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79.1 – Explain why we befriend or fall in love with some people but not others. The Rules of Attraction (Key Factors) Proximity geographic nearness is a powerful predictor of friendship.
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79.1 – Explain why we befriend or fall in love with some people but not others. The Rules of Attraction (Key Factors) Proximity • geographic nearness is a powerful predictor of friendship. • proximity breeds liking partly because of the mere exposure effect, in which repeated exposure to novel stimuli increases their attraction. • Proximity/Physical Closeness • Availability depends heavily on proximity • Mere Exposure Effect • The phenomenon that repeated exposure to novel stimuli increases our liking of them • “He grew on me…” • (Applies to our perception of our self as well)
79.1 – Explain why we befriend or fall in love with some people but not others. The Rules of Attraction (Key Factors) Physical Attractiveness • once proximity affords contact, the next most important thing in attraction is physical appearance. • beauty in in the eye of the culture, but some aspects of attractiveness do cross place and time. • overall – average, symmetrical faces and bodies. • women with a youthful, fertile appearance. • men who seem mature, dominant, masculine, and affluent. • Physical Attractiveness • Research indicates that attractive people of both sexes enjoy greater mating success • We also consider our OWN LEVEL of attractiveness when pursuing partners • The “Matching” Hypothesis
79.1 – Explain why we befriend or fall in love with some people but not others. The Rules of Attraction (Key Factors) Similarity • similar views among individuals cause the bond of attraction to strengthen. • similarity breeds content. • Similarity Effects • Birds of a feather flock together… • Age, race, religion, social class, education, intelligence, physical attractiveness, values and attitudes… • Serves to validate us… • Similarity causes attraction; however, attraction can also foster similarity… • Reciprocity of Liking • The tendency of people to like people who like them
79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes. • Components of Love (Robert Sternberg, 1997) • Intimacy • Feelings of closeness; emotional ties • Passion • The physical aspect of love; characterized by large swings in positive & negative emotions • Commitment • The decisions that one makes regarding a relationship • May coexist, but don’t necessarily go hand-in-hand…
79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes. Passionate Love • intimate love relationships start with passionate love – an aroused state of intense positive absorption in another. Companionate Love • a deep, affectionate attachment we feel for those with whom our lives are intertwined. • in the most satisfying of marriages, attraction and sexual desire endure, minus the obsession of early stage romance. Keys to a Gratifying and Enduring Relationship • equity: a condition in which people receive from a relationship in proportion to what they give. • self-disclosure: revealing intimate aspect of oneself to others.
79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes. Love as Attachment (Cindy Hazan & Philip Shaver, 1987) • Studied similarities between love & attachment relationships in infancy and in adulthood • The vast majority of people relive their early bonding experiences (with their parents) in their adult relationships
79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes. Love as Attachment (Cindy Hazan & Philip Shaver, 1987) • Secure Attachment (56% of adult subjects) • I find it relatively easy to get close to others… • I am comfortable depending on others and having them depend on me… • I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me…
79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes. Love as Attachment (Cindy Hazan & Philip Shaver, 1987) • Avoidant Attachment (24% of adult subjects) • I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others… • I find it difficult to trust them & difficult to allow myself to depend on them… • I am nervous when anyone gets too close… • I often feel that partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being…
79.2 – Describe how romantic love typically changes as time passes. Love as Attachment (Cindy Hazan & Philip Shaver, 1987) • Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment (20% of adult subject) • I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like… • I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me… • I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away…