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Elegant Choice: Actions. VERBS. Sentences are stories. Williams suggests that writers think of sentences as stories with characters (subjects) and actions (verbs). Subject verb = doer action.
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Elegant Choice: Actions VERBS
Sentences are stories Williams suggests that writers think of sentences as stories with characters (subjects) and actions (verbs).
Subject verb = doer action Back in elementary school, we learned that the subject of the sentence was the doer of an action and the verb of a sentence was the action. Jane jumps. = subject verb (doer action)
Verbs But thethe action of the sentence doesn’t have to be the verb of a sentence. Often the action has been changed into a noun by adding ing, tion, ment, ence, and so on. Jane jumps. Jane’s jumping went on and on. The action is jump but the verb is went.
Elegant choice: Go back to elementary school Williams suggests we return to the idea of doers=subjects and important actions=verbs. Even complex academic prose will be more clear and more powerful if we make doers (what Williams calls characters) the subjects of our sentences and if we make actions the verbs of our sentences.
Principle Make the important actions the verbs of your sentence. The director completed a review of the data. Vs. The director reviewed the data.
First draft sentences often have actions as nouns rather than versb. Discovery is a noun rather than a verb. Resistance is a noun rather than a verb. Reaction is a noun rather than a verb. Flying is a noun rather than a verb. Repair is used as a noun instead of a verb
Nominalization In all the last instances, an action has been changed into a noun. This is called nomilization (“nounalization”). Notice when you have nominalizations in your sentences and see if you can revise the sentence so the noun becomes a verb
The outsourcing of high-tech work to Asia by corporations means the loss of jobs for many Americans. Any nomilazations?
Revise the sentences Change any actions (often found in nomilizations) to verbs The outsourcing of high-tech work to Asia by corporations means the loss of jobs for many Americans. The problem was the topic of our discussion
The results of making actions the verb of the sentence: Your sentences are more concrete and thus more powerful (nominalization results in abstract, vague nouns) Your sentences will be shorter and thus more direct since they will be free of unnecessary verbiage. You sentences will tell a more coherent story.
Or look for linking verbs Instead of circling nomilizations, you might try circling all your to be verbs (is, are, were, be was seems). They can produce short powerful, declarative sentences, but since linking verbs function as an = sign, often they aren’t the most elegant choice.
Circle linking verbs and revise There are thirty women who are registered for the door prize. Thirty women registered for the door prize. There is one more store I have to go to before I drive home. One crucial scene that appears in both films is Joan of Arc’s burning at the stake