Purple and Fine Linen

1. Purple and Fine Linen Information complied by Mrs. Karen Bastin

2. Who needs to learn formal dining etiquette?

3. Everyone. Final selections for internships, jobs and other opportunities are often made after a formal dinner setting. Table manners say a lot about you and the way you conduct business.

4. Dining etiquette demonstrates the attention to detail that should be an integral part of anyone who wants to achieve.

5. RSVP French repondez s’il vous plait In English “Please reply” Respond as quickly as you can to an invitation, and mark it on your calendar. Always respond in the manner requested on the invitation.

6. WHAT TO WEAR? If you aren’t sure of what to wear, ask your host or hostess. Formal Tuxedos or Long Gowns Semi-formal Suits or Fancy Dresses Business Casual Slacks or skirts Casual Shorts or jeans

7. The Art of Being A Good Guest  Arrive promptly.  If name tags are not available and someone whose name slips your mind approaches you, simply reintroduce yourself by saying your name and initiating a handshake.  If you’re meeting someone for the first time, introduce yourself using your first and last name.  Mingle with people you don’t know as well as with those you do.

8.  When wearing a name tag, place it on your right side. Those shaking hands with you will be able to glance down at your name tag as you are introducing yourself.  Look the person directly in the eye. This will project an image of self-confidence and a healthy self-esteem, and you will be perceived as a good listener.  Smile. It sends others a message of acceptance.

9.  A gentleman should always assist a lady with her chair. If more than one woman is at the table, he should assist the lady on the right first.  The gentleman should stand behind the chair. The lady should step in front of the chair, and he should gently push in the chair for her.  Anytime a woman, special guest or elder leaves the table, the other table members should stand to acknowledge his /her departure and return.

10. POSTURE Sit up straight at the table. When you are not eating, keep your hands on your lap or resting on the table. Elbows on the table are acceptable only between courses, not while you are eating.

11. Napkin Placement Guests should wait for the host or hostess to place the napkin on their lap. OR you may place the napkin on your lap as soon as everyone has been seated. When placing the napkin, simply open it as you place it on your lap.

12. Make sure to keep your napkin folded in half with the crease toward you. The napkin remains on your lap throughout the entire meal and should be used to gently blot your mouth when needed.

13. When you need to momentarily leave the table, place your napkin on your chair or on the left side of the plate as a signal to your server that you will be returning. If you find it necessary to excuse yourself from the table for a moment, do so only between courses.

14. At the close of the meal, keep your napkin on your lap until everyone at the table has finished eating and drinking. When you are finished eating, your napkin should be placed to the right of your dinner plate. A napkin should never be wadded and left on the table. Do NOT use a napkin as a handkerchief.

15. Toasting The first toast should be initiated by the host or hostess after guests have been served a drink. To gain attention, the toastmaster should use a spoon to tap lightly on a wine or water glass. The toastmaster should pick up the wine glass by the stem and hold it down at his / her waist while the toast is being said.

16. The person initiating the toast should stand at his / her seat when proposing a toast. After saying the toast, the toastmaster should say, “I would like you to stand and honor (whoever you are toasting) by saying, “Hail to -- .” Toasts should be brief.

17. When you are a guest, after the person being honored has been toasted, raise your glass and, looking at the honoree, nod your head in a slight bow before taking the first sip. If you’re the person being toasted, do not raise your glass as the toast is being made. Raise it after the toast has been made with a phrase like, “And to good friends!”

18. WHICH DISHES? Solids to your left; liquids to your right. The dinner table setting may include the smaller bread and butter plate and the slightly larger salad or vegetable plate, both of which are placed to the left of the dinner plate.

19. Utensils Pick up your utensils from the outside in. When you're unsure of which utensil to use, simply begin by using the utensils on the outside and working your way in toward the plate. The spoon or fork above the place setting should be used for dessert. Once you have used a piece of silverware, never place it back on the table.

20. KNIFE Use the knife to cut the food by holding the knife in the right hand and the fork in the left hand with the fork tines piercing the food to secure it on the plate. Cut a few bite-size piece of food, then lay your knife across the top edge of your plate with the sharp edge of the blade facing in. Change your fork from your left to your right hand to eat, fork tines facing up.

21. Community Food Offer community food to others before helping yourself. If the rolls, sugar, sweetener, salt and pepper, cream, etc. are closest to you, before helping yourself, offer the items to the person on your left. Food should be passed counter-clockwise. Your arm should cross your body as you pass the food. Never use the arm closest to the person.

22. Bread When eating a roll or a slice of bread, tear off a bite-sized piece, butter it, lay the knife across the top of your bread plate (always with the serrated edge toward you) and then enjoy. Be sure to swallow the first piece before picking up your knife again.

23. If the butter is in a mold or on a plate, use your butter knife to remove some butter and place it on your bread and butter plate. Then, use your butter knife to butter your roll. It is not considered good manners to cut or break the roll in two, butter half, and then begin munching.

24. BUTTER WRAPPERS If you receive the butter or margarine in a relatively soft state, just leave it in the wrapper as you place it on your roll with your knife. If the pat is hard, remove it from the wrapper with your knife and place it on your plate. Then fold the wrapper in half or in fourths and set on the side of the bred plate or under its rim.

25. SOUP Move the spoon away from you to fill your soup spoon and then back toward your mouth. If your soup is too hot to eat, wait for it to cool down. Never blow on it, stir it, or drop in an ice cube. Do not place crackers in your soup.

26. Enjoy the soup and the crackers, but not simultaneously. Either the cracker or the soup spoon should be in your hand at any given moment. Once you have completed the soup course, place the soup spoon on the right-hand side of the service plate.

27. SALAD Wait for everyone at the table to be served before beginning. Start passing the salad dressing only if you are the person closest to it. The dressing should first be offered to the person to the left. Cut your lettuce with your knife, if you wish. To let the server know you’ve completed the salad course, place your fork on the plate with the handle on the right with the tines down. Place your knife across the top of your bread plate.

28. Pasta / Spaghetti Long spaghetti should be twirled around your fork, not cut up with your knife. Start twirling a small amount of spaghetti either on a fork alone, or on a fork held with the tines against the inside of a spoon. Keep twirling. When the last strand is completely wound, put the whole thing in your mouth.

29. CHICKEN Chicken is never eaten with the fingers in a formal dining situation. In an informal setting, you may eat the smaller pieces (wing, leg, joints) with fingers. Larger pieces, such as chicken breast must be cut using a place or steak knife.

30. Cut one piece of chicken at a time. Lay the knife down and do not cut another piece until you have finished chewing. This helps both to moderate the pace of the meal and to preserve the aesthetic quality of the food’s presentation as long as possible.

31. Eating Vegetables Only the fork and knife are used during the main course. Never use your spoon for peas or mashed potatoes. Do not stab your vegetables. Use the knife, if necessary, to assist you as you move vegetables onto the fork. If a vegetable is long, you should cut it with a knife.

32. WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE THE FOOD? Even if you know that you abhor a certain food, allow it to be served to you. By doing so, you will ensure that those around you feel comfortable as they begin the course. As a way of looking as though you are participating in the soup course, lay your spoon in the soup bowl or on the service plate. Keep your utensils in one of these positions, and those around you may be more at ease to enjoy their soup.

33. COURTESY Do not season your food before you have tasted it. Never chew with your mouth open or make loud noises when you eat. Although it is possible to talk with a small piece of food in your mouth, do not talk with your mouth full.

34. WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED EATING Do not push your plate away from you when you have finished eating. Place your knife and fork side by side, with the sharp side of the knife blade facing inward and the fork, tines down, to the left of the knife. The knife and fork should be placed as if they are pointing to the numbers 10 and 4 on a clock face.

35. TIPPING A thank you tip is given to a person who has performed a service. Server - This should be 15 to 20 % of the total check. Coat-room attendant. A good rule of thumb is to leave 50 cents per coat. Parking valet. One or two dollars should be given when your car is parked for you and returned to you. Washroom attendant. If you have accepted a towel or related service from this person, 50 to $1 is in order.

36. TIPPING BLUNDERS Be prepared for tipping. Never wangle out of leaving a tip by making the excuse that you have only large bills with you. Leave a bill, rather than a pile of loose change, as a tip. Never leave pennies!! Leave a small tip, even if the service was poor. If you were not pleased with the service, simply don’t return.

37. ALWAYS WRITE A THANK YOU NOTE No later than a few days after the party, sit down and write a note expressing how much you enjoyed yourself. Dear Mr. and Mrs. Bernard, I was so glad to be at Helen’s graduation party. The flowers were beautiful, the food was delicious, and Helen looked so happy. I enjoyed myself very much. Sincerely,

38. RESOURCES Sabath, Ann Marie. Business Etiquette In Brief. Holbrook, MA. Bob Adams, Inc. 1993. Re, Judith. Social Savvy. NewYork, NY. Simon and Schuster, 1991. “Dining Etiquette in a Business Setting.” Virginia Tech Career Services. http://www.career.vt.edu/DiningEtiquette