Emotions: Feeling, thinking, and communicating

1. Emotions:Feeling, thinking, and communicating Chapter topics • What are Emotions? • Influences on Emotional Expression • Guidelines for Expressing Emotions • Managing Difficult Emotions

2. What Are Emotions? • Physiological Factors • Strong emotions are coupled with strong physiological factors • Physical components of fear: • Increased heart rate • Rise in blood pressure • Increase in adrenaline secretions • Elevated blood sugar • A slowing of the digestive system

3. What are Emotions? • Nonverbal Reactions • Feelings are often apparent by observable reactions • Appearance Changes • Blushing, sweating, etc • Behavioral Changes • Facial expression • Posture • Gestures • Different vocal tone or rate

4. What are Emotions? • Cognitive Interpretations • The mind plays an important role in determining emotional states • The symptoms of fear discussed earlier are similar to those of excitement, joy and other emotions • If you were to monitor someone having a strong emotional reaction, you would have a hard time ascertaining which emotion the person was experiencing

5. What are Emotions? • Verbal Expression • Words can be required to discover the depth or intensity of the emotion • At times we can’t rely on perceptiveness to be sure a message is communicated • Is a new acquaintance mistaking your friendlessness as a come-on? • Is a lover’s unenthusiastic response a sign of boredom with you, or something less personal?

6. Influences on Emotional Expression • Personality • There is a clear relationship between personality and the way we experience and express emotions • Extroverts tend to report more positive emotions • Neurotic individuals tend to report more negative emotions • Personality doesn’t have to govern your communication satisfaction

7. Influences on Emotional Expression • Culture • A significant factor that influences emotional expression in different cultures is whether that culture is: • Individualistic (United States and Canada) • These cultures feel comfortable revealing their emotions to people with whom they are close • Collectivistic (Japan and India) • These cultures prize harmony and discourage expressions of negative emotions which may upset relationships

8. Influences on Emotional Expression • Gender • Biological sex is the best predictor of the ability to detect/interpret emotional expression • Research suggests that there is some truth to the unexpressive male • In one study, females were 10-15% more accurate in remembering emotional images • People in close relationships are likely to experience/express more emotions than those who are not

9. Influences on Emotional Expression • Social Conventions • The unwritten rules of communication discourage the direct expression of emotion • How many genuine emotional expressions do youor we see in daily life? • Social rules even discourage too much expression of positive feelings • Emotion Labor • Managing or even suppressing emotions is both appropriate and necessary

10. Influences on Emotional Expression • Fear of Self-Disclosure • In a society that discourages the expression of emotions, revealing them can seem risky • Emotional Contagion • The process by which emotions are transferred from one person to another • Is it possible to catch someone’s mood? • Emotions become more infectious with prolonged contact

11. Guidelines for Expressing Emotion • There is not a universal rule for expression of emotion • Personality, culture, gender, play a part • The key is to express emotion constructively • Think about a time when you expressed your emotion clearly, then wish you hadn’t. • Those who control their feelings and deny distress are more likely to get a host of ailments, including cancer and heart disease

12. Guidelines for Expressing Emotion • Recognize Your Feelings • Beyond being aware, also try to identify • Recognize the difference between feeling, talking and acting • Expand your emotional vocabulary • Share multiple feelings • You might often express anger but overlook confusion, disappointment or frustration

13. Guidelines for Expressing Emotion • Consider When and Where to Express Your Feelings • Give yourself time to discover the gravity of the emotion before full expression • Accept responsibility for your feelings • Instead of saying: • “You’re making me angry!” try “I’m getting angry.” • “You hurt my feelings,” say “I feel hurt when you do that.”

14. Guidelines for Expressing Emotion • Be Mindful of the Communication Channel • Mediated Channels • Email • Instant Message • SMS Message • Is it appropriate to end a relationship via voicemail? • What is the result of using CAPITAL LETTERS in an instant message or email?

15. Managing Difficult Emotions • Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions • Facilitative Emotions • Are emotions which contribute to effective functioning • Debilitative Emotions • Are emotions which detract from effective functioning • Intensity • Anger or irritation may be beneficial • Rage usually makes matters worse

16. Managing Difficult Emotions • Sources of Debilitative Emotions • Our genetic makeup • Emotional memory • Harmless events can trigger debilitative feelings • Self-talk

17. Managing Difficult Emotions • Self-Talk • Interpretations people make of an event, during the process of self-talk that determine their feelings EventThoughtFeeling Being called names “I’ve done something wrong.” hurt, upset Being called names “My friend must be sick.” concern, sympathy

18. Managing Difficult Emotions • Irrational Thinking • The Fallacies • The Fallacy of Perfection • The belief that a worthwhile communication should be able to handle every situation • The Fallacy of Approval • That it is vital to gain the approval of virtually every person

19. Managing Difficult Emotions • Irrational Thinking • The Fallacy of Shoulds • The inability to distinguish between what is and what should be • The Fallacy of Overgeneralization • Basing a decision on limited information • When we exaggerate shortcomings • The Fallacy of Causation • The irrational belief that emotions are caused by others rather than by one’s own self-talk

20. Managing Difficult Emotions • Irrational Thinking • The Fallacy of Helplessness • Satisfaction in life is determined by forces beyond your control • The Fallacy of Catastrophic Expectations • The assumption that if something bad can happen, then it is going to happen

21. Managing Difficult Emotions • Minimizing Debilitative Emotions • Monitor your emotional reactions • Note the activating event • Record your self-talk • Reappraise your irrational beliefs • Replace self-defeating self-talk with more constructive thinking

22. Chapter Review • What are Emotions? • Influences on Emotional Expression • Guidelines for Expressing Emotions • Managing Difficult Emotions