Selected Topics in Sentence Structure

1. Selected Topics in Sentence Structure Intensive Course in Research Writing Texas A&M University July 11-15, 2011 Susan E. Aiello, DVM, ELS susan@words-world.net WordsWorld Consulting www.words-world.net

2. Sentence Structure • Express the main message in the main parts of the sentence (ie, the subject and the verb). • Be aware of using active vs passive voice. • Be sure that antecedents of pronouns are clear. • Watch placement of modifiers and participles. • Express comparisons clearly. • Put parallel ideas in parallel form. • Differentiate between essential and nonessential clauses.

3. Express the Main Message in the Subject and the Verb • Make the topic the subject of the sentence. • Put the action in the verb.

4. Topic as Subject Example: The dog showed no change in clinical signs. • The dog’s clinical signs did not change. • The dog’s clinical signs were unchanged.

5. Topic as Subject • The patient was begun on 6 g of aspirin daily and had resolution of his arthritis. • After the patient began taking 6 g of aspirin daily, his arthritis resolved. • Aspirin (6 g daily) resolved the patient’s arthritis.

6. Action in the Verb • English is a language of verbs. • The more of the meaning you put into verbs, the stronger the statement will be. • Omitting or weakening verbs creates weak sentences. • What is the action? • Is there a verb to express it?

7. Action in the Verb • An increase in heart rate occurred. • Heart rate increased. • Evaporation of ethanol from the mixture takes place rapidly. • Ethanol evaporates from the mixture rapidly. • We made at least two analyses on each specimen. • We analyzed each specimen at least twice.

8. Action in the Verb Prolongation of life for uremic patients has been made possible by improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis. • Uremic patients live longer because of improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis. • The lives of uremic patients have been prolonged by improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis. • Improved conservative treatment and hemodialysis have prolonged the lives of uremic patients.

9. How to Find Action that is Not in the Verb • Look for weak verbs occurred, showed, was observed, was achieved, etc • Look for nouns made from verbs: -tion inhibition, formation, interpretation, etc -ment measurement, assessment -ence occurrence, existence • Look for increase and decrease used as nouns instead of verbs.

10. Active versus Passive Voice It was done by us. We did it. In general, the active voice is: • More concise • More forceful • More persuasive Encouraged for the Introduction and the Discussion

11. Active versus Passive Voice • To determine the mechanism for the direct effect of contrast media on heart muscle mechanics, this study on heart muscles isolated from cats was performed. • To determine the mechanism for the direct effect of contrast media on heart muscle mechanics, we performed this study on heart muscles isolated from cats.

12. Active versus Passive Voice • It is our expectation that through additional acquisitions, we will construct a network of companies that can operate first on a national and then on an international basis. Initiatives have been taken to penetrate the animal feed industry in the US. Major emphasis will be placed on exploring and establishing a basis for serving the industry in Russia and the Middle East. • We plan to create, through additional acquisitions, a network of companies that can operate first on a national basis and then on an international basis. We have taken initiatives…. We will place a major emphasis….

13. Unclear Antecedents Too many pronouns can make the antecedent unclear. • Children are born with billions of neurons in their brains, but in order for them to be connected properly they need to be touched and talked to extensively by their parents.

14. Unclear Antecedents Too many nouns can make the antecedent unclear. • The presence of disulfide bonds in oligopeptides may restrict the formation of ordered structures in sodium dodecyl sulfate solution. Once they are reduced, the predicted conformation can be fully induced. • Laboratory animals are not susceptible to these diseases, so research on them is hampered.

15. Misplaced Modifiers Put limiting modifiers in front of (ie, before) the words they modify. • You will only need to plant one package of seed. (no other needs) • You will need only to plant one package of seed. (not water, fertilize, etc) • You will need to plant only one package of seed. (no more than that)

16. Misplaced Modifiers • Only medication can ease the pain. • Medication can only ease the pain. • Medication can ease only the pain.

17. Misplaced Modifiers • Susan almost ate the whole chicken. (This means she didn’t eat it.) • Susan ate almost the whole chicken.

18. Misplaced Modifiers • The robber was described as a six-foot-tall man with a heavy mustache weighing 150 pounds. • Dumpy and overweight, the vet says our dog needs more exercise.

19. Dangling and Misplaced Participles General rules: • A participle is a verb form used as an adjective. • Because participles are adjectives, they must modify a noun or a pronoun. • If the participial phrase does not modify the noun closest to it, it is misplaced.

20. Dangling and Misplaced Participles General rules: • When a participial phrase introduces a sentence, the expectation is that it will modify the subject of the sentence, which usually comes immediately after the introductory phrase. • A dangling participle occurs when the sentence contains no word that the participial phrase can logically modify.

21. Dangling Participles • Reaching the heart, a bypass was performed on the blocked arteries.What reached the heart? • Before beginning an exercise program after a heart attack, a physician should review the program carefully. • While designed primarily to screen for fumonisins, other compounds have been assayed.

22. Misplaced Participles • When completely dissected, the assistant pulls up the seminal vesicles with a grasper and the rest of the dissection is carried out in the same way. • Contingent on grant funding, the researcher also plans an add-on study, in which the effectiveness of a manualized behavioral therapy regimen would be tested in the same children (with prior parental permission); however, that add-on study is not currently before the IRB for approval.

23. Problems with Comparisons Overuse and misuse of compared to/with When a comparative term is used (greater, bigger), it should be accompanied by “than,” not by “compared to/with”

24. Problems with Comparisons • The time to tumor recurrence was significantly (p=0.02) shorter for patients with MFH compared to those with Ewing sarcoma. • We determined that combination therapy with these two agents significantly decreased the rate of disease progression compared to ifosfamide alone.

25. Problems with Comparisons Comparison of unlike things • These results are similar to previous studies. • Similar to other clinical trials, we found that the two-year survival rate was 75%.

26. Parallelism Parallelism is repetition of structure. Parallel ideas: • Ideas that are equal in logic and importance (alike or contrasting) • Should be expressed in similar structures (parallel form), either as a pair or as a series Results of parallelism: • Makes the ideas easier to understand • Makes the writing more concise

27. Parallelism • Conjunctions indicate coordinate status, but they are not always present (and sometimes are misapplied). • both . . . and • either . . . or • neither . . . nor • not only . . . but also

28. Parallelism If planned properly and carefully measured, this flap will reach as high as the eustachian tube. • Problem:The conjunction suggests a parallel construction, but corresponding words are not placed correspondingly (ie, they are not expressed in similar structures). How to fix? Rearrange sentence elements: • planned properly and measured carefully or • properly planned and carefullymeasured

29. Parallelism People started on any of these three medications need to have their blood pressures checked regularly and their kidney function carefully monitored. • checked regularly and monitored carefullyOR • regularly checked and carefully monitored

30. Parallelism • Anesthesia was induced with ketamine by infusion and maintained by inhalation of halothane and oxygen. • Anesthesia was induced by infusion of ketamine and maintained by inhalation of halothane and oxygen.

31. Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses • Also called essential/nonessential and definining/nondefining • Restrictive modifiers provide meaning essential to the meaning of the sentence. Every man who does that should be jailed. Restrictive or nonrestrictive? Meaning: We don’t want to jail every man, just the ones who do that.

32. Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses • Nonrestrictive modifiers provide additional meaning, but not essential meaning. Every official, including the highest, will be there. • How to tell? If the clause within the commas is removed and the sentence maintains the same meaning, the clause is nonrestrictive. Every man, who does that, should be jailed.=Every man should be jailed.

33. Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses What about “that” and “which”? • Use “that” to introduce restrictive or essential clauses. • Use “which” to introduce nonrestrictive or nonessential clauses, and set the clause off by commas.

34. Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses Commas, which cut out the fat, Go with which, never with that.

35. Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses • Employees will receive a bill from management for those deductions which must be paid in dollars. What is meant – that all the deductions must be paid in dollars, or that employees will be billed for whatever deductions must be paid in dollars? • Oral drugs are indicated in the management of diabetes mellitus (which or that) cannot be treated with diet alone.

36. Sentence Structure Goals: • Clear • Concise • Readable • Understandable

37. Sentence Structure Dogs treated with the test drug and conventional therapy had a better quality of life as characterized by a lessened degree of heart failure and increased exercise capacity manifested by improved mobility when compared with dogs treated with the vehicle tablets and conventional therapy. Optional Exercise: