Resilience: What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

1. Resilience:What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger Mary Markowski Scarborough High School

2. What is Resilience? • The capacity to respond and recover when life hits you upside the head • Ability to handle stress and setbacks in life • There are 5 steps that each of us can learn to be resilient! • First, let’s see how resilient you already are!

3. How Resilient Are You? True or False Quiz • If I have a disagreement with a close family or friend, it leaves me upset for hours. • If another drivers cuts me off in traffic, I can’t stop fuming about it. • If I make a mistake at school or work, I have trouble skaing it off. • If I was not accepted for a job I really wanted or I school I really wanted to get into, it would make me feel down about my whole future. • At a party, if I’m talking with a new person that I’m really interested in and then I get tongue-tied, I replay the moment over and over in my head for a days afterward.

4. Count up the number of times you said “true” • More than 3 “true”s: • You may have a hard time snapping back from setbacks….you could use some of these pointers on the next few slides • 2 or less “true”s: • Nice work! You have excellent coping skills.

5. 5 secrets to Resilience • Choose to be a survivor • View setbacks and temporary • Think out of the “Oh-No!” box • Take care of Yourself • Don’t go it alone

6. 1. Choose to be a survivor • It’s easy to freak out but resilient people don’t let themselves • Avoid catastrophic thinking and avoid “negative self talk” • Be your own hero and remember that YOU control your life and can take action • TAKE the INITIATIVE for your life! • We can’t always control what happens to us, but we ALWAYS control our attitude and reactions

7. 2. View Setbacks as Temporary • The Most resilient people believe that they actions they take can and do affect change. • They do not take losses personally • They realize a setback can be a challenge and an opportunity • When things go wrong, look to people, books, past experiences, to help you take action • Remember that you have control over your emotions and things will get better

8. 3. Think out of the oh-no box • An unexpected crisis causes most of us to freeze with fear but flexibility is a key characteristic of resilience • Train yourself to ask these questions: • What other things might have contributed to the problem? • If I shared this issue with my friend, what would s/he see as having caused it? • What parts of the problem can I directly control? • What solutions have I not tried? • These questions help you form “insight” to problems

9. 4. Take care of yourself • Physical health is necessary for resilience! • Eat well and exercise • Avoid mood changers like alcohol and marijuana • Practice relaxation breathing to calm yourself down during tough times

10. 5. Don’t go it alone • The more you hide your problem, the more power it has over you • Reach out to those you love • Build your connections to different groups: school, family, work friends, neighbors, etc • Being interconnected gives us the strength to handle challenges by helping us develop a sense of belonging and purpose!

11. Final thoughts on resiliency • Remember how strong you are to have gotten this far in life • Keep calm and “carry on” • Remember “this too, shall pass!” • Take care of yourself • Reach out to others • How can we keep ourselves resilient throughout our lives, especially when times get tough? • Personal reflection time  

12. Self Reflection • Think of a time that you have shown resilience in your life • Think of the 5 secrets of resilience • Choose to be a survivor • View setbacks and temporary • Think out of the “Oh-No!” box • Take care of Yourself • Don’t go it alone • Journal briefly about when in your life you have done some/all of these 5 things