April: Understanding your husband’s need for respect May: Workshop - 5 Love Languages June: Q1/Q2 Family Life Teachin

1. Focus on The Family Q2 Theme: LOVE & RESPECT • April: Understanding your husband’s need for respect • May: Workshop - 5 Love Languages • June: Q1/Q2 Family Life Teachings Key Points Review + Q&A

2. April 27th Topic: Understanding Your Husband’s Need for Respect

3. Text: Proverbs 24:3-4 • Through wisdom is a house built; by understanding it is established; and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches • God’s wisdom for family government is the raw material for building an enviable home!

4. Marital Conflict • Marital conflict stems out of unmet needs, wants, and desires. • She wants one thing; He wants another • One activity is important to him; She detests it • e.g. He wants to save; she wants to spend/buy • She wants to keep; he wants to give

5. Marital Conflict • When one person needs or wants something badly enough, and the other person is unwilling or unable to meet that need, resentment grows…the seed of conflict is sown!

6. Marital Conflict • One selfishly wants what he/she wants without consideration for the capabilities, plans, goals, needs, desires of his/her spouse • Then, add the power of an unruly tongue, the situation becomes ripe for open conflict. • i.e. one or both parties are self- centered

7. Your Husband’s #1 Need • All wives need to know this - The number-one need of a man is RESPECT! • Ephesians 5:22-24 • Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head the wife even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything

8. Your Husband’s #1 Need • All wives need to know this - The number-one need of a man is RESPECT! • For your home to be filled with pleasure & life, you need to employ this wisdom of God (Proverbs 24:3-4) • A great marriage is not the product of luck, it’s the product of walking in the light of the scriptures

9. The World’s Standard • The culture around us is rude & disrespectful • It's all over television, news, the media, etc. • The worst thing a wife can do is treat her husband like she sees husbands being treated on TV

10. The Marriage Equilibrium • Ephesians 5:23 • Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband • LOVE & REVERENCE (RESPECT) is the fundamental Equilibrium of Marriage • This is God’s Design / Wisdom!

11. The Marriage Equilibrium • LOVE & REVERENCE (RESPECT) is the fundamental Equilibrium of Marriage • This is God’s Design / Wisdom! • If love does not match reverence/respect in the home and vice versa the foundation of the marriage is shaky, thus the building is likely to collapse

12. It’s a Cycle • The cycle starts with the husband… Ephesians 5:23 - Let every one of you in particular so love his wife… and the wife see that she reverence her husband • we focused on wives’ need for love and security in last teaching on gender differences • However, equally important is the need for the other end of the equation (respect) to keep the balance/equilibrium in the relationship

13. It’s a Cycle • It is a 2-way responsibility which solves majority of marital conflicts • When either party exempts himself/herself of the demands of the scripture on LOVE & RESPECT you sell short the quality of your family life! • Many problems in the home can be traced to wives that fail to respect this divine order of family government by disrespecting their husbands

14. The Key to His Heart! • The key to men’s heart is respect/esteem • This is not to put women down in any way; it is to provide you with the key to your husband’s heart • Its a God given key to access the love in his heart! • Men are as tender (sensitive) in their ego as women are physically

15. The Key to His Heart! • They are very aware of whether or not they are being respected or made to feel insignificant • Respect is like oxygen in a man's world… • He will gravitate to the place where he receives the most respect • In the same way, he will move away from the place where he does not receive honor, because it's painful for him.

16. Right or Happy? • We all want to be right, which means we don’t want an instance of wrongness to pass by without correcting it • Every husband is going to make some mistakes. But if you're in the habit of pointing out every single mistake your husband makes, that is severely lacking in honor/respect

17. Right or Happy? • Let a few of his failures escape without a comment • What's more important: being right or being happy? • Men gravitate to the place where they receive the most honor/respect

18. The Key to His Heart! • e.g. allowing him to fail (make mistakes) without shaming/nagging him is better than trying to enforce your opinion • Give your opinion but respect his actions/decisions

19. Expectation  Reality • When you elevate your husband to where you want him to be, he will rise to that level and act like that • Focus on his strengths not his faults and you’ll be surprised what he begins to do • Don’t beat-up on him or try to control the situation with silent/passive aggression

20. How would you treat Jesus? • The question wives need to ask themselves is "How would I treat Jesus?" • If you were married to Jesus, how would you treat Him? • Another way to show respect to your husband is to confront him (in love) when necessary, but when you do, let God be the enforcer

21. How would you treat Jesus? • Wives have the right to tell him anything you want to tell him. But it's not your job to brow-beat him and constantly make his life miserable until you get your way • Say what you need to say, then let the Holy Spirit take over from there • Pray for him. Ask God to change his heart. But don't take it upon yourself…

22. Note - Prayers Could be Hindered • Tensions within the family system could lead to a closed heaven & disqualifies it for divine blessings! • 1 Peter 3:7 – likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge… that your prayers are not hindered

23. Q&A