Creating Your Legacy

1. Creating Your Legacy Conference for Women Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer April 13, 2013 Wendy Griffith, MSSW, LCSW, OSW-C Social Work Counselor

2. Outline • What is a legacy? • Why legacy? • Types of legacy • Ideas for legacy activities • Common barriers • Alternatives • Getting started • Topic ideas • Tips • Resources

3. What is a legacy? “Anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor” “A gift by will, especially of money or other personal property”

4. Why legacy? “There are certain things that are fundamental to human fulfillment. The essence of these needs is captured in the phrase ‘to live, to love, to learn , to leave a legacy’. The need to live is our physical need for such things as food, clothing, shelter, economical well-being, health. The need to love is our social need to relate to other people, to belong, to love, and to be loved. The need to learn is our mental need to develop and to grow. And the need to leave a legacy is our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence, and contribution.” Stephen R. Covey

5. Types of legacy Hunter, E., & Rowles, G. (2005). Leaving a legacy: Toward a typology. (19), 333.

6. Types of Legacy: Biological • Genetic • Passing on genes • Body • Donating organs • Donating body to research • Health

7. Types of Legacy: Material • Heirlooms • Material items • Written history • Possessions • Cars, furniture, household items, etc. • Symbols • Book or work of art • Establishing a building or scholarship

8. Types of Legacy: Values • Personal • Being kind, honest, helpful, etc. • Societal • Importance of education • Cultural • Value of independence, family, etc. • Religious • How to be a good ____

9. Ideas for Legacy Activities: Written • Letters/emails/cards • Can be given now or saved for a later time • Journal • Can be used to document the cancer journey, daily life, thoughts/feelings, etc. • Gratitude list • Poems • Ethical will

10. Ideas for Legacy Activities: Photo • Scrapbook • Can be a random compilation or might be focused on a vacation, period of time, particular person(s), etc. • Can be simple with just pictures on paper or decorated with embellishments • Photo frame or collage • Tangible or digital

11. Ideas for Legacy Activities: Audio/Visual • CD/playlist of songs • Favorite songs, songs that remind you of someone/something, etc. • Homemade recordings • Interview style or recording of a talent or skill (cooking, singing, dancing, etc.) • Can be done with a tape recorder, video camera, phone, computer, etc. • Professional video

12. Other Ideas for Legacy Activities • Recipe book • Quilt/blanket • Painting • Handprint/footprint • Heirlooms/keepsakes • Traditions/routines • Meaningful gift • Start an organization/scholarship/fund

13. To Honor a Loved One • Plant a tree/flower • Donate time/money to an organization • Participate in activities that raise awareness about your loved one’s disease/passion • Become involved in advocacy or educational organizations • Continue established traditions or create new ones

14. Common Barriers • Knowledge • Acuity of illness • Physical limitations • Cultural limitations • Cost • Time

15. Alternatives • Seek information • Get assistance • Medical teams • Loved ones • Do activities in small pieces • Use your strengths • Consult cultural/religious leaders • Use materials from around the house

16. Getting Started • Methodological approach • Do some brainstorming • Pick a person or activity to start with • Expand from there • Organic approach • Little to no planning • Maintain awareness and take opportunities as they come

17. Brainstorming • What is meaningful/important to you? • Who is meaningful/important to you? • What do you want those people remember about you? • What do you want others and future generations to know about you or past generations? • Was anything given to you that you want to pass on?

18. Topics • Relationships • how you met, memories of them, characteristics you admire, how you made it through hard times, the impact they have had on your life, advice about love and heartbreak • Childhood/Adulthood • places lived, jobs, schools, pets, friends, lessons learned, world events • Family history • events, relationships, occupations • Traditions • holidays, birthdays, special occasions, daily routines • Spirituality/Religion • beliefs, values, spiritual journey you’ve been on, what you’ve found to be true • Milestones • birthdays, weddings, babies, graduations, jobs, first of anything • Favorites • food, perfume, music, movies, clothing, hobby

19. More Topics • Lessons you’ve learned • Difficulties you’ve overcome • Turning points in your life • Accomplishments/achievements • Things you regret or would do differently • People you would like forgive • Words of wisdom/advice/guidance/appreciation • Hopes/dreams for yourself or others • Things you love, find humorous, find irritating, etc. • People/things you are grateful for or proud of • Decisions you’ve made and their outcome • Words of encouragement/empathy for others going through a difficult time

20. Tips • There is no right or wrong way to do this • It’s okay to take breaks • Maintain focus • Take notes whenever the mood strikes • Don’t get lost in details • Remember that anything coming from you and your heart is special

21. Resources • MD Anderson: Making Memories Last • http://www3.mdanderson.org/streams/FullVideoPlayer.cfm?xml=cfg%2FLegacy-Making-Memories-Last • www.zarpz.com • www.thelegacyproject.org • www.ethicalwill.com or www.life-legacies.com

22. Thoughts? Questions? Contact information: Wendy Griffith, MSSW, LCSW, OSW-C wegriffith@mdanderson.org 713-792-9948