Picasso at the Lapin Agile by Steve Martin

1. A Picasso at the Lapin Agileby Steve Martin P C S S S A bar in Paris, the Lapin Agile, circa 1904. A bartender, FREDDY, rubs a rag across the bar. On the wall is a three-by-four foot painting of sheep in a landscape. Upstage left is a door from the street. Upstage right is a door to a hall and toilet. We hear prerecorded accordion music of “Ta Rah Rah Boom Dee Re.” FREDDY is taking chairs off tables. GASTON (singing offstage): Ta raraboom re, tararaboomdee re, tararaboomdee re, tararaboomdee re. FREDDY (looks up, rhapsodic): There’s something in the air tonight. (Pause, FREDDY sneezes.) (A man about sixty, GASTON, enters.) GASTON (singing): Ta raraboomdee re, tararaboomdee re, tararaboomdee re, tararaboomdee re. FREDDY: Well, Gaston, you sound like you’re out of your bad mood. GASTON: Yes, damn it. Woke up this morning, good mood. Nothing I could do about it. Ta raraboomdee re, tararaboomdee re… Damn my memory, what’s the next lyric? FREDDY: I don’t know, but my guess is it’s “Ta raraboomdee re.” GASTON: Great song. I wonder who wrote it? FREDDY: Two East Indian guys. Ta Rah and Rah Boom Dee Re. GASTON (sits): I have to pee. FREDDY: Already? You haven’t had a drink yet. GASTON: One day, you’ll understand. S Sd S S L A C=Costumes, P=Props, A=Actor, S=Set, L=light, Sd=Sound