Do Now

1. Wednesday, October 16, 2013 Personal Narrative Day 8: "Sentence Swagger" Do Now Directions: Look at the picture below and imagine you are at the location and are describing everything you see, smell, taste, hear, and touch. You can list!

2. Today's Objectives: We will: • list and define the attributes of a powerful personal narrative • compare and contrast different styles of personal narratives and their resulting effect on the audience

3. Quick Notes: Sentences with Swag How can you “show” an event in your writing? What does it mean to show vs. tell? • To tell means to just state the factsand the event. • The show means to explainall of the details and make the readers feel as though they are present. • “Showing” is more engaging than “telling,” but BOTH are needed!! • Option #1: I was walking outside and forgot what time of day it was. • Option #2: It was a dark, gray day. One of those days where time passes by and you don’t really know it. I could smell rain, and as I was walking down the street I looked at my phone and realized it was later than I thought it was. What is more engaging? 2 Ways • Use your 5 senses to create a scene with rich description • Writing where you show something by comparing it to something else > Similes: use like or as to compare Example: Her explanation was as clear as mud. > Metaphors: more direct comparison Example: Life is a journey. (1) sensory language (2) figurative language

4. “Grandmother”It was May, 24, 2011 and I was out residential in V.A. and my mother called me on the phone and told me the terrible news. When I heard her say your grandmother just died my mind went numb. I immediately broke down and start crying. I didn’t want to believe what I just heard. I couldn’t believe grandmother was gone and I felt like life was over. I don’t know, it really just felt like the world became all black. The staff was trying to calm me down but it didn’t work. I was feeling something I never felt before. It was a pill too big to swallow. I tried to use all of the coping skills I had, but it didn’t work. When I finally calmed down my head was spinning and it stopped spinning a little when my case manager told me that I can go to the funeral. You see my grandmother raised me. My mother has 10 kids so my grandmother raised me and my sister. When I was out in resi I had two home passes. I knew she was sick but I didn’t know how sick she really was. She always used to say son you know Imma be alright. I am worried about you so you don’t worry about me. So I thought she’s goning to be ok and she’s so strong nothing could ever break her. So I used my weekend passes to go chill with my men. I went home both weekends and chilled with them. Then on that day 2 staff and my therapist came and got me off the unit. I knew it had to be something bad and no family team meeting. This is when my mother was on the phone and told me on the phone. I was able to go to the funeral and what hurt me the most was seeing her casket. It finally hit me and I felt like it was real. I kind of came down not believing it. Then it hit me she was finally gone. This really changed me because I made my grandmother a promise that I was going to chill out, go to school, and not get locked up no more. Then when I turned around a year later I’m sitting in the same boat. I tried and there’s always something that took me off balance. But, this year I’m going to try my hardest and make it my goal to go day by day, month by month, year by year, and not get in trouble. I want to keep that promise to my grandmother. I owe her this and not a single minute passes that I don’t forget about this promise. I never forget. Every time I do something wrong I always think about her. I want her to be watching over me proud. I want her to be proud of the grandson she worked so hard to raise. Grandmother I love you.

5. Your Turn! Apply specificity to YOUR personal narrative… • Look for major events in your personal narrative. • Pick one sentence to give some swag. • Consider: • adding sensory details • including metaphor or simile

6. Writers at Work! Task(s) at hand: (1) Giving sentences some swag (2) Drafting an illustration, chart, or other visual (3) Incorporating real talk (relevant dialogue and authentic vocabulary)

7. Wrap it up! Directions: Answer the following question. How did adding swag (concrete details and concrete details and vivid comparisons) effect the sentences you revised? • Make sure all of your work is in your writing folder. • Tomorrow we will focus on our introductions and conclusions. By the end of class tomorrow you should have a FFN draft!