Paragraph Unity and Coherence: Crafting Clear and Connected Writing

1. Paragraphs(taken from Mayfield Handbook of Technical & Scientific Writing 1998) Paragraph Unity - make every sentence contribute to the controlling idea (usually stated in topic sentence) • Topic sentence states the central idea of a paragraph • Key element in developing unified and coherent paragraphs • Other sentences elaborate on topic sentence with relevant information and evidence • Usually first sentence of paragraph, but does not have to be • Paragraph may also contain a transitional element from previous paragraph or transitional element to next paragraph

2. Paragraphs(taken from Mayfield Handbook of Technical & Scientific Writing 1998) Example • Topic sentence Time became a key word in the language of physics during the 17th century. Isaac Newton wove the passage of time directly into his equations, as in force = mass x acceleration. Today, it is difficult for any physicist to examine the universe without thinking of time in much the same way as the illustrious Briton did more than 300 year ago. Most of the laws of physics continue to be written in the style of Newton; they are designed to show how things change from one moment to the next. Each event under study, such as the path of a ball thrown into the air or the thermodynamics of a melting ice cube, is broken down into a series of freeze-frames that, run like a movie, show how nature works. • All other sentences inform the topic sentence • Concludes with over-arching thought about implications • Marcia Bartusiak, “When the Universe Began, What Time Was It?”, Technology Review

3. Paragraphs(taken from Mayfield Handbook of Technical & Scientific Writing 1998) • Paragraph Coherence – a coherent paragraph: • is more than simply laying down facts • organizes facts, creating a logical argument that makes sense from idea to idea • has a beginning, middle, and end Limited investment in the housing sector makes it practically impossible to allocate sufficient resources for urban dwellers’ housing needs. A high rate of urban population growth has increased the country’s needs for housing. A small group of city officials has laid out a new plan to combat the crisis. A solution to the housing-shortage problem is a vital policy issue here. The housing problem has grown in the last twenty years. [Although related by topic (housing shortage), each sentence makes its own separate point with no link to the sentences before or after. The result is a group of related yet separate ideas instead of one coherent paragraph.]

4. Paragraphs(taken from Mayfield Handbook of Technical & Scientific Writing 1998) Weak (from previous slide) • 1 Limited investment in the housing sector makes it practically impossible to allocate sufficient resources for urban dwellers’ housing needs. A high rate of urban population growth has increased the country’s needs for housing. A small group of city officials has laid out a new plan to combat the crisis. A solution to the housing-shortage problem is a vital policy issue here. The housing problem has grown in the last twenty years. • 3 • 5 • 4 • 2 Improved Limited investment in the housing sector makes it practically impossible to allocate sufficient resources for urban dwellers’ housing needs. In fact, the problem has grown in the last twenty years. Because a high rate of urban population growth has increased the country’s needs for housing, a solution to the housing-shortage problem is a vital policy issue here. A small group of city officials has laid out a new plan to combat the crisis. [Each separate fact now flows into the next, creating a coherent whole.] Note the use of transitional words and phrases • Samuel Nunn, “Role of Local Infrastructure Policies and Economic Development Incentives in Metropolitan Interjurisdictional Cooperation,” Journal of Urban Planning and Development

5. Paragraphs(taken from Mayfield Handbook of Technical & Scientific Writing 1998) Transitional Devices – verbal “bridges” to link one idea to the next; crucial to paragraph coherence Weak Reducing drag in an aerospace vehicle is an important design consideration with financial and operational consequences. Poorly designed rocket fuselages can triple fuel and launch costs. Drag increases stress on key joints. This proposed project will develop a model to reduce aerodynamic drag on the RX100. Improved Reducing drag in an aerospace vehicle is an important design consideration with financial and operational consequences. For example, poorly designed rocket fuselages can triple fuel and launch costs. Moreover, drag increases stress on key joints. Therefore, this proposed project will develop a model to reduce aerodynamic drag on the RX100.

6. Paragraphs(taken from Mayfield Handbook of Technical & Scientific Writing 1998) Common Transitional Words/Phrases Cause and effect: consequently, therefore, accordingly, as a result, because, for this reason, hence, thus Sequence: furthermore, in addition, moreover, first, second, third, finally, again, also, and, besides, further, in the first place, last, likewise, next, then too Comparison or contrast: similarly, also, in the same way, likewise, although, at the same time, but, conversely, even so, however, in contrast, nevertheless, nonetheless, notwithstanding, on the contrary, otherwise, still, yet Example: for example, for instance, in fact, indeed, of course, specifically, that is, to illustrate Purpose: for this purpose, for this reason, to this end, with this object Time or location: nearby, above, adjacent to, below, beyond, farther on, here, opposite to, there, to the south, before, after, later, afterward, immediately, in the meantime, meanwhile, now, since, soon, then, while

8. The transfer of energy across habitats can have important consequences for ecological community dynamics and ecosystem processes [Broad context] • Highly mobile organisms such as fish can couple seemingly disconnected habitats. [Narrowing done a bit] • Loss of native fishes resulting from overfishing or invasive species may disrupt ecological processes [Getting more specific and closer to my study question/system] • In this study, we examined the role of cisco in the movement of energy from offshore to nearshore habitats [What I am doing]

9. The transfer of energy across habitats can have important consequences for ecological community dynamics and ecosystem processes • For example… • Implication in broad sense • Highly mobile organisms such as fish can couple seemingly disconnected habitats. • For example… • Weave in process(es) specific to my question in a general context – introduce the process I am going to present • Implication in a more focused context • Loss of native fishes resulting from overfishing or invasive species may disrupt ecological processes • My system – setup the context of my research within the broader question • How can my research/system contribute to knowledge about the process(es) I describe above • In this study, we examined the role of cisco in the movement of energy from offshore to nearshore habitats. • More specifics about my system • Hypotheses/expectations • General approach/method(s)

10. The transfer of energy across habitats can have important consequences for ecological community dynamics and ecosystem processes • For example… • Implication in broad sense The transfer of energy across habitats can have important consequences for ecological community dynamics and ecosystem processes (e.g. Polis, Anderson & Holt, 1997). For example, predators can alter ecosystem properties across habitats directly through consumption and the translocation of nutrients, and indirectly through predator-induced prey habitat and foraging shifts effects (Schmitz et al., 2008; Schmitz, 2010). Connections between different habitats also may facilitate the export of primary production to food-limited habitats, resulting in greater overall production than would be the case with disconnected habitats (e.g. Cloern, 2007).

11. Highly mobile organisms such as fish can couple seemingly disconnected habitats. • For example… • Weave in process(es) specific to my question in a general context – introduce the process I am going to present • Implication in a more focused context Highly mobile organisms such as fish can couple seemingly disconnected habitats. Semelparous Pacific salmon (Onchorynchus spp.) move marine-derived nutrients to coastal ecosystems where they have a significant impact on freshwater and terrestrial production (e.g. Kline et al., 1993). Similarly, migratory iteroparous fish, such as alewife (Alosapseudoharengus; Durbin, Nixon & Oviatt, 1979), blueback herring (A. aestivalis; MacAvoyet al., 2000) and rainbow smelt (Osmerusmordax; Saunders, Hachey & Fay, 2006), move nutrients and may be taken by predators as they move within and among habitats seasonally. In addition to nutrients, egg deposition may represent significant pulses of food resource in coastal marine (e.g. Willson & Womble, 2006) and river (Heintz, Wipfli & Hudson, 2010) systems. In lakes, energy fluxes between benthic and pelagic habitats facilitated by fish movement are considered important processes in whole-lake food webs (e.g. Schindler & Scheuerell, 2002).

12. Loss of native fishes resulting from overfishing or invasive species may disrupt ecological processes • My system – setup the context of my research within the broader question • How can my research/system contribute to knowledge about the process(es) I describe above Loss of native fishes resulting from overfishing or invasive species may disrupt ecological processes (Zimmerman & Krueger, 2009). For example, cisco (Coregonusartedi) was a major component of fish assemblages in all the Laurentian Great Lakes (Smith, 1995) but collapsed by the middle of the 20th Century in most of the lakes (Lawrie & Rahrer, 1973). Among the Laurentian Great Lakes, Superior is unique because its food web is currently dominated by native species, including rehabilitated cisco populations (Stockwell et al., 2009). Cisco are an important prey for native piscivores because their relatively large size provides a high net energy return (Mason, Johnson & Kitchell, 1998; Kaufman et al., 2006). Additionally, a diet of cisco, compared to one of non-native species, such as alewife, does not induce thiaminase-related recruitment failure in piscivores (e.g. Brown et al., 2005), a condition similar to M74 syndrome in Baltic salmon (Salmosalar; e.g. Lundstr€omet al., 1999). Thus, the presence of cisco in Lake Superior provides an opportunity to test hypotheses about the role of native fish in habitat coupling and ecosystem processes in a large lake environment.

13. In this study, we examined the role of cisco in the movement of energy from offshore to nearshore habitats. • More specifics about my system • Hypotheses/expectations • General approach/method(s) In this study, we examined the role of cisco in the movement of energy from offshore to nearshore habitats. Adult cisco are primarily planktivorous (e.g. Gamble et al., 2011a), occupy offshore pelagic waters in Lake Superior (Stockwell et al., 2006; Stockwell et al., 2010) and move nearshore to spawn in late autumn (Yule et al., 2009). Their eggs incubate over winter and hatch in April and May and thus may provide an energy-rich resource for benthic predators from late autumn to spring. Previous studies in Lake Superior and the other Great Lakes indicate the macroinvertebratesMysis and Diporeiaare important prey for fish from spring to autumn (e.g. Owens & Dittman, 2003; Gamble et al., 2011a,b; Isaac et al., 2012).

14. In this study, we examined the role of cisco in the movement of energy from offshore to nearshore habitats. • More specifics about my system • Hypotheses/expectations • General approach/method(s) In this study, we examined the role of cisco in the movement of energy from offshore to nearshore habitats. Adult cisco are primarily planktivorous (e.g. Gamble et al., 2011a), occupy offshore pelagic waters in Lake Superior (Stockwell et al., 2006; Stockwell et al., 2010) and move nearshore to spawn in late autumn (Yule et al., 2009). Their eggs incubate over winter and hatch in April and May and thus may provide an energy-rich resource for benthic predators from late autumn to spring. Previous studies in Lake Superior and the other Great Lakes indicate the macroinvertebratesMysis and Diporeiaare important prey for fish from spring to autumn (e.g. Owens & Dittman, 2003; Gamble et al., 2011a,b; Isaac et al., 2012). Therefore, we hypothesized that cisco eggs act as a resource subsidy and support the nearshore benthic community in winter, when macroinvertebrate production is likely to be low (Stockwell et al., 2010). If true, cisco eggs should be an important diet for benthic fish throughout winter. Additionally, if cisco eggs have stable isotopic values distinct from invertebrate prey, this should be reflected in isotopic values of benthic fish between autumn and spring. In particular, cisco eggs should have a higher d15N than invertebrate prey, reflecting their higher trophic status, and a lower d13C because of the pelagic origin of their carbon (France, 1995) and high lipid content. Alternatively, the nearshore production of benthic invertebrate prey may be sufficiently high that the comparative contribution of cisco eggs is negligible. We would then expect to see the winter diet of benthic fish dominated by invertebrates and their stable isotopic values reflecting that diet.

15. In this study, we examined the role of cisco in the movement of energy from offshore to nearshore habitats. • More specifics about my system • Hypotheses/expectations • General approach/method(s) In this study, we examined the role of cisco in the movement of energy from offshore to nearshore habitats. Adult cisco are primarily planktivorous (e.g. Gamble et al., 2011a), occupy offshore pelagic waters in Lake Superior (Stockwell et al., 2006; Stockwell et al., 2010) and move nearshore to spawn in late autumn (Yule et al., 2009). Their eggs incubate over winter and hatch in April and May and thus may provide an energy-rich resource for benthic predators from late autumn to spring. Previous studies in Lake Superior and the other Great Lakes indicate the macroinvertebratesMysis and Diporeiaare important prey for fish from spring to autumn (e.g. Owens & Dittman, 2003; Gamble et al., 2011a,b; Isaac et al., 2012). Therefore, we hypothesized that cisco eggs act as a resource subsidy and support the nearshore benthic community in winter, when macroinvertebrate production is likely to be low (Stockwell et al., 2010). If true, cisco eggs should be an important diet for benthic fish throughout winter. Additionally, if cisco eggs have stable isotopic values distinct from invertebrate prey, this should be reflected in isotopic values of benthic fish between autumn and spring. In particular, cisco eggs should have a higher d15N than invertebrate prey, reflecting their higher trophic status, and a lower d13C because of the pelagic origin of their carbon (France, 1995) and high lipid content. Alternatively, the nearshore production of benthic invertebrate prey may be sufficiently high that the comparative contribution of cisco eggs is negligible. We would then expect to see the winter diet of benthic fish dominated by invertebrates and their stable isotopic values reflecting that diet.We test these hypotheses using results from fish and macroinvertebrate surveys, fish population demographics, diet and stable isotope analyses, and bioenergetics modelling and discuss the consequences of our findings with regard to the importance of native fish in ecosystem processes.

16. The transfer of energy across habitats can have important consequences for ecological community dynamics and ecosystem processes (e.g. Polis, Anderson & Holt, 1997). For example, predators can alter ecosystem properties across habitats directly through consumption and the translocation of nutrients, and indirectly through predator-induced prey habitat and foraging shifts effects (Schmitz et al., 2008; Schmitz, 2010). Connections between different habitats also may facilitate the export of primary production to food-limited habitats, resulting in greater overall production than would be the case with disconnected habitats (e.g. Cloern, 2007). Highly mobile organisms such as fish can couple seemingly disconnected habitats. Semelparous Pacific salmon (Onchorynchus spp.) move marine-derived nutrients to coastal ecosystems where they have a significant impact on freshwater and terrestrial production (e.g. Kline et al., 1993). Similarly, migratory iteroparous fish, such as alewife (Alosapseudoharengus; Durbin, Nixon & Oviatt, 1979), blueback herring (A. aestivalis; MacAvoyet al., 2000) and rainbow smelt (Osmerusmordax; Saunders, Hachey & Fay, 2006), move nutrients and may be taken by predators as they move within and among habitats seasonally. In addition to nutrients, egg deposition may represent significant pulses of food resource in coastal marine (e.g. Willson & Womble, 2006) and river (Heintz, Wipfli & Hudson, 2010) systems. In lakes, energy fluxes between benthic and pelagic habitats facilitated by fish movement are considered important processes in whole-lake food webs (e.g. Schindler & Scheuerell, 2002). Loss of native fishes resulting from overfishing or invasive species may disrupt ecological processes (Zimmerman & Krueger, 2009). For example, cisco (Coregonusartedi) was a major component of fish assemblages in all the Laurentian Great Lakes (Smith, 1995) but collapsed by the middle of the 20th Century in most of the lakes (Lawrie & Rahrer, 1973). Among the Laurentian Great Lakes, Superior is unique because its food web is currently dominated by native species, including rehabilitated cisco populations (Stockwell et al., 2009). Cisco are an important prey for native piscivores because their relatively large size provides a high net energy return (Mason, Johnson & Kitchell, 1998; Kaufman et al., 2006). Additionally, a diet of cisco, compared to one of non-native species, such as alewife, does not induce thiaminase-related recruitment failure in piscivores (e.g. Brown et al., 2005), a condition similar to M74 syndrome in Baltic salmon (Salmosalar; e.g. Lundstr€omet al., 1999). Thus, the presence of cisco in Lake Superior provides an opportunity to test hypotheses about the role of native fish in habitat coupling and ecosystem processes in a large lake environment. In this study, we examined the role of cisco in the movement of energy from offshore to nearshore habitats. Adult cisco are primarily planktivorous (e.g. Gamble et al., 2011a), occupy offshore pelagic waters in Lake Superior (Stockwell et al., 2006; Stockwell et al., 2010) and move nearshore to spawn in late autumn (Yule et al., 2009). Their eggs incubate over winter and hatch in April and May and thus may provide an energy-rich resource for benthic predators from late autumn to spring. Previous studies in Lake Superior and the other Great Lakes indicate the macroinvertebratesMysis and Diporeiaare important prey for fish from spring to autumn (e.g. Owens & Dittman, 2003; Gamble et al., 2011a,b; Isaac et al., 2012). Therefore, we hypothesized that cisco eggs act as a resource subsidy and support the nearshore benthic community in winter, when macroinvertebrate production is likely to be low (Stockwell et al., 2010). If true, cisco eggs should be an important diet for benthic fish throughout winter. Additionally, if cisco eggs have stable isotopic values distinct from invertebrate prey, this should be reflected in isotopic values of benthic fish between autumn and spring. In particular, cisco eggs should have a higher d15N than invertebrate prey, reflecting their higher trophic status, and a lower d13C because of the pelagic origin of their carbon (France, 1995) and high lipid content. Alternatively, the nearshore production of benthic invertebrate prey may be sufficiently high that the comparative contribution of cisco eggs is negligible. We would then expect to see the winter diet of benthic fish dominated by invertebrates and their stable isotopic values reflecting that diet. We test these hypotheses using results from fish and macroinvertebrate surveys, fish population demographics, diet and stable isotope analyses, and bioenergetics modelling and discuss the consequences of our findings with regard to the importance of native fish in ecosystem processes.

17. Assignment for Thursday 3/23 • Write a 4 to 6 paragraph Introduction for your research project using the framework we just covered • Bring two (2) hard copies with you next week’s writing session

18. Edit these sentences for conciseness (Lui et al. 2014) According to Table 1, it can be seen that there were more zooplankton species in the lake area, external river and internal river than in the water forest and aquaculture ponds. The zooplankton density at the Dalianhu water sources is shown in Tables 2 and 3. Table 2 shows that there were marked differences of the zooplankton density in different regions of the Dalianhu water sources. It can be seen from the principal component statistics table (Table 8) that, both of the eigenvalue of factor 1 and factor 2 are more than 1, and the contribution rate of two factors is up to 94.595, showing that the first two factors contain almost all of the data information and they could accurately reflect the water quality status of Dalianhu water sources.