Love and Relationships: Exploring the Essence and Challenges

1. 高等院校研究生英语系列教材 综合教程（上） INTEGRATED COURSE

2. Unit 4 Love and Marriage 2

3. Content Starting out Reading Focus Reading More Practical Translation Focused Writing Final Project

4. Starting out—Task 1 Task 1 Work in groups to list the possible relationships a normal human being will encounter in his lifetime. Also list the words and activities related to a certain relationship.

5. Starting out—Task 1 e.g. Friendship, work, peer, love, parental, marriage… Words for reference: • Friendship: care, association, esteem,empathy, friendliness, attachment, affinity, bond, harmony, intimacy, affection; going to movies, heart-to-heart talk, playing sports together

6. Starting out—Task 1 • Work: co-worker, managers, team leaders, business talk, business lunch, team work, promotion… • Love: affection, attraction, romantic dating, candlelit dinner, hug, kiss, courtship… • Parental: unconditional love, deep care…

7. Starting out—Task 3 Task 3 Read the following paragraph and discuss with your partner what makes a happy marriage and why. • The Beatles sang, “All you need is love.” Your friends might tell you, “Good communication is all you really need.” Your parents advise you, “The key is to marry someone with the same values.” • What do you think is essential for a happy marriage?

8. Reading Focus Love and Loving Relationships

9. Global Understanding 2 Detailed Information 3 Critical Thinking Vocabulary in Action 4 6 Language Points Background Information 5 1 Reading Focus

10. 1 2 3 (Paras. 1-3) (Paras. 4-7) (Paras. 8-12) Reading Focus– Global Understanding Love is essential for human survival. What is love? What brings people together?

11. Reading More—GlobalUnderstanding Discuss in groups to identify the missing information. The family is the earliest and most important source of love and emotional support. • Children deprived of love have been known to develop a variety of problems. • Research shows the quality of care infants received affects how they later get along with friends.

12. Reading More—GlobalUnderstanding • Love for oneself, or self-love, is also essential for our social and emotional development. • Social scientists describe self-love as important for self-esteem. • People who don’t like themselves may not be able to return love but may constantly seek love relationships to bolster their own poor self-images.

13. Reading More—GlobalUnderstanding elusive concept • People give a variety of answers when asked what love is. • Love has many dimensions. • It can be romantic, exciting, obsessive, and irrational, platonic, calming, altruistic, and sensible. • It varies in degree and intensity and across social contexts.

14. Reading More—GlobalUnderstanding • a willingness to please and accommodate the other. • an acceptance of the other person’s faults and shortcomings. • as much concern about the loved one’s welfare as one’s own. • Love, especially longterm love, has nothing in common with the images of love or frenzied sex that we get from Hollywood, television, and romance novels. • “Real” love is closer to what one author called “stirring-the-oatmeal love”.

15. Reading More—GlobalUnderstanding What brings people together? And is there a person out there that one is meant for? Empirical studies show that cultural norms and values, not fate, bring people together. • Criticism and approval teach us what is acceptable romantic behavior and with whom. • Lust and desire are different from love—especially romantic love.

16. Reading More—GlobalUnderstanding • One should not conclude that desire always culminates in physical intimacy or that desire is the same as romantic love. • Healthy love relationships, whether physical or not (such as love for family members), reflect a balance of caring, intimacy, and commitment.

17. Reading Focus–Detailed Information Task 2 Choose the sentence that best expresses the meaning of the sentence from the text.(P105) Key: • 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 B A B C D C D C B B

18. Reading Focus Critical Thinking

19. Reading Focus—Critical Thinking Step One Read the following sentences from the text and decide whether you agree with the author. Work in groups to provide examples to support your opinions. 1. Love—as both an emotion and a behavior— is essential for human survival. 2. Love for oneself, or self-love, is also essential for our social and emotional development. 3. Love is an elusive concept. 4. Love has many dimensions.

20. Reading Focus—Critical Thinking Step Two Discuss in groups the following questions. 1. What do you think is the ideal relationship? 2. What is essential for a long-term relationship? 3. People say it’s difficult to maintain long-term relationship nowadays. Do you agree and why?

21. Reading Focus– Language Point • Babies and children deprived of love have known to develop a wide variety of problem—for example, depression, headaches, physiological impairments, and neurotic and psychosomatic difficulties—that sometimes last a lifetime. (Para. 1) • deprived of:剥夺；使丧失e.g.He was deprived of his rights to education. 他被剥夺了受教育的权利。 • impairment: the fact that a part of your body is unable to do something fully （身体机能的）受损 e.g.a hearing impairment 听力受损 • neurotic: extremely worried about something in an unreasonable way 极端焦虑的；神经质的 • psychosomatic: of or relating to a physical disorder or illness that is caused or seems to be influenced by emotional factors（疾病）由身心失调引起的

22. Reading Focus– Language Point • Among other things, people who like themselves are more open to criticism and less demanding of others. (Para. 3) • among other things:除了别的以外，此外 e.g.1)She’s very keen on sport: among other things, she plays tennis twice a week. 2) At the meeting they discussed, among other things, recent events in Japan. • demanding: (指人)对他人要求高的, 苛求的 e.g.Children are so demanding: they need constant attention.

23. Reading Focus– Language Point 3.Love has many dimensions. (Para. 5) • dimension:an aspect of a situation that influences the way that you think about the situation 方面；部分 e.g.1)There is a dimension to the problem that we have not discussed. 2) There is a political dimension to the accusations.

24. Reading Focus– Language Point 4.Although love may involve passionate yearning, respect is a more important quality. (Para. 6) • yearning: n.a strong desire or feeling of wanting something 向往，思慕， 渴望 e.g.1)He had a deep yearning to return to his home town. 2) I suppose it's because I live in a crowded city that I have this yearning for open spaces.

25. Reading Focus– Language Point 5. Even during the preteen years, romantic experiences are cultured in the sense that societal and group practices and expectations shape romantic experience. (Para. 10) • preteen:of, relating to, characteristic of, or designed for preteens 13岁以下儿童的 e.g.preteen fashions 青春期前儿童时装 • societal: relating to a particular society, or the way society is organized 社会的 e.g.societal changes 社会变革 societal forces 社会势力

26. Reading Focus– Language Point 6. Regan and Berscheid (1999) differentiate between lust, desire, and romantic love. (Para. 11) • differentiate:to see or show a difference between things= distinguish识别；看出······的差别 e.g.1) Neil is color-blind and cannot differentiate between red and green. 2) It's sometimes hard to differentiate one sample from another.

27. Reading Focus– Language Point 6. Once desirediminishes, disappointed lovers may wonder where the “spark” in their relationship hasgone and may reminisce regretfully (and longingly) about “the good old days”. (Para. 11) • diminish:to become less, or to make something become less （使）变小；（使）减少 e.g.Suddenly the wind diminished and the seas grew calm again. 突然风变小了，大海又平静了下来。 • reminisce:v.to recall or talk about past experiences, events, etc. 追忆往事，缅怀往事；回忆，话旧 e.g.We spent the evening reminiscing about our university days. 我们整晚都在追忆我们的大学时光。

28. Reading Focus– Language Point Exercise: Choose the appropriate word to fill in the blank, change the form when necessary. diminish decrease reduce 1) Our water supply __________________ as a result of the drought. 2) There has been a steady _____________ in population in this city. 3) The helmet law should _____________ injuries in motorcycle accidents. has diminished decrease reduce

29. Reading Focus – Vocabulary in Action Task 1 Choose the answer that is closest in meaning to the underlined word or phrase in the sentence. (P107) • Key 1- 2- 3- 4- 5- 6- 7- 8- 9- 10- A A C B B C D C A C

30. Reading Focus – Vocabulary in Action Task 2 Read the words and their explanations in the box. Choose a word to complete each of the sentencesbelow and explain its meaning. Change the form if necessary.(P107) maintain, intimate, essential, defy, dimension, romantic maintained (a) 1. The two countries have always ___________ close relations. 2. When we’re together, all he talks about is business. I wish he were more __________. 3. The museum is closed while _________ repairs are being carried out. 4. She had packed two cases with clothes, towels and other __________. 5. His coaching has added another __________ to my game. romantic (a) essential (a) essentials (c) dimension (c)

31. Reading Focus – Vocabulary in Action 6. We’re not on _________ terms with our neighbours. 7. He __________ that the money was donated for international purposes. 8. The beauty of the scene ___________ description. 9. He ___________ his wishes with a slight nod of his head. 10. Computers design tools that work in three ____________. intimate (a) maintains (c) defies (b) intimated (d) dimensions (a)

32. Reading Focus – Vocabulary in Action defy (a) 11. This was the first time that I dared to ________ my mother. 12. The castle is set in one of England’s most ___________ landscapes. 13. I did not realize the ____________ of the problem. 14. Her income was barely enough to ___________ one child, let alone three. 15. He surprised me with his ___________ knowledge of Kierkegaard and Schopenhauer. romantic (b) dimensions (b) maintain (d) intimate (c)

33. Reading Focus – Vocabulary in Action Task 3 • Fill in each of the blanks with an appropriate word from the box. Change the form if necessary. • 2) • 4) • 6) • 8) • 10) prerequisite date respect important whomever candidates highly essential suitable sufficient

34. Reading More The Last Chapter

35. Reading More Global Understanding 1 Detailed Information 2 Critical Thinking 3 Language Points 4 Vocabulary in Action 5

36. Paras. 4-6 Paras. 1-3 Paras. 7-15 Paras. 16-18 Reading More—GlobalUnderstanding Loving couple Fighting youth Change happening Loving because of forgetting

37. Reading Focus–Detailed Information Text Exploration Complete the following extra with information from the text. (P113) Key: 1) everything 11) anxiety 6) financial 2) throw 12) cry 7) alcohol 3) lost 13) approached 8) taking 14) shared 4) marriage 9) where 15) structure 5) fear 10) explained

38. Reading More Critical Thinking

39. Reading More—Critical Thinking Step One Work together with your partner to answer the following questions based on the text you’ve just read. 1. What caused the problems in the marriage of the old couple when they were young? 2. What was the cause for the changes that occurred later when they got old? 3. If you were a marriage consultant, what suggestions would you give to couples who have the same problems as the old couple had in the passage?

40. Reading More—Critical Thinking Step Two Discuss in groups the following questions. 1. Why do we need marriage today? Is it loneliness? Is it teamwork? Share with your classmates your ideas about why people get married. 2. “You do not marry someone you can live with; you marry the person you cannot live without.” Do you agree with the saying? Give your reasons.

41. Reading More – Language Point • Their loving reassurances were sweet, touching—and surprising. (Para. 3) • reassurance: something that is said or done which makes someone feel calmer and less worried or frightened about a probleme.g. 1)Parents are looking for reassurance about their children's safety. 2) The Administration gave repeated reassurances that there was absolutely no danger to the public.

42. Reading More – Language Point 2.He was a Republican; she an ardent Democrat. (Para. 5) • ardent:showing strong positive feelings about an activity and determination to succeed at ite.g.1)He's been one of the most ardent supporters of the administration's policy. 2) an ardent baseball fan

43. Reading More – Language Point 3.There was a hope that they would change once they retired, and the furious winds did calm somewhat, but what remained steeled itself into bright, hard bitterness. (Para. 6) • furious: [only before noun] done with a lot of energy, effort, or anger 猛烈的，强烈的，激烈的 e.g.a furious storm 猛烈的暴风雨 a furious argument 激烈的争论 • steel yourself: to prepare yourself to do something that you know will be unpleasant or upsetting e.g.As she waited, she steeled herself for disappointment.

44. Reading More – Language Point 4. We’d provide the cake, the balloons, the toasts, and they’d abide by one rule: no fighting. (Para. 7) • abide by:to accept and obey a decision, rule, agreement etc, even though you may not agree with ite.g.You have to abide by the referee's decision.

45. Reading More – Vocabulary in Action Task 1 Fill in each of the blanks with an appropriate form of the word given and explains its meaning. 1.doubt A. Whether he will continue to be successful in the future is open to _____________. B. I __________if that was what he wanted. C. I’m still _________ whether I should accept this job. doubt doubt doubtful

46. Reading More – Vocabulary in Action • 2. sprout • A. Hundreds of mushrooms had __________ up overnight. • B. Add bean ________ and cook another half minute. • 3. lavish • A. It was one of the most _________weddings I’ve ever been to. • B. He thought he would win her by _________her with expensive gifts. sprouted sprouts lavish lavishing

47. Reading More – Vocabulary in Action • 4. share • A. Sue _______ a house with three other students. • B. Would you like to ______ your experience with the rest of the group? • C. He’d had more than his fair _______ of adventure. • 5. bet • A. I wouldn’t _____ on them winning the next election. • B. Bookmakers are already taking _____ on the outcome. • C. Our best _____ would be to take the train. shares share share bet bets bet

48. Reading More – Vocabulary in Action • 6. separate • A. Raw meat must be kept _______ from cooked meat. • B. He _________ from his wife after 20 years of marriage. • C. He said he understood her doubts and perhaps a trial _________ might be the answer. • 7. respective • A. They are each recognized specialists in their _________ fields. • B. In terms of population, California and New York rank first and second ____________. • C. In this _______, we are no different from other people. separate separates separation respective respectively respect

49. Reading More – Vocabulary in Action • 8. roost • A. Today the country’s nationalists rule the _____ and hand out the jobs. • B. After years of overspending, the chickens have come home to _____. • 9. increase • A. The government is alarmed by the dramatic ________ in violent crime. • B. ____________, people are realizing that our basic problems are not economic ones. • C. High alcohol consumption _________ the risk of liver disease. roost roost increase Increasingly increases

50. Reading More – Vocabulary in Action • 10. hunt • A. Whales are still being _______ and killed in the Arctic. • B. There are several different ______ in the area. • C. The couple had helped in the _____ for the toddlers. • D. Job ______ takes a lot of effort and can be a long, depressing process. • 11. raise • A. Somehow we managed to _____ her to her feet. • B. Library employees have not received a _____ for six years. • C. There was a ______ platform and a blackboard at the far end of the room. hunted hunts hunt hunting raise raise raised