Freedom to Marry 101: What’s it all about ?

1. Freedom to Marry 101: What’s it all about? Adult Study for Oregon Synod Congregations

2. Guidelines for Respectful Communication R: Take RESPONSIBILITY for what you say and feel without blaming others E: Use EMPATHETIC listening S: Be SENSITIVE to differences in communication styles P: PONDER what you hear and feel before you speak E: EXAMINE your own assumptions and perceptions C: Keep CONFIDENTIALITY T: TRUST ambiguity because we are nothere to debate who is right or wrong Rev. Eric Law

3. Freedom to Marry and Religious Protection Initiative • Will amend the Oregon State Constitution to allow all loving committed couples to participate in civil marriage • Continues to protect the right of religious institutions and clergy to refuse to perform marriages • Headed for the November 2014 Oregon ballot

4. Cultural and Political Context • Public opinion now increasingly favors allowing civil marriage for all loving committed couples • 14 states and District of Columbia now recognize same-gender civil marriages • Defense of Marriage Act provisions struck down by U.S. Supreme Court in June 2013 • Federal government now recognizes same-gender marriages performed in a state or country where legal

5. The current law in Oregon • 2004 – Oregon voters amended State Constitution to restrict marriage to “one man/one woman” • A vote of the people is required to change the restrictive amendment to include all committed couples • Broad coalition has come together to create the Freedom to Marry and Religious Protection Initiative for the November 2014 ballot • Oregon United for Marriage • Now in process of collecting 116,00+ signatures

6. What about domestic partnerships? • Created in Oregon in 2007 to provide state “privileges, rights, responsibilities, and benefits” equivalent to marriage • Not recognized by federal government, so federal marriage benefits disallowed • Not recognized by other states • Created by signing a contract – no solemnization ceremony with blessings of family and friends • Is not marriage, with all the societal understanding and support that comes with marriage

7. Why are we talking about this at church? • Most opposition to marriage for same-gender couples is presented in religious terms by people of faith • Society – even the non-religious – looks to people of faith for moral guidance on social issues • What do we, as Lutheran people of faith, have to say about the freedom to marry?

8. Coming Out as a Person of Faith Video created by Basic Rights Oregon Educational Fund

9. How do Lutherans understand the Bible? • Lutherans read and understand the Bible through the lens of the good news of Jesus Christ. • Jesus invites us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” and “love your neighbor as yourself” – “on these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40. • Over-arching Biblical theme of the love and acceptance of God, favoring those on the margins

10. How do Lutherans understand the Bible? • Lutherans bring all of our knowledge, learning, and reasoning to the reading of Scripture. • “We believe that God provides insights to us through reason, imagination, the social and physical sciences, cultural understanding, and the creative arts.” • “One reason Lutherans . . . engage so deeply in education and research is that we believe God works through such means to guide us in reading Scripture and in understanding how we will live in a world of continuing complexity and change.” Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust

11. How do Lutherans think about marriage? • 2009 - ELCA’s social statement: “Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust” • the product of years of study, discernment, and engagement • includes a lengthy discussion of marriage, including how it relates to same-gender couples • Marriage defined as“a covenant of mutual promises, commitment, and hope authorized legally by the state and blessed by God.”

12. How do Lutherans think about marriage? • “Lutherans have long affirmed that the public accountability of marriage, as expressed through a legal contract, provides the necessary social support and social trust for relationships that are intended to be sustained throughout life and within changing and often challenging life situations.” • “In this country, pastors carry both legal and religious responsibility for marriage.”Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust

13. For Discussion • This statement expresses the important support marriage offers to couples in creating lifelong loving relationships and weathering difficult challenges. Does the church have an interest in applying this "relationship glue" to families in same-gender relationships as well as those in opposite-gender relationships? Does society? How might children in families with same-gender parents benefit if their parents were married?

14. For Discussion • The Lutheran understanding of marriage sees a role for the church and a role for the state. What is the role of the state in authorizing and sustaining a marriage? What is the role of the church in blessing and sustaining a marriage?

15. How do Lutherans think about marriage? • ELCA hold range of conscience-bound beliefs about whether the church should bless the unions of same-gender couples • Some congregations and pastors perform blessing/wedding services for same-gender couples. • Some congregations and synods call pastors who are in lifelong monogamous same-gender relationships. • Other congregations, pastors and synods decline to do so. • Historic Christian tradition and the Lutheran Confessions have recognized marriage as a covenant between a man and a woman. • Many believe this is the beginning, rather than the end, of the church’s understanding of marriage.

16. How do Lutherans think about marriage? • Contemporary understanding of marriage may include similar same-gender relationships: “Within the last decades, this church has begun to understand and experience in new ways the need of same-gender-oriented individuals to seek relationships of lifelong companionship and commitment as well as public accountability and legal support for those commitments. At the same time, public debates and deliberations have continued regarding understandings of human sexuality in medicine, social science, and corresponding public policy about same-gender relationships.” Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust

17. How do Lutherans think about marriage? “Recognizing that this conclusion differs from the historic Christian tradition and the Lutheran Confessions, some people, though not all, in this church and within the larger Christian community, conclude that marriage is also the appropriate term to use in describing similar benefits, protection, and support for same-gender couples entering into lifelong, monogamous relationships. They believe that such accountable relationships also provide the necessary foundation that supports trust and familial and community thriving.” Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust

18. For Discussion • How has your thinking on marriage changed or not changed over time? • How have your personal experiences affected your thinking about marriage? • What’s in a name? How does society (and how do you) view ‘marriage’ differently from some other legal arrangement?

19. For Discussion • The initiative protects the right of congregations and clergy to refuse to perform marriages. How does this impact your thinking about legalizing civil marriage while allowing congregations and clergy the freedom to allow or not allow blessing/wedding of same-gender couples?

20. What consensus do Lutherans hold concerning same-gender relationships? ELCA stands united on critical issues: • opposes all forms of verbal or physical harassment and assault based on sexual orientation; • supports legislation and policies to protect civil rights and to prohibit discrimination in housing, employment, and public services; • calls upon congregations and members to welcome, care for, and support same-gender couples and their families and to advocate for their legal protection. Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust

21. What consensus do Lutherans hold concerning same-gender relationships? ELCA will • support familial relationships as central to nurturing and sustaining trust and security in human relationships; • advocate for public policies that support and protect families; • commit itself to continued attention to and discernment about changing family configurations and the ways they serve to shelter and protect relationships of mutual trust. Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust

22. What consensus do Lutherans hold concerning same-gender relationships? 2013 Churchwide Assembly Resolution : “Ministering to Same-Gender Couples and Their Families” • invites and encourages conversations and resource sharing among congregations and church leaders “on changing family configurations and their impact on society and the ministry of the church” • calls for additional work on “appropriate steps in carrying out these commitments to pastoral care for same-gender couples and their families”

23. For Discussion • How are we welcoming, caring for and supporting same-gender couples and their families? • How are we advocating for the legal protection and support of same-gender couples and their families?

24. For Discussion • Following the 2008 passage of California’s Proposition 8 to restrict marriage to one man/one woman (later overturned by the courts), polling showed that 40% of members of “welcoming” and “affirming” congregations voted to prohibit same-gender couples from marrying. Why do you think this happened?

25. What is the role of the church in discussing and advocating for changing civil laws? ELCA Constitution: “To participate in God’s mission, this church shall: . . . Serve in response to God’s love to meet human needs, caring for the sick and the aged, advocating dignity and justice for all people, working for peace and reconciliation among the nations, and standing with the poor and powerless and committing itself to their needs.” “To fulfill these purposes, this church shall: . . . Study social issues and trends, work to discover the causes of oppression and injustice, and develop programs of ministry and advocacy to further human dignity, freedom, justice, and peace in the world.”

26. How does the state view church advocacy on issues of public policy? Maintaining tax-exempt status in advocacy: • churches may engage in educational activities about issues of public policy • churches may also engage in lobbying efforts in an effort to influence the vote on legislation or a ballot issue, provided the lobbying activity does not rise to a “substantial part” of its overall activities.

27. For Discussion • Does your church discuss issues of public policy? How has the discussion or lack or discussion shaped the character of your congregation? • Does your church engage in any advocacy on issues of public policy? How has this shaped the character of your congregation?

28. Where do we go from here? • Do we want/need more time to study this issue? • What do we need more information about? • Should we invite voices of people who are gay and lesbian into our discussion? • Are we ready for congregational advocacy on this issue? What might that advocacy look like?