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Skagit Island SHRM. December 8 , 2011. Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel : 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com. What No One Taught You about Workplace Communication. (But Expects You to Know). Presented by: Carol Bowser
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Skagit Island SHRM December 8, 2011 Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
What No One Taught You about Workplace Communication (But Expects You to Know) Presented by: Carol Bowser Conflict Management Strategies, Inc. Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Goals • Learn • Interact • Laugh • Action Plan Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Communication Styles • What they are • Why they are important • How to leverage Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Communication Styles HEADLINES HINTS STORIES Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Determining YOUR Style Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HEADLINES Short sentences-newspaper headline No chit-chat Bullet points Quick interactions Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HEADLINES “The bottom line is….”“The headline is….”“What is your point?”“I need….”I Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HINTS Questions instead of statements Requests instead of demands Ask what you think first Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HINTS “So what do you think?” “What would you like to do?” “Would it be possible to ….?” “That’s interesting.” Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
STORYTELLER Who, what, where, when, how much, how long, what they ate, what they said, how long it took, what they wore, the weather… Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
STORYTELLER Favorite phrases of storytellers: “Did you hear?”“Let me tell you about….” “You know Bob who…?” Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Practice Exercise What I did on my summer vacation? Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Why Styles are Important Clashing Styles= Frustration, Blame and Irritation= Impeded Career Advancement Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HEADLINERS STORYTELLERS Pointless Rambling Wasting Time Ugh! HINTERS • Annoying • Manipulative • Passive-Aggressive • Unable to make decisions Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
HINTERS STORYTELLERS Self-Centered Time Wasting When Can I Talk? HEADLINERS • Abrupt • Rude • Doesn’t Listen • Aggressive Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
STORYTELLERS HINTERS Poor Direction Confusing Vague Wishy-Washy HEADLINERS • Doesn’t Listen • Interrupts • Aggressive • Impatient Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
The Pinball Machine Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Reputation Respect Relief Why Should You Care? Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Strategies- Level 1 Your StyleOther’s StyleCatalysts of Change Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Level 2- Adaptation Imaginary Conversation Practice on Friends and Family (don’t tell) Use with Colleagues Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Notice Taking Action Involving Others Level 3-Translation Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Examples: Hinter Headliner: “What Mary needs to hear is….” Level 3-Translation Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Storyteller Hinter “How do you think people might respond to….” Level 3-Translation Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Headliner Storyteller “Jan might need a little more background so that she can better understand the task. Tell her more about….” Level 3-Translation Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
Know-Adapt-Succeed Link back to goals of why is this important? Reputation, Respect and Relief Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com
THANK YOU!! www.ManagingConflict.com cb@managingconflict.com CarolNBowser Carol Bowser Blog: The Workplace Conflict Expert Says Conflict Management Strategies • po box 263 • Puyallup, WA 98371 tel: 253.219.5532 • fax: 253.845.4843 • www.ManagingConflict.com