90 likes | 223 Views
Child Training. Constrain and Confirm. Child Training Method. Determined by the scriptural goal & objectives God’s goal for everyone Hb 12:5-11 Goal: independent godliness (spiritual maturity) Objectives: (Positive vs. Negative) Self-control vs. Self-indulgence Wisdom vs. Foolishness
E N D
Child Training Constrain and Confirm
Child Training Method • Determined by the scriptural goal & objectives • God’s goal for everyone Hb 12:5-11 • Goal: independent godliness (spiritual maturity) • Objectives: (Positive vs. Negative) • Self-control vs. Self-indulgence • Wisdom vs. Foolishness • Responsibility vs. Irresponsibility • If the goal is to accept responsibility to choose to be godly, in submission to God’s wisdom, self-control…What is the method to achieve goal?
Child Training • You must train the will of the child • Strong-willed vs. self-willedHb 5:12-14 • Control esp. younger children who can’t control themselves yet • Convince be convinced & teach the child • Constrain give opportunity to practice what he is taught; make sure he follows through • Confirm reinforce right decisions & develop more opportunities for growth; allow wrong decisions to teach the child
Biblical Control • Physical coercion, bribery, etc. may work short-term on behavior • Emphasis is not on the external • God gave authority to parents Ef. 6:1-4 • God gave control to the parents • Parental Control should become Self Control • Tyrannical parenting -> anger, discouragement • Negligent parenting -> same result
Biblical Control • The child must obey. Period. • The child acts immediately upon calm instruction, the first time. • Aim for child’s respect, not affection • Authority must be taken back – not back and forth – make it permanently • Do not allow the child to argue • Do not misuse authority (i.e. bully them) • Do not try to be a “friend” in a way that lacks authority
Biblical Instruction • Instruction should become Insight Dt. 6:6-9 • Time • Consistency • Within teaching • With other parent • With parental behavior • With reality • Coherent Reasons Dt. 6:20-25 • God’s reasons to do what is right, how it is right
Constraining as Training • Discipline should become Self-discipline • Child to tutor Gal. 3:23-4:7 lower than slave • Disciple to master Jn 13:12-17 • Example v.4-5 • Instruction v.12-13,16 (6-11) • Command v.14-15 • Promise v.17 • Let your words be few Eccl. 5:2 (rules be few) • Let your words be trueMatt. 5:37 (enforced)
Constraining as Training • No rules - no training Pr 29:15 • Too many rules - opportunities for inconsistency • Rebuke only vs. restraint1 Sam. 2:22-23; 3:13 • Spanking? Pr 13:24 promptly Eccl. 8:11 • Pr. 22:15 with instruction • Pr 23:13-14 with love for his soul • Build up deposits in emotional bank account (EMB) before making withdrawal • For violating God’s rules, parents’ rules, any authority (not for accidents, ignorance, etc.)
Training by Confirming • If correction, explanatory rebuke • If consequences, explain cause & effect • If punishment, gives meaning to discipline • If reward, gives meaning to accomplishment • If praise, builds esteem & deposits in EMB • Outcome reinforces words • Consistency & confirmation builds trust • Consistency & confirmation paves way for success next time