Grammar Humor

1. Grammar Humor

6. Test Your Grammar With Beyoncé And Friends: Determine if each of these song lyrics is grammatically correct.

7. Beyoncé is certainly not a boy. She is singing about what life might be like if she were. She is using the subjunctive mood correctly. INCORRECT: “If I was a boy…” • Subjunctive: The subjunctive is a grammatical mood found in many languages. Subjunctive forms of verbs are typically used to express various states of unreality such as wish, emotion, possibility, judgment, opinion, necessity, or action that has not yet occurred

8. Indicative: States a fact, asks a question, or expresses an opinion • Harvey made dinner last night. It was Lima Bean Surprise. • Would you pass the bowl of Lima Bean Surprise and ketchup? • I don’t like lima beans. Verb Moods

9. Imperative: Gives a command • Don’t ever invite Harvey over for dinner again! • Note: “You” is implied Verb Moods

10. Subjunctive: Makes a suggestion or requirement; states a wish or desire • I wish I were a lima bean enthusiast so that I can enjoy Harvey’s dinner. Verb Moods

11. And may the odds be ever in your favor! • I kept telling myself if I could only hold out until May, just May 8th, I would turn twelve and be able to sign up for the tesserae and get the precious grain and oil to feed us. Subjunctive from The Hunger Games

13. Eminem is telling a story about someone who has just one chance to be a star, but this is a misplaced modifier. The word “only” is modifying “get” when it should be placed before “one.” CORRECT: “You get only one shot.” • A misplaced modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that is improperly separated from the word it modifies / describes. Because of the separation, sentences with this error often sound awkward, ridiculous, or confusing. Furthermore, they can be downright illogical. • Example:

15. Annie Lennox is singing about the ingredients one needs to make sweet dreams, and she can’t help but agree with the list she has! She uses the subjective pronoun correctly. INCORRECT: “Whom am I to disagree?” • Who: subject; Whom: object • ___ made this decision? • ___ do you think we should support?

17. Curt Smith is right when he sings that all inhabitants of Earth want to reign supreme! Although he is describing many people, he is right to use the singular form of the verb. INCORRECT: “Everybody want to rule the world…” • She and her friends ___ at the fair. • The book or the pen ___ in the drawer.

19. Adam Duritz recounts an enchanting day spent with his friend Mr. Jones. Unfortunately, he uses the objective pronoun when he should be using the subjective. Subjective pronouns perform the action of the verb. CORRECT: “Mr. Jones and I tell each other fairy tales…” • I: subject; me: object • ___ was asked to take out the garbage. • My dad asked ___ to take out the garbage. • My dad asked my sister and ___ to take out the garbage.

21. Eric implores Sally to stay, but in doing so, he uses the wrong word. Sally is surely left wondering, “Eric, what is it you want me to lay down?” CORRECT: “Lie down, Sally. No need to leave so soon…” • Lay: Lay and lie are both present-tense verbs, but they don’t mean quite the same thing. Lay means to put or set something down, so if the subject is acting on an object, it’s “lay.” For example, I lay down the book. You, the subject, set down the book, the object. • Lie: Lie, on the other hand, is defined as, “to be, to stay or to assume rest in a horizontal position,” so the subject is the one doing the lying—I lie down to sleep—and not acting on an object. You, the subject, are setting yourself down. • InNow I lay me down to sleep, there is a subject (I) and an object (me). Even though the subject and object are one and the same, the object is still present in the sentence, so you must use lay. • In the past tense, “lay” becomes “laid” (Last week I laid down the law and told her it was inappropriate for her to pick her nose) and “lie” becomes “lay” (Yesterday she lay down for a nap that afternoon and picked her nose anyway). Yes, “lay” is also the past tense of “lie.”