Caring for the carer—session one

1. Caring for the carer—session one Information and effective communication

2. Disclaimer: This material is published by Queensland Health and Mater Misericordiae Health Services Brisbane Limited (Mater) with the intention of providing information of interest. It is not intended to be a substitute for specific professional or clinical advice. Information may contain or summarise the views of others, and not necessarily reflect the view of Queensland Health or Mater. Although Queensland Health and Mater endeavour to publish accurate information, there is no guarantee that this information is up-to-date, complete or correct, and it must not be relied upon without verification from an authoritative source. Queensland Health and Mater do not accept any liability incurred by use of or reliance on this information.

3. Information

4. Fear of the unknown

5. Fear of the unknown “Imagining the worst is more frightening than knowing what might happen. Knowing the facts makes me much less afraid.” (Taking Time—National Cancer Institute)

6. Get information Find out about • the type of cancer • treatment • prognosis—cure or control? • treatment side-effects • medication side-effects.

7. Sources of information • healthcare team • Internet • cancer organisations • libraries • other people. Caution: ensure information is from credible source

8. Be involved Carer: “It helped me because I felt I knew as much as (L) and therefore enabled me to cope with the issues at the same time as (L) was trying to cope with the issues. It wasn’t done second hand. I could see the emotions she was going through from the outside. I knew why. It must be an awful lot more difficult for a couple if the carer is having to adjust and discover what the partner is going through without the full picture” (Thomas et al 2001)

9. Steps to being involved • get permission to be involved from your loved one or friend • establish what information they are comfortable sharing with you • ask the doctor if they are happy to invite you in and include you in discussions • respect your loved one’s right to keep their medical information private and confidential • make an appointment with the doctor if you have concerns.

10. Getting information from your doctor • have your questions ready • ask for a longer appointment • write down the answers or tape record your conversation • request a copy of the treatment plan • ask the doctor to explain again if you don’t understand. That is part of their job • ask for printed material about your loved ones cancer type or type of treatment.

11. What about the future?

12. Tips for dealing with uncertainty and fear • get information • focus on the things that really matter • share your feelings • stay positive • speak to a professional • consider joining a support group.

13. Effective communication

14. Why is communication so important?

15. How do we communicate?

16. How do we communicate?

17. How do we communicate?

18. How do we communicate?

19. How do we communicate?

20. How do we communicate?

21. How do we communicate?

22. Why do we communicate? • inform • clarify • to share feelings • negate • to get other people to do things • to get information • express our needs and wants • to persuade • social interaction.

23. Is communication ever difficult?

24. Improving communication skills Can you improve your communication?

25. Setting the scene S—sit square O—open posture L—lean forward E—eye contact R—be relaxed.

26. Caring communication • caring • being there • sharing your feelings.

27. Caring communication How can I tell if someone wants to talk about their illness or not?

28. Caring communication Can I say the wrong thing?

29. Listening It is not what you say but how well you listen

30. Listening How do we show we are listening well?

31. Silences How do we deal with silences?

32. Communicating with friends and family What factors affect communication in families?

33. Improving family communication • information • honesty • expectations • appreciation.

34. Improving family communication • family meetings • maintain routine • list all the jobs • delegate.

35. Communicating with health professionals • with permission of patient • recommend that you attend appointments.

36. Communicating with health professionals • check that you have heard correctly • provide feedback • use question checklist if needed.

37. Communication • Practicing your ability to communicate and listen to family, friends and hospital staff can assist in ensuring that you understand and are understood.