Mentor Training Program Falmouth VIPS

1. Mentor Training ProgramFalmouth VIPS Tips, Tools, and Techniques for Becoming a Mentor, Role Model, and Friend

2. Mentors Make a Difference! • Who were your mentors when you were… - in school? - a new employee? - a new parent? - a first-time homeowner? - a first-time boss? • Think about some of the attributes of your mentors…

3. A Test, a la Charles Schultz • 1. Name the 10 wealthiestpeople in the world • 2. Name the last 5 Heismann Trophy winners • 3. Name the last 5 winners of the Miss America contest How did you do?

4. Part II of the Test • 1. List a few teachers who helped you with your journey through school • 2. Name two friends who helped you through a difficult time • 3. Name three people who taught you something worthwhile And the lesson is…

5. What Really Matters • Few of us remember yesterday’s headlines • Star athletes, politicians, pop stars, and philanthropists may be great at what they do, BUT once the applause fades and the awards tarnish, many achievements are forgotten. • The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones in the spotlight or those with the most money, awards, or credentials… They are the ones that care!

6. What is a Mentor? • Can you come up with a one-word description of a mentor? • Think about some of the essential qualitiesa good mentor might have…

7. Good mentors… • Give attention • Recognize the skills and interests of their mentee • Listen well and with respect • Communicate clearly and effectively • Provide leadership • Help their mentees set objectives and goals • Help their mentees recognize responsible actions and decisions • Are reliable and consistent • Provide emotional support

8. Good mentors… • Are committed, consistent, persistent • Provide guidance not judgement • Accept responsibility • Are confidential in all matters* • Assume the role of advocate for their mentee • Are positive, tolerant, and reliable • Have a sense of humor • Respect the viewpoints of their mentees

9. Good mentors… • Never replace the role of a parent or guardian • Never interfere with program policies • Do not tutor • Do not break trust that has been established unless it is life threatening • Do not impose their own values or religious convictions • Do not expect dramatic changes overnight

10. Good mentors… • Do not serve as their mentee’s psychiatrist, religious advisor, or probation officer • Do not serve as a source of financial support • Can’t provide the solutions to all the issues the mentee is facing • Act like themselves at all times and do not put on appearances for their mentee

11. The Name Game • When you meet with your mentee for the first time… What will you call him or her? & What will your mentee call you?

12. How are students selected? • Most often, students are recommended by a classroom teacher, a school adjustment counselor, or a parent/guardian. • WHY? As the mentor, you may never know the specifics (confidentiality). In most cases, the student has experienced difficulty adjusting either socially, emotionally, or academically. • What matters is that you are committing your time and friendship to this student and they can trust you and count on you. You are a positive role model for this student!

13. The first meeting • Start slowly. Be yourself. Don’t try to accomplish too much! The first meeting is a time to get acquainted, find some common interests, share some things about yourself. Don’t press to get too much information in return. • Listen carefully. Don’t judge. Don’t over-analyze the first meeting. It may take time to find something you have in common; in some cases, it may even take a few visits before your mentee looks you in the eye. • Show sincere interest. Be respectful. Be patient.

14. Icebreakers & Conversation Starters • What are your hobbies? • What are your favorite… … foods, games, sports, books, television shows, movies, animals, school subjects, colors, etc. • If you could be principal (president, teacher, etc.) for a day, what would you do… What has worked for you? Jot down some suggestions now and share them with fellow mentors.

15. Communicating…with your mentee • Focus on your student; put aside any distractions (including cell phones!) • Make eye contact and give student your undivided attention • Be aware of the student’s body language; read between the lines and make conversational adjustments if necessary • Acknowledge—by using verbal or nonverbal cues—that you are listening • Ask open-ended questions

16. Communicating…with your mentee • Be honest about what you are thinking, feeling, and saying • Speak for yourself (use “I” statements) • Be persistent; follow through with statements, promises, commitments • Don’t lecture! Listen, share • Avoid negativity • ‘You have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk!’

17. VIPS-specific Mentor Tips • Sign-in at the school’s reception area (& log your hours!). Always wear a VIPS Volunteer Badge • Go to your student’s classroom or meet student at pre-arranged meeting location. • Mentor-mentee meetings must take place on school grounds, in public areas. Most schools have a handful of meeting spaces available to mentors: library, cafeteria, computer lab, hallway desk, guidance office, playground… always let the office staff know if you will be going outdoors.

18. VIPS-specific Mentor Tips • Let your student know that everything* you discuss will be kept confidential. • Assure your student that you are there for them • Watch for danger signs (if he/she tells you something of concern, discuss it with the adjustment counselor) • Praise your mentee and bolster their self-esteem and confidence! • *the exception: if your child tells you something that may cause harm to him/her or to others.

19. VIPS-specific Mentor Tips • Remind your student that you will be back the following week • If you plan to be absent, let your student know and, if away for a couple of sessions, send the student a note or postcard c/o the school • When you have completed your session, be sure to log your hour(s) in the VIPS Volunteer Log Book

20. And of course… • Attend VIPS mentor training meetings! These meetings provide… • Important tips and skill-building exercises • Guest speakers offering information and education on timely, relevant issues facing school-age children • A chance to share advice, tips, and ideas and an opportunity to talk through problems