Support needs of parents of gifted children

1. Support needs of parents of gifted children Adrian Fisher Anthoula Kapsalakis Romana Morda Belinda Irving School of Psychology Victoria University

2. About us • The group keeps growing, now: • A community psychologist researching sense of community and support • Two developmental psychologists researching aspects of giftedness • Three honours students • Three of the group are parents of gifted children • One was part of a support group • We have several visual spatial children

3. So, we have: • Professional interest and knowledge in the areas • Professional experience in assessing and counselling • Personal interest as parents • A variety of experiences with schools • A variety of experiences with VS • Some experience in a support group for parents of gifted children

4. Why we are here: • ‘This is how embarrassing it gets, but the kids were playing with the other peoples kids and the father of the other kids said “Oh, its such a relief to meet somebody who doesn’t think their kids are bloody gifted”. It’s really mortifying and it just made me feel a bit foolish, I mean, even coming tonight, I just felt a bit, is this really affected?’ (Focus group participant)

5. Literature Overview • Most parents anticipate raising ‘normal’ children and often feel anxious and worried when faced with raising an exceptionally unique child (Dettman & Colangelo, 1980). • Families with exceptional children are rarely equipped to cope with the added responsibilities, heavy obligations and the emotional and economic drain that result from having a child with high intellectual potential or learning difficulties (McMann & Oliver, 1988).

6. The needs of parents with children of high intellectual potential are more often than not, ignored, which further heightens the issues and challenges that parents of gifted children are regularly confronted with, and parents of children with average intelligence, can never truly appreciate (Alsop, 1997; Silverman, 1986; Keirouz, 1990).

7. Limited research that examines the challenges faced and the psychosocial needs of parents with children of high intellectual potential • Specific challenges include: • Negotiation of family roles and relationships • Parental self image • Family and relationships with schools and wider community

8. Social Support • Buffering – provides support to overcome immediate challenges and demands • Main effects – we develop the skills and resources to overcome later challenges.

9. Types of Support • Emotional • Instrumental • Informational • Material

10. Source of support • Family • Other parents at school, kinder, playgroup, shared activities • Friends • School • Service providers • Support groups – mothers groups or other

11. Types of Support Groups • Professional led groups – often an adjunct to therapy and used to monitor • Professional led 2 – non-therapeutic, but direction and content determined mostly by the facilitator (perhaps the SENG model) • Member led, professional content • Member led and determined – a number of the models around, including lists like EGPG and Oz-Gifted

12. Methods • Participants • 18 Parents, 14 mothers and 4 fathers • 11 children formally assessed, others in acceleration • All but one families intact • Data Collection • 13 interviews • 2 focus groups • Phenomenological theme analysis

13. Results • Education, education system • Negative stories • Patronised • Not believed • New teacher each year • Crying has been effective • Children often assessed for behavioural problems • School shopping • External providers – limited and expensive

14. Professionals and service providers • Cost and availability • Suitability for the location • Talked down to • Assumptions made about the children or the parents

15. Children • Early development • Asynchronous development • Hidden development – or parents not knowing the difference • Boredom at school and behavioural issues • Motivation – either way • Emotional instability • Various issues with peers

16. Parental Stressors • Labelling of the child and stereotyping (resistance to use of the term gifted for their children) • Pushed by the child • Not able to discuss the child and parenting with others • Balanced family life/providing stimulation • Child’s future • Expense – time and money

17. Sources of Support • “No where” • “my support…no-one really…myself” • Family • Many a long way from families so no opportunities • Some families more interfering than supportive • Many families do not understand • Schools • “We don’t exist”

18. Experiences of support • Some playgroup, in another state • Support group when first identified • Group ceased after about 1 year • Other support group involvement • Good to just talk to others • Too many professional presenters

19. Support groups ideas • Resistance to forming a group • Time • Effectiveness • Cost • Focus and style

20. Would like: • Phone numbers • A school mediation service • Website with lots of information, and reviews (schools, principals, services) • Email list • Chance to bring the children together with others like them • A good bottle of red and someone to have a cry with

21. Contact: • Adrian Fisher School of Psychology Victoria University – Footscray Park PO Box 14428 Melbourne VIC 8001 03-9919-5221 adrian.fisher@vu.edu.au