Enhancing Male-Female Communication in A High Female Environment

Enhancing Male-Female Communication in A High Female Environment May 10, 2013

Male vs. Female Brains

Gender Distinctions The Little Things that Drive Men Crazy Male Female • World of work & personal life are the same • Want to present storyline as it • progressed • You need details to understand • situation • Enjoy the process of communicating • Worlds of work & personal life • are separate • Start with conclusion up front • If I need more details, I will ask • Enjoy the results of • communicating

Gender Distinctions The Little Things that Drive Men Crazy Male Female • Tend to process internally • (while thinking it through, can’t • talk about it) • Getting emotional means logic • has been lost • Separate work world and • personal world • Tend to focus solely on work • issues in meetings • Tend to process externally (think it through by talking it through) • Getting emotional is natural and • necessary at times • Blend work world and personal • world • See benefit to briefly address • personal issues to build relationships

Continued The Little Things that Drive Men Crazy Male Female • Transactional expectations • Do not overreact. Edit your • reactions & move on • Rarely show personal • frustration as results of conflict • at work • Relational expectations • Reactions are who I am and are a • normal process • Difficulty separating conflict • from personal reactions

Continued The Little Things that Drive Men Crazy Male Female • Address the issue and don’t bring it up again • My job title defines me • Focus on breadth of topics in • conversation • Continue to express feelings until • adequately resolved • My job title is only part of who I am • Focus on depth of topic in • conversation

“Suck it Up” Female Male • Don’t let obstacles stop you from completing the job • Look for signs of commitment to accomplish tasks • More skilled in hiding signs of • apathy toward commitment • Reluctant to complain about • obstacles • Obstacles are normal and need to be accommodated • Do not necessarily look for signs of commitment • More willing to broadcast signs of apathy toward commitment • Willing to complain about • obstacles

“Suck it Up” Male Female • Complaining seen as a way to • remedy concerns • Acceptable to talk about how hard you are working • Small stuff needs to be addressed • Explain to me why I have to • perform tasks • Complaining seen as claiming to be a victim • Avoid talking about how hard you are working • Don’t sweat the small stuff • Do as the boss tells you, without question

“Suck it Up” Male Female • Collectively figure things out • Seeking help and offering help is acceptable • Speak to build rapport with lots of details • Always OK to ask if there is a • better way to doing it • Figure things out on your own at work • Ask for help is not appropriate • Speak to report facts in short • phrases with limited details • If there’s a deadline, figure it out fast

“Suck it Up” Male Female • Analyze it first, then proceed • More willing to seek permission to change parameters • Focus on asking questions first, • then take action • Acceptable to seek different • standards • Get on with it, take action now • More willing to accept deadlines and work within them • Focus on moving on when under tight structures • We all need to play by the same • rules

The Visual Trap • More areas of brain devoted to visual-spatial processing • Brain attuned to external visual stimuli • More likely to perceive numerous stimuli as sexual Male Female • More areas of brain devoted to verbal-emotional processing • Brain attuned to internal sensory stimuli • Less likely to perceive numerous stimuli as sexual

The Visual Trap Male Female • He can’t not notice her attractiveness • She’s dressing provocatively to sell her sexuality • Emotion-oriented response to attraction • She can avoid noticing his attractiveness • I’m dressing attractively to look good, to feel stylish • Thought-oriented response to attraction

The Confidence Game Male Female • Often prefer a competitive approach to problem solving • My position, my work, is my identity • Thrive on tackling new challenges • Asking for help is a sign of weakness • Often prefer a cooperative approach to problem solving • My position is only part of my identity • Do not necessarily thrive on tackling new challenges • Asking for help is acceptable in the workforce

The Confidence Game • Perceive her asking “why” as a challenge • Avoid expressing exasperation in workplace • Greatest fear is being seen as incompetent Male Female • Perceive asking “why” as seeking clarification • Often express exasperation in the workplace • Greatest fear is being seen as uncaring

Reference: The Male Factor: Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace - ShauntiFeldhahn

Presenters: Carol Lopinski, ACSW, LCSW, CISW Director of Family Support Child Crisis Center carol.lopinski@childcrisis.org www.childcrisis.org Neil Tift, M.A. Male Involvement Program Director Child Crisis Center neil.tift@childcrisis.org www.childcrisis.org

Enhancing Male-Female Communication in A High Female Environment