ECET² Conference

1. ECET² Conference • Difficult Conversations in Service to Students

2. Do Now • Think about a difficult conversation you have had that went well and one that did not go well. What made the conversations effective or ineffective?

3. Session Outcomes

4. Agenda • Session Framing – Why This Topic? • Principles for Engaging in Difficult Conversations • Analysis of a Difficult Conversation • Application: Difficult Conversation Role Plays • Final Thoughts and Wrap-up

5. WHY THIS TOPIC???

6. Why This Topic? Have You Heard… • “I had his brother and sister, they didn’t have a clue either. That whole family is hopeless…” • “I have high expectations, but aren’t we setting our students up for failure when we say that they ALL should be college and career ready…” • “My third period students are gems, but there is just no hope for my fourth period. They don’t care about their education!” • “Have you met her mother? Nothing but excuses. She is a lost cause” • How many of you have heard your peers and colleagues make the above, or similar types of statements?

7. Why This Topic? (Animate) • "Leadership is a choice. It is the choice not to do nothing." • Not only do new instruction shifts and practices to support the demands of new standards need to happen, there is also a mindset shift that needs to happen. • It’s not a matter of SKILL vs WILL. We need teachers and leaders with the SKILL AND WILL. • Challenging negative beliefs,mindsets, and behaviors takes COURAGE! • One way to demonstrate COURAGE • is to engage in DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS, • Conversations that push your peers and colleagues to consider the impact that negative attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs have on students and a school community.

8. PRINCIPLES FOR ENGAGING IN DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

9. Principles for Engaging in Difficult Conversations • Time and Place—Choose an appropriate time and place to have the conversation. • Address Directly Address the person who prompted the conversation; don’t speak to someone else about it first. • Name The Situation/Issue —Start out by recounting what happened. • TruthAssumption—Don’t assume the person holds the truth; there can be one or more sides to the story • No Judgments—Don’t make assumptions about intentions; assume best intentions as a default. • Avoid the Blame Game—Don’t blame the person. • Inquire and Listen to Learn—Ask open-ended questions. Really listen. • Acknowledge Feelings—Make the person feel heard and understood. • Say What You Mean—Don’t rely on subtext. Start with what matters most. Be professional and direct. • Problem-Solve– Invent options together. • Watch Your NonVerbals– don’t let your actions undermine your words. Adapted from EPIC video Principles for Having Difficult Conversations, KIPP DC: KEY Academy (Charter), Washington, DC, and from Stone, Patton and Heen, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Penguin Books, 2010. 

10. PRINCIPLES IN ACTIONANALYSIS OF A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION

11. Difficult Conversation Practice: Roles & Responsibilities Initiator—the person to initiate the difficult conversation. Colleague—the person with whom the Initiator is having the difficult conversation. Observer—responsible for observing the interactions using the provided form and timekeeping. Role Plays will be done in trios and each person will assume each of the above roles once.

12. Difficult Conversations Role Play Protocol

13. Difficult Conversation Scenarios

14. Planning for Your Scenario

15. What’s Happening Now? • ROLE PLAY • SCENARIO 1

16. What’s Happening Now? • FEEDBACK FOR • SCENARIO 1

17. What’s Happening Now? • ROLE PLAY • SCENARIO 2

18. What’s Happening Now? • FEEDBACK FOR • SCENARIO 2

19. What’s Happening Now? • ROLE PLAY • SCENARIO 3

20. What’s Happening Now? • FEEDBACK FOR • SCENARIO 3

21. WRAP UP

22. Reflections • What are your take-aways from this session? • What will you use or apply in your school? What ACTION will you take

23. LEADERSHIP IS ABOUT ACTIONBE PROFESSIONALBE DIRECTBE COURAGEOUSYOUR VOICE MATTERS