Clear and Concise Sentences

1. Clear and Concise Sentences Problems

2. Wordiness: redundancies needless repetition roundabout phrases

3. Weak subjects and verbs: needless to be verbs nominalizations unnecessary initial it and there unnecessary passive voice

4. Redundancies We left for Los Angeles at 10:00 p.m. at night. My brother is a man who always pays his bills. Good baseball players know the basic fundamentals of the game.

5. Needless Repetition My favorite picture is a picture of our house in Newport Beach. When my sister called me on the telephone at two o�clock this morning, I told her two o�clock in the morning was too early in the morning for her to call on the telephone.

6. Roundabout Phrases at all times (always); at the present time (now); at this point in time (now); on many occasions (often); in this modern day and age (today); because of the fact that (because); due to the fact that (because or since); for the purpose of (for); until such time as ___ in spite of fact that (although, even though); make a reference to (refer).

7. Needless to be verbs She is the one who is responsible for your damaged car. His behavior was a demonstration of my point. Sergio and Rene were the winners of the $10,000 raffle.

8. Nominalizations Mario�s realization of his betrayal by his business partner occurred when he saw the bank statement. Shelly�s request was that we conduct an examination of the finances of the city council members.

9. unnecessary initial it and there There is a belief held by many people that we should lower taxes. It is imperative that we leave in five minutes if we want to arrive on time.

10. unnecessary passive voice The car was driven two hundred miles by Mr. Ogilvey before he was found by the police.