Developing paragraphs

1. Developing paragraphs Integrating Quotes Selection of Quotes Fully Developing Ideas

2. Three Steps • Introduce the quote with the speaker and context. • Give the quote (with the page number) • Fully develop the idea. This means relate the quote to the point you are making.

3. Essential to this discussion Students need to start out with a good claim. What makes a claim good? * it should not state a fact * it is something that needs to be proven with evidence from the text.

4. Claim: Parents should not dangle their children over walls to feed wild (potentially rabid) raccoons.

5. Claim: Parents should not encourage their children to use drugs and alcohol.

6. Good claim Bradbury is concerned that children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. • Do I have technology obsessed kids in this story? • Do the children show disrespect for their parents in this story? • Does the claim speculate something that needs proof?

7. Once you have a claim What do I have to prove? Children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. THINK: I need to prove both are true and I need to show cause and effect. Student now needs to go and find evidence in the text.

8. Sample Student Paragraph Often students find quotes in the text and their initial paragraphs look like this: Children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. “I wouldn’t want the nursery locked up,” said Peter coldly. “Ever.” (14). Also “Peter looked at his shoes. He never looked at his father any more, nor at his mother.” (14). These quotes show he is rude to his parents. “I don’t want to do anything but look and listen and smell; what else is there to do?” (14).

9. Children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. Peter’s rudeness is quite evident when his father tells him that he is thinking of turning off the nursery. In reply, Peter “coldly” responds, “I wouldn’t want the nursery locked up…ever” (14). On another occasion, Peter “snapped” at his father (14). Also “Peter looked at his shoes. He never looked at his father any more, nor at his mother.” (14). These quotes show he is rude to his parents. “I don’t want to do anything but look and listen and smell; what else is there to do?” (14). • Pertinent Quotes

10. Children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. Peter’s rudeness is quite evident when his father tells him that he is thinking of turning off the nursery. In reply, Peter “coldly” responds, “I wouldn’t want the nursery locked up…ever” (14). On another occasion, Peter “snapped” at his father(14). Also “Peter looked at his shoes. He never looked at his father any more, nor at his mother.” (14). These quotes show he is rude to his parents. “I don’t want to do anything but look and listen and smell; what else is there to do?” (14).

11. Children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. Peter’s rudeness is quite evident when his father tells him that he is thinking of turning off the nursery. In reply, Peter “coldly” responds, “I wouldn’t want the nursery locked up…ever” (14). On another occasion, Peter “snapped” at his father (14). Also “Peter looked at his shoes. He never looked at his father any more, nor at his mother.” (14). Peter’s lacks of eye contact and his abrupt, cold manner with his father demonstrate his lack of respect.These quotes show he is rude to his parents. “I don’t want to do anything but look and listen and smell; what else is there to do?” (14).

12. Children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. Peter’s rudeness is quite evidentwhen his father tells him that he is thinking of turning off the nursery. In reply, Peter “coldly” responds, “I wouldn’t want the nursery locked up…ever” (14). On another occasion, Peter “snapped” at his father (14). Also “Peter looked at his shoes. He never looked at his father any more, nor at his mother.” (14). Peter’s lacks of eye contact and his abrupt, cold manner with his father demonstrate his lack of respect. When George Hadley, Peter’s father, calls in a psychiatrist to examine the nursery, he discovers why the children have become so rude. “I’ve taken a few machines from the house and threatened them, a month ago, with closing up the nursery unless they did their homework. I did close it a few days to show I meant business.” “Ah, ha!” “Where before they had a Santa Clause now they have a Scrooge. You’ve let this room and this house replace you and your wife in your children’s affections. This room is their mother and father, far more important in their lives than their real parents. No wonder there’s hatred here” (16). These quotes show he is rude to his parents. “I don’t want to do anything but look and listen and smell; what else is there to do?” (14).

13. Children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. Peter’s rudeness is quite evident when his father tells him that he is thinking of turning off the nursery. In reply, Peter “coldly” responds, “I wouldn’t want the nursery locked up…ever” (14). On another occasion, Peter “snapped” at his father (14). Also “Peter looked at his shoes. He never looked at his father any more, nor at his mother.” (14). Peter’s lacks of eye contact and his abrupt, cold manner with his father demonstrate his lack of respect. When George Hadley, Peter’s father, calls in a psychiatrist to examine the nursery, he discovers why the children have become so rude. He tells the psychiatrist that he has “taken a few machines from the house” and even closed up the nursery a few months ago to get his children to do their homework (16).When he reveals that he has done this, the psychiatrist instantly understands the problem in this family. He tells George, “Ah, ha!” “Where before they had a Santa Clause now they have a Scrooge.You’ve let this room and this house replace you and your wife in your children’s affections. This room is their mother and father, far more important in their lives than their real parents. No wonder there’s hatred here” (16).

14. Children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. Peter’s rudeness is quite evident when his father tells him that he is thinking of turning off the nursery. In reply, Peter “coldly” responds, “I wouldn’t want the nursery locked up…ever” (14). On another occasion, Peter “snapped” at his father (14). Also “Peter looked at his shoes. He never looked at his father any more, nor at his mother.” (14). Peter’s lacks of eye contact and his abrupt, cold manner with his father demonstrate his lack of respect. Recognizing the trouble he is having with his children George calls in a psychiatrist to examine the nursery. It is only then that he discovers why his children have become so rude. George tells the psychiatrist that he has “taken a few machines from the house” and even closed up the nursery a few months ago to get his children to do their homework (16). When he reveals that he has done this, the psychiatrist instantly understands the problem in this family. He tells George, “You’ve let this room and this house replace you and your wife in your children’s affections. This room is their mother and father, far more important in their lives than their real parents. No wonder there’s hatred here” (16). These children will never respond to their parents lovingly or respectfully because, as the psychiatrist reveals, “there’s hatred here.” The children are obsessed with their technology and love it more than they love their own parents. When it is turned off Peter pleads, “don’t let father kill everything” (17). Peter’s choice of the word “kill” demonstrates that to him his technology is alive. When his father turns it all off, he shouts to his father, “I hate you” and “I wish you were dead” (17). Presented with the option of having technology or parents, the children choose technology and literally feed their parents to the lions on the walls of their nursery. The children have transferred their love and respect to technology, and unfortunately for their parents, it is a fatal obsession.

15. What do you think? Reread the original paragraph: Children do not respect their parents anymore due to their obsession with technology. “I wouldn’t want the nursery locked up,” said Peter coldly. “Ever.” (14). Also “Peter looked at his shoes. He never looked at his father any more, nor at his mother.” (14). These quotes show he is rude to his parents. “I don’t want to do anything but look and listen and smell; what else is there to do?” (14). Now go and read the paragraph on the last slide. The student writing is smoother. All assertions are supported. The student is moving toward analysis rather than summary. The final paragraph is definitely better than the first attempt.

16. THE END….quite literally