“ How are we going to celebrate when…… ” “ Who should we call when….. ” “ Ten years from now…. ”

1. Positive Predicting “How are we going to celebrate when……” “Who should we call when…..” “Ten years from now….” “Sure, there will be bumps along the road. It won’t always be easy…but you’ll do it. It’s in you!” Neg side

2. The other side of positive thinking… “Positive thinking fools our minds into perceiving that we’ve already attained our goal, slackening our readiness to pursue it.” “Positive thinking is pleasurable, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for us. Like so much in life, attaining goals requires a balanced and moderate approach, neither dwelling on the downsides nor a forced jumping for joy.” Gabrielle Oettingen, NY Times Article Kids at hope

3. Three Universal Truths Children succeed when they are surrounded by adults who believe they can succeed no exceptions. Children succeed when they have meaningful and sustainable relationships with caring adults. Children succeed when they can articulate their future in four domains rather than one: Home and Family; Education and Career; Community and Service; and Hobbies and Recreation. KidsatHope.com

4. Future Oriented Questions • Do you think you’ll attend a trade school, junior college • or four year school? • What professions are you leaning towards? • Do you think you’ll travel a lot when you’re older? • Where? • 4. Big family or small? Will you help your kids with their • homework? • 5. Would you prefer to live in a big city or small town? • 6. What kind of hobbies will you have when you’re older? • 7. Will you be generous, and give your time and money • to those in need? Biz cards

5. Create business cards for your students. Have them network! Thompson & Associates Master Art Design & Graphics Kenneth Thompson, President “Art from the heart!” kenart@Thomp.com Tel/Fax: 887-345-8767 Website: www.Kart.com diploma

7. College Bound Kids! Joshua Future Engineer Joshua Brown Mary anec

8. Assumptions (or lack thereof)… …Does assume that change is inevitable, not uncertain.

9. The 2015 Betty Rarely overheats! No backfiring! Slicker design! More popular! “There’s no such thing as ‘same old me.’” We get better every day!” snowball

10. The Melting Snowball “See your fears and worries about (pending issue/loss/transition) as a big snowball in the middle of your chest, and understand that as each day goes by, it’s going to melt a little. It may stay forever. But it will become so small that you can build a great life aroundit.” poker

11. Poker & Life Life is like a game of poker. Even if you’re dealt a bad hand, you can still win the game…. “Even if you’re dealt a bad hand… You can still play in the band!” >tickets

12. Learning is my ticket to a great life! You can’t get in anywhere …without a ticket

13. Rapid Fire Infusing Boom! Provides….. Boom! Boom! Boom! Sudden BURSTS of Positivity! Tell a joke, play music, show a film clip, have them recall a great moment or day, tell them how much you enjoy being part of their lives, praise, feed, read something inspirational. Commit a deliberate act of kindness Other ideas?__________________________________________________

14. Strength-Based Practice • Emerging approach to helping people • that is more positive and hope-inspiring. • Powerful combination of the strength- • building model and solution-focused • communication.

15. Solution-Focused Questions The Language of Hope and Possibility! Explorative Historical: How many kids have been, or are, in similar situations? How many succeeded? So why can’t you? What steps did they take to succeed? ? Has any other assignment worried you like this one? Qualifiers and Partial Statements: “I hate this class!” > “So you’re pretty upset with this class right now.” “My parents fight.” “So sometimes your parents argue.” “Nothing ever goes my way.” “Sometimes it seems nothing goes right, eh?” Visit:www.bobbertolino.com

16. Past Tense: “I’m stupid.” “So you haven’t been feeling real smart, lately?” When and Will: “I’ll never pass that test.” “When you do, what will it feel like?” Scaling Questions: “On a scale of one-to-ten, ten being the highest probability of accomplishing this, what number do you think you’re at now? What number will it be in 3 months? Identifying In-Between Change: “What will be the first sign that you’ve turned the corner?”

17. Amplifying Change using Speculation: “Why were you able to change in such a great way? It’s okay if you’re not sure. But I have to wonder if it’s because you’re getting older and more mature and are making better decisions, or if it’s related to doing better in school can open doors for you? I don’t know, but people really see you making an effort!” Tip: It’s better to speculate about things that are unlikely To be rejected by the youth. Changing Perspective Question:“How come you’re not doing worse?” Self esteem..

18. Self-Esteem Building To help kids enhance low self esteem, show a genuine interest in their interests/strengths & provide tasks and activities that offer a: Universal Opportunity for Individual Success • Academic tasks they understand and can accomplish • Special chores and/or work/vocational opportunities • Games, often of chance, they can all win • Community Projects • Technological endeavors • Match with a mentor • Sports and other after-school groups/activities • Helping or mentoring younger kids or others D vs. U

19. SB Focus:Doing vs. Understanding trumpet

20. Every kid needs his/her own special niche! Trumpet Success Hang accomplishments, create and maintain a scrapbook, send postcards home, etc. p0ostcards

21. Postcard Exercise • Please write a postcard to your parent(s), relative or a friend: • “Dear _________________________, • Your son, daughter, cousin, friend (name____________) • recently attended a two-day training I conducted in • Danvers, MA. The training topic was • How To Use a Positive, Strength-Based Approach with • At-Risk Students.(Your name________) was a fabulous • attendee. He/she was very invested in the topic and an active • participant. ______’s strong passion for at-risk kids was • evident throughout. I was honored to work with him/her. • Warm regards, • Charlie Appelstein, MSW Explos child

22. Helping Inflexible/Explosive Children & Youth • Characteristics of Such Kids: • Display deficits in frustration tolerance • Generally do not respond well to consequences and • rewards (i.e. traditional motivational approaches) • Symptoms are thought to emanate more from neuro- • logical as opposed to psychological factors • Prone to stubborn, inflexible, explosive outbursts • Often display genuine remorse after an episode Most of this material is from The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, Ph.D.

23. How to Help: • Create user-friendly environments • Determine which behaviors need to be addressed and how best to respond. Categorize behaviors and responses into one of three boxes: • A = Safety • B = Room for compromise & negotiation • C = Ignore • As kids meltdown and approach vapor lock, immediately distract,empathize, and offer aid. Help them to downshift into a calmer state. Such kids are often helped by learning how to negotiate and compromise when agitated.

24. The Baskets A A = Non-negotiable, often a safety concern. B = Room for compromise and negotiation C = Ignore B C

25. The Truth about Individualized Plans “No fair! He’s getting a head start!” Common Perception (Cognitive distortion)

26. Individualized PlansWhat is Real! Diff talk

27. The Differences Talk millimeter

28. SB practice does not assume that ownership of guilt is somehow automatically curative. The MillimeterAcknowledgement “Do you think it’s slightly possible that perhaps, maybe….” “Could, maybe, 1% of this have something do with…” Hello good

29. Honor Hellos and Goodbyes! You can’t say hello until you first say goodbye Examples: Goodbye to: Living w/family of origin Hello to: Foster or adoptive care Goodbye to: Loss of idealized childhood Hello to: What was real, the good that can remembered, and life ahead. Grief stages

30. Stages of Grief: Shock & Denial Anger Sadness Acceptance Seeing

31. Seeing is Believing (Unconditional support) vs. Believing is Seeing (Standard behavior management) ..which produces Optimism – which feeds possibility, and motivates coping and adaptive behavior, even in the face of difficult odds

32. Seeing is BELIEVING! “You D’a man! We’re excited that you’re here!” NOT: Believing is Seeing! “We’ll treat you nicely once you put that slingshot down, lose some weight, and get rid of that ridiculous hat!”

33. Think about committing a: Think about performing a: Deliberate Act of Kindness

34. Working with Families Key Principles, Terms and Concepts “The more the relationship between families and the school is a real partnership, the more student achievement increases. When schools engage families in ways that are linked to improving learning, students make greater gains. When families are engaged in positive ways, rather than labeled as problems, schools can be transformed from places where only certain students prosper to one where all children do well.” From Beyond the Bake Sale *

35. Working with Families Key Principles, Terms and Concepts • The Continuum of Parental Involvement • Engagement • Participation • Empowerment • Graduation * Engage brownies

36. Engage! “I’ll give you five buck for that brownie!” Fam work principles

37. Staff and parents form: Interlocking partnerships Staff view parents as: Collaborators Family-friendly work is: Cultural rather than Compartmental cueing

38. Assumptions (or lack thereof)… Strength-based practice does not assumeLARGE problems require LARGE efforts for solutions.

39. Cues to Use Coping Thoughts One-Line Raps Produce catchy mantras that can create neuropathways The brain is designed to change in response to patterned, repetitive stimulation. Key: Use Rhythm, Repetition, Rhyming, and Humor Proven winners: “NBD (No big deal) …easier than one, two, three!” “When you get mad, don’t do bad, just talk or walk..” “Let it go, Joe! Just stay cool no need to blow.” “Don’t move all over the place, sit and learn with a happy face.” mulford . Stop and

40. Stop and think… Don’t be a dink! Stop and listen… Cause you don’t know what you’re missin’! Don’t be silly Cover your willy! If you

41. If you hurt number one… It’s never better when you’re done.. Boot c

42. I can make it if I choose Only I can make me lose! I can make it if I choose Time to kick the drugs and booze! If you lose hope Don’t do dope! If it is to be, it’s up to me! music

43. From Musicophelia by Oliver Sacks William James in 1890 wrote: “Human’s have a susceptibility to music.” Active participation in music creates a bond between the participants. “While music can calm us, animate us, comfort us, thrill us, or serve to organize and synchronize us at work or play – it may be especially powerful and have great therapeutic potential.”

44. I can, I will… I gotta chill And when I do It’s quite a thrill!

45. Let it go, Joe Let it go, Joe Just stay cool No need to blow

46. Read a word… Read a letter Every step… makes it better! Write a letter… Write a story Every sentence… brings me glory! I can do it...I can do it Getting along

47. Getting along keeps me strong Getting along is my favorite song To make a friend you gotta treat kids nice From me to you here’s some advice… Give kids their space It’s their place Don’t poke it’s not a joke Don’t make the noise if it annoys Take turns when you talk If you don’t, the kids will walk classification

48. The Classification Song There are eight levels of classification… Yeah, eight! There are eight levels of classification… Really eight! We classify living things into groups, so that organisms are easier to study. We classify things…into groups…..Into Groups (Faster) Taxonomy is the science of classification! …Classification! (Slower) Taxonomy is the s-c-i-e-n-c-e of classification (Slow) And Linnaeus invented a naming system.. called binomial nomenclature. (Still slow) And each organism is given a two-part name (slowly) A two-part name (Fast) The genus is the first part which is capitalized! - Hey it’s Capitalized Never give up

49. Never Give Up The pain inside just multiplies Behind closed doors, a young boy cries The monster roars, innocence dies Emotions flare, hate fills his eyes He hears a voice: Never give up, never lose hope. Fight through the pain, learn to cope “Can’t do it,” he screams “Got no one, got no dreams. Tortured nights are my companion. Pain is deep as the Grand Canyon.” The voice gets louder: Never give up, never lose hope. Fight through the pain, learn to cope You are amazing, a gift to the world. Let your awesomeness unfurl. “I don’t know if I can? Sometimes I feel like a shell of a man. Even when I do smile and laugh. Hiding scars from broken glass. Colors to me, are far too grey. I’ve struggled so hard to find my way. And the voice is piercing! Never give up, never lose hope. Fight through the pain, learn to cope You are amazing, a gift to the world. Let your awesomeness unfurl. Never give up, never give up…. He hears these words and starts to grin Cause they’re coming from within!!!! Don’t y

50. Don’t yell Gently t-e-l-l Don’t yell Gently t-e-l-l As they get louder, you get quiet C’mon mom, it’s time to try it! Hey mom, hey dad, your kid’s aren’t a rental You’ve got to know ‘em developmental