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Why! Oh, Why! the Trojan War?

First: Background on the Playas (exposition) ‏. Why! Oh, Why! the Trojan War?. Leda and King Tyndareous. Leda is the wife of Tyndareous (King of Sparta) ‏ mother of Helen, (the most beautiful girl, ever) ‏ Castor , and P ollux (pretty BA warriors). Odysseus. King of Ithaca

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Why! Oh, Why! the Trojan War?

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  1. First: Background on the Playas (exposition)‏ Why! Oh, Why! the Trojan War?

  2. Leda and King Tyndareous Leda is the wife of Tyndareous (King of Sparta)‏ mother of Helen, (the most beautiful girl, ever)‏ Castor, and Pollux (pretty BA warriors)

  3. Odysseus King of Ithaca Known for his cleverness (not his looks)‏ Married to Penelope (Helen’s “plain” cousin) after he lost his bid for Helen (actually the arranged marriage was part of the settlement with Helen's dad)‏ Son of Laertes & Anticlea Father of Telemachus

  4. The Problem: Odysseus, Tyndareous, Most Men within a 100-mile radius, and Helen Tyndareous needs to find a husband for his wife’s beautiful daughter, Helen. Every man in the land wants to be that man No matter who “T” picks, the rest of the dudes are gonna be mad Odysseus hatches (Get it, Helen was hatched from an egg...) a plan to “help” Tyndareous with his crisis…

  5. Odysseus’ Solution… All of Helen’s suitors must sign an oath to protect the lucky dog that gets to marry her. Of course, each man signs thinking that he will be the winner, and therefore protected. Clever, huh? (That’s how you can remember who thought it up!)‏ This oath will be the reason that Menelaus believes he can count on the others when Helen is taken from him.

  6. The Menelaus Solution Menelaus, brother of Agamemnon, was chosen and Tyndareus made him King of Sparta, that’s right, two kings with the same title.

  7. Meanwhile, back on Mt. Olympus: \ Eris, the Goddess of , is NOT invited to the wedding of King Peleus and Thetis (Go figure, why on earth wouldn’t you invite discord to your wedding???)‏ So…Eris tosses a golden apple into the wedding with the inscription: “For the fairest.” Discord

  8. Zeus' Wisdom: “Thanks but no thanks on judging the beauty contest.” Of course Hera, Aphodite, and Athena all think that they are the clear choice for the apple. Naturally they go to Zeus to judge: he is an aficionado of loveliness. But Zeus was too smart for that…He sent them to Paris (The shepherd, not the city) to judge their beauty.

  9. The Judgment of Paris:Somewhere in a Mt. Ida Meadow Near Troy… Paris, a young prince and son of King Priam is herding sheep because his dad heard that someday he would bring ruin to the country. Zeus sends the goddesses to him, as he is reportedly a great judge of beauty. Another awkward moment: He was currently, uh, not exactly single: he was living with the lovely nyph, Oenone. (Imagine the dinner conversation…hey honey, what did you do today?)‏

  10. The Judgment of Paris, cont. Do you think they played fair? No way! Hera promised to make him Lord of Europe & Asia Athena…victory in battle against the Greeks Aphrodite…the most beautiful woman in the world!

  11. Which Goddess do ya' think he picked? That's right...the beauty. Score Aphro!!!! Now, what does that say about Paris, as opposed to the Greeks?

  12. But Wait, Isn't Helen Already Married? Aphrodite led Paris right to Helen and Menelaus' home. According to Xenia, what did they do? That's right young people, they took him in; welcomed him; fed him; and provided him shelter.

  13. So What Happened Next? Many Versions of Story Exist... Paris is a persuasive young man, so Helen goes of her own volition (some stories have her leaving a nine year old daughter behind)‏ Or Aphrodite intervened and she was unable to resist Or Paris flat out kidnapped her Either way, Paris violated Xenia while Menelaus was in Crete: his property was taken and his trust violated.

  14. Calling All Suitors... Now that Menelaus has been violated, all of those suitors of Helen came to his rescue, ready to burn Troy to the ground, right? Not so fast...two of the major players were M.I.A.

  15. Odysseus? Wasn't the Oath his Idea? Yes, but his son, Telemachus had just been born and he didn't want to leave home to fight a war over a faithless woman. Plus an oracle had warned him... So he pretended to be crazy, and depending on the versions, either: harness an ox and a horse instead of two oxen, or plow his fields and plant salt instead of seed. The messanger, or Menelaus and Agamemnon, was on to him, and put Tele in front of the plow: Odysseus swerved, and being found sane, left for war.

  16. So Who Else Chickens Out? Starting from the beginning: Thetis, Achilles' mom, from the moment he was born, was terrified that he would die: she had been warned by an oracle. Version one: she tried to burn the mortality out of him in the fire each night until she was busted by Peleus, his dad, and she ran away to the sea...

  17. Version Two.. This is the one that Homer doesn't seem to know: Thetis took Achilles to the River Styx and dipped him in the water for its protective properties: the only part that doesn't get dipped in immortal goodness was the ankle of one foot: the Achilles heel. Either way, Thetis knew that if he went to Troy, that heel would be the death of him.

  18. So, Where'd He Go? Mom sent him to the court of Lycomedes where he dressed like and lived among the young maidens... But clever Odysseus wasn't about to let him stay behind. His plan: take a lot of lovely girlly things and a few swords to the court, and see what would give.

  19. Achilles Of Course Achilles chose to admire the weapons, and it took no time for Odysseus to convince him that his “mommy” was being over protective: Glory could be his in battle!

  20. Let the Battle Begin! Not so fast. The thousand ships were ready, but the North wind wouldn't let up. An oracle claimed that Artemis was the cause of all of this. It seems that she was mad because some Greeks had killed a hare and her babies!

  21. How Can They Make Amends? Simple: Agamemnon just has to sacrifice his daughter, Iphigenia. He doesn't WANT to, but the army was depending on him. So he sends for her and tells her she's getting married: Suprise?

  22. So, Now Can the Battle Begin?? Just a Few Quick Notes First. The sacrifice of Iphigenia worked, but it was one of the first MAJOR no-no's the Greeks committed in their battle lust, and they would pay for it later. Protesilaus jumped ashore first, knowing that the oracles had said that the first man off the ship would die. This brave act got him some perks:he was treated like a god in burial, and he was allowed a trip out of the underworld to see his widow.

  23. Nine Short Years Later... We know little of the details of the war, but once the guys have been together for nine years, the drama gets going. When Agamemnon was forced to return his war prize, Chryseis to her father to stop a plague, he stole Achilles prize, Briseis to replace her.  This was nothing new, Achilles resented the authority of Agamemnon and Menelaus, and they resented his strength.

  24. In the Tenth Year, Fighting Continues Within the Greek Camp Achilles, still miffed about Briseus being taken from him by his boss, asks his mom, Thetis, to get the gods to get revenge for him. Zeus sends a deceptive dream to Agamemnon that makes him think he will win battles without Achilles’ help.

  25. But Before the Delusional Agamemnon Could Get Started... Before the battle begins, Hector suggests that Menelaus and Paris engage in hand-to-hand combat to settle the score and end the war. They do fight, but when Paris loses, Aphrodite whisks him away to safety.

  26. There is a brief peace until one genius warrior accidentally shoots an arrow striking Menelaus, then, as we say, it was on, again. And if You Thought Everyone Might Get to Go Home...

  27. So...Achilles is Over the Little Feud, Right? Achilles is still hurt and refuses to fight. So his young cousin and friend, Patroclus asks Achilles if he can borrow his armor so the Trojans will think he’s back. He refuses, but Patroclus steals it and is killed in battle by Hector who only discovers that he has not killed Achilles when he strips off the armor of the dead boy. He feels really bad. No really, he knows Patroclus was just a boy, and worst of all, Achilles’ friend. Uh oh!

  28. Hate to be Hector! When Achilles hears the news he puts on the new armor his mamma made him and returns to the battle to get revenge. He kills Hector, and then drags the body all around the city wall, essentially tearing him to bits. (Totally disrespectful!)‏ This little move of Até will cost the Greeks, much like the Iphigenia thing from before. Stay tuned...

  29. What do ya do with a torn-up body? Priam, Hector’s dad, appeals to Achilles to return Hector’s body for funeral pyre. Since he had gotten his anger out, he agrees.

  30. Look out Achilles... Nemesis was in fact visited on our pal Achilles, we knew it was coming with that Até business... Paris shoots Achilles in the ankle—mortally wounding him. He gets the hero's funeral rights. This is the end of The Iliad, let's make sure we got it down...

  31. The Greeks end up winning because of Odysseus and his Trojan Horse idea. He then attempts to get home, but since he made the gods angry, it takes him 10 years.

  32. Who's Who in the Trojan War G=God/Goddess P=Prince K=King W =Warrior TroyGreece P.Paris(theif/coward) K.Menelaus W. Hector K.Agamemnon G.Aphrodite W.Achilles G.Ares(war) K.Odysseus G.Zeus G. Athena K. Priam W. Diomedes Cassandra G.Hera G.Apollo W. Ajax G.Aartemis W. Patroclus

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