glass Masquerade

  9. Prevalence • Adult retrospective studies show that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men were sexually abused before the age of 18 • This means there are more than 42 million adult survivors of child sexual abuse in the U.S. • The primary reason that the public is not sufficiently aware of child sexual abuse as a problem is: • 73% of child victims do not tell anyone about the abuse for at least a year. • 45% of victims do not tell anyone for at least 5 years. Some never disclose (Smith et al., 2000; Broman-Fulks et al., 2007).

  10. Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under (Snyder, 2000). Youths have higher rates of sexual assault victimization than adults. In 2000, the sexual assault victimization rate for youths 12 to 17 was 2.3 times higher than for adults (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2000). Let the Children Come

  11. Sexual Abuse is about Loss Creating a ritual for loss

  12. The Story of TAMAR • But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful thing! • 2 Samuel 13:12 (NASB) (c) 2011 Stephanie Van Deusen, Ph.D.

  13. (c) 2011 Stephanie Van Deusen, Ph.D.

  14. A Metaphor for the Journey • A labyrinth is a right brain task. It involves intuition, creativity, and imagery. With a labyrinth there is only one choice to be made. The choice is to enter or not. A more passive, receptive mindset is needed. The choice is whether or not to walk a spiritual path. • At its most basic level the labyrinth is a metaphor for the journey to the center of your deepest self and back out into the world with a broadened understanding of who you are.

  15. Understanding the Labryinth of Healng • Safety and Stability • S – Self Care & Symptom Control • A – Acknowledgment • F – Functioning • E – Expression • R – Relationships • Remembrance/Mourning • Reconnection (c) 2011 Stephanie Van Deusen, Ph.D.

  16. Why Must We Tell Our Stories? Experience, Strength, and Hope

  17. Tamar speaks: Your experience • The church’s response to sexual abuse—to your experience of sexual abuse • The experience of sexual abuse and God’s response to your pain, betrayal, and loss • Your response to your sexual trauma and where the church and your relationship with God fit into that • How has the trauma impacted your response to traditional religious language/images of God as parent? What is a healing image of God for you? • How do your experiences with abusive parents, non-protective parents, or parents who were your protectors or advocates impact your image of God? How does this influence your ability to use a relationship with God in a healing way throughout your process of recovery?

  18. Healing Communities • Become a “Secure Base” • Nurture • Protection • Availability • Dependability • Understanding • Reinforce the inner connection with God • Develop a sense of self as deserving • Provide rituals for grieving

  19. Healing Communities • Heal Beliefs • Safety • Trust • Esteem and Respect • Intimacy • Judgment • Identity—”Who am I” “What is my purpose” • Meaning: • Why? Is God punishing me? Is there hope? Am I a reflection of what was done to me?

  20. Clergy could: • Speak out, naming the issue—”There are survivors here in this congregation” • Talk about sexual abuse in their sermons • Be clear about the moral responsibility to contribute to the prevention and understanding of trauma • Address with survivors the complexity and desire to forgive perpetrators and non-protective bystanders • Provide alternative models of authority; one with compassion, respect, boundaries • Help survivors struggle with questions of meaning

  21. We are the church!

  22. Congregations could provide: • A place where people can mourn • Community • Warm connection • Acceptance • Opportunities for meaningful work • Help for people as they reengage with others and the world

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