COHABITATION

1. COHABITATION “Why Buy the Cow, When You Can Get the Milk for Free?”

2. The Problem Cohabitation violates the institute of marriage by lacking a true commitment. Cohabitation • Living together in a sexual relationship without being married

3. Background Leading to the Problem • Cohabitation rates increased from 500,000 in 1970 to 5.5 million people cohabitating in 2000 • 60-75% of first marriages preceded by cohabitation • 80-85% of re-marriages preceded by cohabitation

4. Reasons Given for Cohabitation • Economic advantages • “We can save money by sharing living expenses.” • Time together • “We are able to spend more time together.”

5. Reasons for Cohabitation (cont.) • Increased intimacy • “We have more opportunities to share sexual and emotional intimacy without getting married.” • Less complicated dissolution • “If the relationship doesn’t work out, there is no messy divorce.”

6. Reasons for Cohabitation (cont.) • “Testing” compatibility • “Living together enables us to better learn about each other’s habits and character and see how we operate together day-to-day.” • Trial marriage • “We are planning to marry soon.”

7. Cohabitation and Social Research • Men and women give different reasons for living together. • Does not insure compatibility. • Does not increase success or happiness in marriage. • Most live-in relationships end in breaking up. • Reason: Researchers believe that this is due to an attitude that live-in individuals have that such behavior is not really important.

8. Women Why are you living together? #1 response: “Trial Marriage” Do you believe you will eventually marry this person? #1 response: “Yes” Men Why are you living together? #1 response: Convenience / Sex Do you believe you will eventually marry this person? #1 response: “No” Reasons for Cohabitating

9. New Info on Cohabitation • Cohabitation is on the rise for older individuals Reasons: • Avoid loss of financial benefits such as alimony, welfare, or pension checks • Loss of a spouse to death or divorce and fear of losing another spouse • Pain and anger as a result of a divorce

10. Health Effects of Cohabitation • Several studies show that cohabitating increases the risk of drug use and physical, mental , and emotional abuse. • Overall rates of violence in cohabitating couples were double that of married couples and severe violence was 5 times higher for cohabitors.

11. Reasons Not to Cohabitate • Couples living together have the lowest level of premarital satisfaction when compared to other living arrangements. • Married couples that cohabitated prior to marriage have poorer communication skills in discussing problems than couples that did not cohabitate. • Cohabitating couples are less sexually committed and trustworthy.

12. Reasons Not to Cohabitate • Cohabitating couples have lower levels of personal happiness and higher rates of depression than married couples • Cohabitors have more negative attitudes about marriage than non-cohabitors. • Cohabitation increases the chances of having children out of wedlock.

13. Rates of Divorce • Cohabitation = XXXXXXXX 80% • Sex Before = XXXXX 50% • Sex & Stop = XX 20% • Virginity = X 10-12%

14. “The Bottom Line” • Delay of marriage until median age of 25 for females and 27 for males • Concern over continuing high rates of divorce has led to couples seeking a weaker form of union with less commitment to lifelong marriage • Cohabitation is generally not a good way to prepare for marriage or to avoid divorce

15. “The Bottom Line” • Lack of commitment to marriage • A strong commitment is the basis of marriage. • Cohabitating couples are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy. • Cohabitors are more willing to terminate the relationship. • Inability to make a decision about marriage • Cohabitation reflects uncertainty.

16. The 2011 Florida StatutesCHAPTER 798 ADULTERY; COHABITATION • 798.01  Living in open adultery. • 798.02  Lewd and lascivious behavior. • 798.01  Living in open adultery.--Whoever lives in an open state of adultery shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083. Where either of the parties living in an open state of adultery is married, both parties so living shall be deemed to be guilty of the offense provided for in this section. • History.--s. 1, ch. 1986, 1874; RS 2595; GS 3518; RGS 5406; CGL 7549; s. 772, ch. 71-136. • 798.02  Lewd and lascivious behavior.--If any man and woman, not being married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together, or if any man or woman, married or unmarried, engages in open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, they shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083. • History.--s. 6, ch. 1637, 1868; RS 2596; GS 3519; RGS 5407; CGL 7550; s. 773, ch. 71-136.

17. Cohabitation and Catholic Teachings (part 1) • Opposes single people living together as if they were married. • Married couples rely on the grace of the Sacrament of Marriage while cohabitating couples do not have this benefit. • Living together can jeopardize one’s ability to make a truly free choice about who to marry and when to marry.

18. Cohabitation and Catholic Teaching (part 2) • Catholic teaching supports a couple’s right to marry. • The Church will marry a cohabitating couple with certain understandings: • Marriage prep classes • Live apart for a time with a regular wedding ceremony • Live together with a small wedding ceremony.