Sid and Sue's Story http:// linguaspectrum.com/do_the_lesson.php?id=265

1. Sid and Sue'sStory http://linguaspectrum.com/do_the_lesson.php?id=265

2. This is the story of Sue the sewer and Sid the sewer man. The story is rich in homophones, homonyms and terribly taxing tongue twisters. It will help you with the verbs to sew and to sow and also the nouns, sewer and sewer, among other things. So, let’s begin… Sue the sewer sat and sewed in the small sewing shop that she owned. Sue always said, “As you sow, so shall you reap”. So, she sewed and sewed all day long, so her sewing shop would be so successful. And after sewing for so long, Sue’s small sewing shop certainly seemed successful. Until one day Sid came along. Sid was a sewer man and smelt of poo. Not surprising really, as things in the sewers often do. But Sue the sewer had no sense of smell. She couldn’t smell the smell of poo as you and I might do. And Sue the sewer sat and sewed and saw Sid the sewer man come and go. And Sid the sewer man seemed sad to Sue, and Sue knew what she had to do. As Sid the sewer man sidled by, Sue the sewer stopped sewing to say “hi”. And Sid the sewer man said “hi”, too, and wished he didn’t smell of poo. But Sue the sewer couldn’t smell the poo, because her nose didn’t work like others do. For Sue the sewer Sid seemed ideal. A man at last! Could this be real? “I’m Sid,” said Sid. “I work down the sewer.” “I’m Sue,” said Sue, “and I’m a sewer.” “Won’t you come inside of my sewing shop?” “I surely will,” said Sid to Sue, “for I split my sleeve surveying the sewer, and meant to seek a skilful sewer.” “A stitch in time saves nine,” said Sue, “and a timely stitch is what I’ll do.” “You’re an angel, Sue,” said Sid, simpering. Seven stitches Sue sewed in the slashed sleeve of Sid’s sewer suit. And as Sid saw Sue sew, so Sid said to himself, “this Sue is so sexy.” “Sue doesn’t seem saddened by my smell, unlike the others. I swear to God we’ll soon be lovers.” And Sid the sewer man soon settled in with Sue the sewer, and so did the smell of poo. While Sue the sewer’s senses couldn’t smell the stink on Sid’s sewer suit, shrewd shoppers surely smelt it. And Sue’s sometime successful sewing shop fell strangely silent. Unsuited to sniff Sid’s terrible whiff, Sue surmised things a sign of the crisis. Because of Sid’s scent, Sue made not a cent, but the bills still had to be settled. Strikingly red, bills arrived one, two, three; a thousand pounds more than in the bank there could be. “If you don’t pay, Sue, they’ll sue,” said Sid when he scanned the scarlet statements. “But I’m short of a bob or two and don’t have that sort of cash,” said Sue. “Do you?” “I’m a sewer man, not stinking rich,” said Sid sadly to Sue. “And see how our savings are certainly spoken for?” “The wedding,” said Sue. “We’ll have to put it on ice.” “That won’t be nice, Sue,” said Sid. “Let me think of what I can do.” “That’s it!” said Sid, shortly. “Surely, I have been a silly billy.” “I can’t believe that, Sid,” said Sue. “Pray tell me, what are we to do?”

3. “What a spiffing idea I’ve just had!” said Sid. “A sometime sidekick settled in Sidcup some time since. I’ll certainly see him soon.” Some time after Sidcup, Sid the sewer man brought Sue the sewer so fine a French fabric she swooned. “Listen to me, Sue,” said Sid. “I’m sure you’ll soon see that your sewing will soon sow the seeds of success.” Sue surveyed what Sid slowly said and sighed. “So, to sum up, I’m to sew and sew this so fine French fabric furtively and send the sewing secretly to France?” “Not France. Sidcup,” said Sid. “Sidcup’s the town where the sewing’s to be sneakily sent.” “And for every stitch you sew, so shall you stealthily reap, shekels, under the table, so to speak. French Frank’s from the tax man out of reach.” “French francs!” sighed Sue. “With French francs, what I am to do? I’ll have to swap those French francs at a bank and our secret will be out. To the tax man the bank will shout.” “No, not francs, Sue. French Frank’s money – the money belonging to my former friend Frank.” “Who is Frank, Sid? Sue the sewer asked. “This French Frank, who needs sophisticated sewing, seems not the sort of somebody you see down a sewer.” “Well, Sue, to be frank, Frank is a French friend of mine. I stumbled across the same in a sewer school, studying sewer systems in Seine-Saint-Denis.” “In gay paree?” asked Sue, nervously. “Yes, certainly that city, Sue,” said Sid. “I saved Frank’s life in Paris, I did.” “You saved a French Frank while in Paris?” said Sue. “I’m speechless!” “I was surveying a sewer under the Seine when suddenly the Seine started seeping in,” said Sid. “The Seine’s seeping steepened and I was soaked to the sternum. Insane!” “I found French Frank floundering in fear as the furious flood flowed. Fatigued, I fought the flood, finally flinging Frank forward. Friends forever forged!” “And Frank?” asked Sue, staggered by the saga of this in Seine sewer saving.  “Frank’s fortitude failed and he fled,” Sid said. “No more time would he spend slogging in the sewers.” “Forever free from foul fluids and fetid filth,” said Sue. “Lucky sod, that Frank,” said Sid. “Fortunately for you and I, the fleeing Frank founded a flourishing firm fabricating fancy French fashions lately forced to find a fabulous fabricator of fabric.” “You, Sue,” said Sid. “I submit,” said Sue, “you’ve a fine French friend in Frank. He doesn’t strike me as some evil so and so, no fickle French fiendish fop.” “So, I will sew and sew that fine fabric that Frank fetched from France, and fancy such fancy French fashions will furnish our future fortune.” So, Sue sewed and sewed the fine French fabric that French Frank fetched from France for his fancy French fashions, and soon Sue the sewer and Sid the sewer man were safe from suing. And Sue the sewer married Sid the sewer man and the taxman never suspected. And Sue never knew that Sid smelled of poo, and fortunately, their French friend, Frank, was never frank or forthright enough to tell her. And that was the story of Sue the sewer and Sid the sewer man. To learn more about sew, so, and sow, check the Interactivity at Linguaspectrum.com. I hope you enjoyed this little bit of nonsense and hope that you will share it with your friends and contacts online. I’ll be back with a new interesting English lesson soon.

4. Sewerage 1. A system of sewers. 2. Removal of waste materials by means of a sewer system. 3. Sewage.