Choice Theory & Reality Therapy In Action Dr. Ali Sahebi (Ph.D) March 2010

1. Choice Theory & Reality Therapy In Action • Dr. Ali Sahebi (Ph.D) • March 2010

2. EMPHASIS • Choice • Responsibility • Evaluation

3. BEHAVIOUR • We choose our behaviours to satisfy our needs at any given time • A person’s behaviour at any given time is their best effort to meet their needs • Behaviour is holistic/total – acting- thinking – feeling – physiology, and most of these are choices

4. Behaviour contd./… • Originates from within and not form some external stimuli • Emphasis on choice of and responsibility for our behaviour

5. TOTAL BEHAVIOUR (holistic) • Acting • Thinking • Feeling • Physiology • Most of them are choices

6. NEEDS • Survival • Belonging and Love • Power • Freedom • Fun • A person’s behaviour at any given time is their best effort to meet theirneeds

7. Survival • To survive as individuals and as a species • Physical needs for food, water, air, safety, shelter, • Need for a sense of security in respect of the on-going provision of basic needs

8. Love and Belonging • Need to love and care for others • To believe that we are loved and cared for • Unsatisfactory or non-existent ‘connections’ with people are the major source of all almost all long-term human problems (Glasser ,1998) • Whatever the presenting problem disconnectedness according to Glasser will be the underlying cause or issue

9. Power/Self-Worth • Need for a sense of empowerment, worthiness, self-efficacy and achievement • Need to be able and capable • It implies a sense of achievement, accomplishment, pride, importance and self-esteem

10. Freedom • Need for • Independence and autonomy • The ability to make choices • To express oneself freely • Freedom • Internal blocks to freedom • External blocks to freedom

11. Fun • The desire to enjoy school (a job) • To have a sense of humour • To engage in a hobby • To have a feeling of excitement about a work project or a leisure time activity • Fun is the internal payoff for learning • Important in relationships

12. NEEDS - WANTS • Needs genetic instructions’ are common to all people • Wants are the way we meet our needs • If a person’s behaviour is their best way of meeting their needs • What needs is the behaviour meeting? • Are there more effective ways of meeting the need? • Can we engage in a collaborative effort to find better ways of meeting this need?

13. SPECIFIC WANTS • Human beings develop specific wants • Each person, as they grow and interacting with family and culture develop specific and unique wants as to how needs are to be met • We have wants related to each need • These are analogous to pictures in that each one is specific

14. Responsibility • By helping clients to take responsibility for their behavioural choices rather than accepting that they are victims of their own impulses, past history, other people or present circumstances they are able to make dramatic chances. • We are influenced by the past but not controlled by it.

15. Emphasis • An effort to teach, encourage and help clients to take responsibility for their behaviour • Personal responsibility is at the heart of therapeutic change

16. OUR QUALITY WORLD • The people we want to be with • The things we most want to own or experience • The ideas or systems of beliefs that govern our behaviour • Our assumptions

17. PICTURE ALBUM • Contains pictures that meet a specific need • Love • Are the pictures realistic? • Do they need to be changed? • Am I prepared to change them? • In conflict, compromise is necessary.

18. PICTURE ALBUMS • We control our mental images or pictures • Put them in, exchange them or throw them out • We always have the option of choosing some more positive behaviour

19. Contd./… • This extensive collection of pictures or wants is called a ‘mental picture album (Glasser, 1984) and the ‘quality world’ (Glasser, 1990)

20. Quality World • What does it mean when we change what is in our quality world? • Persons • Situations • Believes

21. BELIEF SYSTEM • Much of my behaviour is a response to external signals • Other people can control how I think, feel and act • I have a right to punish others who do not do what I want them to do

22. SUCCESS IDENTITY • Effective and need fulfilling behaviour • Able to give and receive love • Experience a sense of self worth • Involved with others in a caring way • Meet their needs in ways that are not at the expense of others

23. FAILURE IDENTITY • See themselves as unloved, unwanted, rejected • Unable to become intimately involved with others • Unable to make and stick with commitments • Are generally helpless

24. THEORY • Discounts the concept of mental illness • Focuses on moral issues • Past is largely ignored in favour of the present • Does not recognise transference • Unconscious is largely ignored

25. CHOICES - Depression • Continue to depress yourself • Change what you are doing to get what you want • Change what you want • Change both what you want and what you are doing to get what you want

26. We can even choose misery • Why is depression a choice? • Why would a person choose to be depressed? • What are the advantages/gains of being depressed? • We should always look at secondary gains in relation to choice

27. Reasons for choosing misery • To keep angering under control • To attract help • To excuse not taking action • To control others • Never let anyone control you by the pain and misery (s)he chooses for themselves

28. Counselling - School • For a successful counselling relationship (therapeutic alliance) the counsellor should be in the client’s quality world • School should be in the client’s quality world • We can change what is in our quality world, put new persons/things in and take persons/things that are already there out.

29. Goals of Reality Therapy • Teach choice theory for understanding behaviour • Raise awareness of choosing misery • Increase client’s sense of responsibility • Assist clients to have realistic pictures in their albums to meet their needs • Assist in implementing new behaviours

30. Practice of Reality Therapy • Building an appropriate relationship • Evaluate present behaviour • Look at possible alternatives for getting what the client wants out of life • Selecting alternative for reaching goals • Develop a behavioural plan • Not giving up

31. Build Relationship Listen for themes Summarise and focus Allow consequences Allow silence Show empathy Be ethical Create anticipation and communicate hope • Use attending behaviours • Suspend judgement • Do the unexpected • Use humour • Establish boundaries • Share self • Listen for metaphors

32. Contd./… Don’t instil fear Don’t give up easily • Don’t argue • Don’t boss manage • Don’t criticise or coerce • Don’t demean • Don’t encourage excuses

33. WDEP SYSTEM • Discuss wants and perceptions • Discuss directions and doings • Self evaluation • Formulate a plan of action

34. Discuss Wants & Perception • Wants Questions • Ask clients what they want? • Ask what they want to avoid? • Ask what they want regarding needs? • Ask who they want to be? • Ask how they see (perceive) their control, themselves and the others?

35. Discussion of Direction • Ask Clients About Their Overall Direction. • Where is the accumulation of your current choices taking you? • Are you headed in a direction where you want to be in a month, a year, 2 years? • As Glasser stated, “ Ask client…about the direction they would like to take their lives?

36. Self Evaluation • Self Evaluation is the heart, the essence, the most important component, the quintessential segment of the delivery system. • Glasser (1972) described SE as “the basis for Change” • “If there is a specific time in Reality Therapy when people begin to change, it is when the client evaluates what he or she is doing and begins to answer the question, “Is it helping?”

37. Self Evaluation contd./… • People do not change until they decide that what they are doing does not help them accomplish what they want (Glasser, 1980). • Self Evaluation is the keystone in the arch of procedure. It holds the other together, and if it is to removed, the arch crumbles (Wubbolding, 1990, 1991)

38. Self-evaluation Questions • Self-evaluation Questions • Is your overall behaviour taking you where you want to go? • Is this specific action to your best advantage? • Is what you tell yourself really helping you? • Is what you want realistically attainable?

39. Plan of Action • Ask Clients to make plans to more effectively fulfill their wants and needs without infringing on the rights of others to do the same

40. Plan of Action • Successful planning is SMART: • S: Simple, small and Specific • M: Measurable • A: Aligned with wants • R: Realistic (reasonable and responsible) • T: Time Framed • ** Written in the present tense as if it has already occurred

41. Plan of Action Questions • Plan of Action Questions • What else can you Do? • What (action) steps will you need to accomplish your goal? • What resources do you need? • What knowledge or skills you need to accomplish this goal? • How will you know if the plan is successful?

42. Questions • What do you want? • What are you doing? • Is what you are doing getting you what you want? • If not are there other thing you could do? • Which of these would you like to try first? • When?

43. APPROACH • Let’s begin by talking about what you have been doing to solve the problem • In what way is it helping? • Is your behaviour in touch with reality? • Is what you are doing the responsible thing to do? • Is your behaviour effective? • If your behaviour is not getting you what you want, what would you like to do differently? • Will we make a plan?

44. CENTRAL TAKS • To assist clients in evaluating their behaviour in the context of meeting their needs. • What do you really want? • Is what you are doing getting you what you really want? • Are there other better ways of getting what you want? • What are some of these other ways?

45. Format • What did you do? • What is our agreement about that • What were you supposed to do? • What are you going to do next time? • Do you want to write out the plan or will I do it for you • Let’s check tomorrow (next week) on the plan

46. Basic Steps • Establish a relationship • Identify the problem • Evaluate present behaviour • Develop a plan that will help to resolve the problem • Obtain commitment for the plan • Structure for evaluation of the plan

47. DEVELOPING AN ACTION PLAN • The ‘action stage’ of the ‘Egan Model’ will be helpful here: • Goal setting and scenario setting • Balance sheet • Brainstorming and selection • Shaping a plan • Forced field analysis

48. MEETING NEEDS

49. MEETING NEEDS

50. Contribution • Short-term therapy • Clients self-evaluation and plan • People are responsible for who they are and who they are becoming • Clients sense of control