Welcome to…

1. Welcome to… The Return of… Why Life Sucks In Association with Nothing By Kat-nip Aspartame Kitty-Sprite Twin (A.K.A. Kat)

2. The Returning Crew- and The newbies • Maricarmen Senosian • Brianna Wippel • Michael Padon • Adam Linder • And Brad, the InvestiGAYtor • (The Gay Guy) • John Merrill • Emily Bourdreaux • Katheranne Hanley • Katherine Jordan • Catherine Flores • Alejandra Narvaez • Rebecca Werner • Lauren Thomas

3. Quotes (Originals and otherwise) • I’ll try anything once- Michael Padon after being asked if he would steal a potato • F&^% you-Katherine Jordan after being asked “What is your name?” from Monty Python • Mom's got this etiquette thing about it being impolite to invite too many guys. "Stuff" happens, just “stuff” ...like losing your belt in your friend's couch- my e-mail to Katherine • It was a possuuuuuuuum! –John • Who put water in my water bottle? – Michael • Notice: went through my hair. Not over, not around, not at the side, THROUGH! - John

4. Teachers • Though many of our teachers are sweet (Many, not all) there are a few that should be honored • Mr. Richardson, for his record of saying “M’kay” 175 times in half an hour • Doesn’t that remind you of the counselor from South Park? • Mr. Westerman… definitely… never had his class, though  • M-O-N-D-A-Y S-U-C-K-S • The best teacher, who sits on his leather couch eating bacon and always saying, “We’re all gonna die!” Vote for your favorite teacher(s) for next month’s powerpoint today! (corny, I know)

5. John • Reminds us of the difference between the moon and a corn muffin • The shake of shame • The smart ingenuity of the table • Monty Python’s Flying Circus will be remembered every time I look at him “And now for something completely different!” HAH! You KNEW that was coming!

6. Emily • Walks around “like a chicken with its head cut off” or simply walks around aimlessly after school. Thanks, Brianna • She’s my TWIN! We’re fifteen! She reminded me that’s half-way to thirty… … yeah…and ten’s half-way to twenty. Tell you’re brother that, twin. • Anyway, she’s got a better voice than me. She’s in choir! • Mrs. Mendoza mistook me for her once… • Who knew vocal performance had guys? • Let’s sing Courage the Cowardly Dog! • La la la, la la la la…

7. Katherine “you know me, or i hope you know me so if you really know me, you'd know you don't know me” Basically, this statement is true. So, whatever…yeah… Fav thing to do: 1)Come home wet from a concert and tell us about the sweat fat guy who sat in front of her and John 2) Lose her belt at a friend’s house 3)Play with the band, listen to her brother’s band, or watch “Rock & Roll High school” 4) Zone out in the corner of the hallway

8. Not much to say here Still hates Latin and English Still has Lusby and Zoch Still called “shorty” Still our best voice of reason (but like we really need that anymore) But I found out something new abouther She likes country! And so does her twin! Ale’s her twin Smashes her pb&j sandwiches She got a container for her sandwiches Obsessive compulsive tortilla sandwich person Dreams to become a pilot (in military) Catherine

9. Cries during every movie: Shrek, Shrek 2, Purple Rain, Barney goes to Jail*, Barney on Death Row*, South Park the Movie**… Loves John Mayer NOT “LIKES”! LOVES!  Identifying quote: “I love my twin and her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!” And “It’s a penis!” Born the day after Christmas (she was a present under the tree!) Nickname: Ale, JM lover, (fill in the blank yourself) Catherine’s twin Listens to country, Backstreet Boys, N’sync, and a few unmentionables that other rap-lovin’ people wouldn’t appreciate mentioning Ale’s cool! She like the same stuff as me Alejandra

10. Rebecca • Poetry club participant • ……..can’t think of anything….. • AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! • I’m so sorry! I just can’t think of anything! I’m so so so very sorry, Becca! (cries) • Wait! She’s a great dancer! She’s kinda the motherly figure, but she’s really cool! • Don’t get her angry. That’s asking for a neck brace. • We care Becca. We really do. Anyone have some sandals she can borrow? • And Adam’s her closest friend. • Good luck with surgery Friday.

11. Lauren • Agreeable things that suck: • The online chemistry homework that’s slow and crappy, like the rest of our computer stuff • Stupid classmates, especially some of those who dope up on helium until their high squeaky voices and permeanently set to sound like Chip and Dale • When nalgene top straps break! • Surgery* • Classmate • Bandages that make me look like an Eskimo • Alejandra’s indentifying phrase: 'it’s a penis!'

12. To Michael: for his new insight in comic relief! To Maricarmen: For her uncanny funniness To Brianna: For her amazing likeness to Michael (strange) To Adam Linder: For his common sense and normality in an otherwise psychotic group of people And Brad! Brad’s Spies! Brad, The PI Brad Broy (Bad Boy, get it?) Brad, the Nice Guy Brad, the Cool Guy Brad, the guy He’s Brad… Salute to the newbies! The InvestiGAYtor

13. I’m Lazy… • Octopus Scares Friend Out of Seat – OSFOOS • The feces of a bat, and the blood of an ox = Batox • Ella Enchanted I can’t write anymore. This episode will end a TBC

14. And now… • The moment you’ve all been waiting for… The Theme of the Week… MONDAYS!

15. Mondays are Cursed! (For some of us) If you don’t believe me…

16. Drop your laptop Unable to unlock your homeroom door Stop a full block short of your locker Too cold weather Can’t remember what you were talking about Clumsy in speech Picture strange images Can’t write or think during class Your uniform isn’t ready Homework is written down wrong You can…

17. You’re tortured by your friends’ attempts to cheer you up • You realize that it’s not Tuesday • Every class, you realize it’s still a long way until the end of the day, and suddenly, you’re sitting at the lunch table, and you think it’s not so bad. • Then you go to English…

18. You can’t think right. • You had a lousy weekend • Summer was too fast • You’re brand new assignment book fell apart • Let’s skip skool! • Dang! Dean’s coming • “No, Ma’am. My other personality was just having a field day…What are you, stupid?! I’m not gonna say that to her! I’ll get expelled!” • “What? Oh, no, ma’am! The other voices were just talking to me…um, can I go now? They’re yelling’s giving me a headache.

19. ENDING THEME SONG~! • M-O-N-D-A-Y-S-U-C-K-S • Monday Sucks! Monday Sucks! Monday Monday Sucks! De ja vu, no? Verse 2 T-U-ES-D-A-Y S-U-C-K-S! (continue until tired or bored out of you mind)

20. NOW DIE! BADGERS!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!! BADGERS!!!