Older Gay and Lesbian Couples

1. Older Gay and Lesbian Couples Gerontology 410 Jan /2008

2. Cultural Construction of Lesbianism • For older women in North American culture, a lesbian identity is seen as essentially abnormal. This is the contention of many conservative anti-homosexual political and religious campaigns • One could argue that lesbianism is more than sexual preference-is it a world view of women whose primary and sexual /affectional relationships are with other women. • Heterosexuals have a investment in maintaining relationships with the opposite sex because it partially defines their own self-identity

3. Gay and Lesbian Sexuality • What lenses ones views society through establishes our identity as sexual beings and partners (Matriarchy and Patriarchy) • Over history what it means to be homosexual has been quite varied. In England in the 16th Century women were not seen as sexual beings and therefore they were more free to express themselves to each other without suspicion or persecution. Other times and societies have looked upon same sex relationships with fear, ridicule, torture and death and imprisonment or with ascribed spiritual power and physical power such as the vestal virgins or the Amazons

4. Gay/Lesbian Sexuality • More recently, the so-called cultural war against gay men and lesbians seeks to define homosexuality as a behavioral choice. Older women may abandon calling themselves gay or lesbian in order to dissociate themselves form negative stereotypes and social stigma and may not want to be narrowly defined by these terms. Some may hide their relationships and limit their contact with only gay and lesbian people. Women in rural areas did not have the same opportunities to exercise their sexual preferences as those living in cities.

5. Gay and Lesbian sex • They may have relied on heterosexual friends for support and help and were engaged in small closely knit communities. • As lesbians age there appears to be three familial types emerge-long term committed relationships/companionships-social networks of friends and significant others with selected members of the biological family providing mutual support-special roles in the family of origin that reflect a unique social position.

6. Gay/Lesbian sex • This will often mean sharing homes, resources and other support systems • Estimates of older gay men and lesbians in the US runs at about 1.75-3.5 million. There is an inherent difficulty is studying this population so little is known about lifestyle. Because of social devaluation the expressions of intimacy in this population is not well described. Here we see the number of gay people living alone into old age increasing, and friendships may be more important than long term relationships

7. Gay/Lesbian sexuality • Approximately 500,000 lesbian women and gay men turn 50 on a yearly basis in the US. • It is noted that about 15-17% of the Gay/Lesbian population suffer from depression and gay males often internalize homophobia, which increases the use of alcohol and the rates of suicide. • Lesbian women are now documented as having higher rates of cancer, whereas gay males are more exposed to HIV and contaminated blood products • Only 1/6 of older American gay males use condoms

8. Gay/Lesbian sex • There are some key factors which instruct how relationships work with same gender couples: They are-high degrees of compatibility and understanding, emotional space and fidelity, sexual flexibility around sex roles. Women wanted freedom from gender role stereotyping, companionship and affection and enduring tenderness and concern. There is a heavy reliance on the circle of friends more so than in heterosexual couples. There are few role models in older relationships which have been studied and described. These lives tend to be less scripted and structured

9. Gay and Lesbian relationships • Unique stressors may affect the intimacy of older gay couples and these cluster around retirement, health, social support and a life long minority status. • They may be exposed to more intra-familial discrimination and institutional discrimination. • More research is required to follow cohorts of aging gay couples to determine how their sexual lives change within the context of a same sex lifestyle other than the expected biological changes common to gender.