Year 6 Leavers’ Concert 2013

The Twelve Tasks of Hercules or I’m a Greek – Get me out of here! Sing a Nice Song Thirty Years of Poo Twelve Heroic Tasks That Lion Mustn’t Sleep Tonight Hide in Your Pot HiyaHiyaHiya Year 6 Leavers’ Concert 2013

We’d like to welcome one and all We hope you really have a ball Hope our singing’s fantastic Our costumes are cool The acting’s the best that you’ve seen in a school You’ll love every minute and say that you’re glad that you came There’s just one thing – a little snag The Greeks were really, really bad They loved killing and murder and battles with beasts They argued and shouted and guzzled at feasts So how we can make this a suitable show for us kids? We’ll just sing a nice song ‘bout those terrible Greeks We’ll smile as we tell of their hideous feats We better say sorry in case we offend But the fact is a lot met a bloodthirsty end We don’t want to censor – we know that it’s wrong We’ll soften the blow with a delicate song And hope that our voices will help to disguise All the gory events right in front of your eyes Sing a Nice Song (1)

We’ll sing a nice song ‘bout the terrible Greeks We hope that you’ll cope – that your stomach’s not weak You’ll deal with the violence, you’ll deal with the gore At the end of the show you’ll be yelling for more We’ll sing a nice song ‘bout the terrible Greeks And hope you don’t mind but we’ve been trying for weeks To think of a nice way of telling our tale But the Greeks were disgusting and so we have failed The Greeks were disgusting so here is our tale Sing a Nice Song (2)

Hercules he was so bad First his mean wife sent him mad Put him in a very nasty mood Can’t believe the thing he did: Murdered his half-dozen kis Not thing thing a hero ought to do CHORUS Hercules – what shall we do? Naughty step’s too good for you Need a punishment and one to last Need you show you’re capable Of knowing what’s acceptable Better give you twelve heroic tasks Twelve Heroic Tasks

Hercules went to Tiryns Where the king was really mean He would often swear and shout and cuss Herc knew that it would be tough Good was not quite good enough Had to work to please Eurythesus CHORUS Hercules – what shall we do? Naughty step’s too good for you Need a punishment and one to last Need you show you’re capable Of knowing what’s acceptable Better give you twelve heroic tasks When he saw what he had done Hercules began to run To the temple where Apollo stayed The god said, “Purify your soul “Ten labours will make it whole “No pollution so you will behave” Chorus Twelve Heroic Tasks

Hercules was sent to Nemean Where he met a nasty old lion Loved to eat the warriors of town They all hoped that Herc would bring him down The lion would look like a girl And when approach it’s claws unfurl CHORUS Hercules you have to act Do something ‘bout that awful cat Use your muscle, use your might That lion mustn’t sleep tonight Hercules we look to you Do what a hero ought to do We need you to put this right: That lion mustn’t sleep tonight That Lion Mustn’t Sleep Tonight (1)

First thing that he tried was archery But its skin was tough as tough can be Weapons seemed a total waste of time How would Hercules defeat the lion? He lured it back into its cave And followed it – boy he was brave! CHORUS Hercules you have to act Do something ‘bout that awful cat Use your muscle, use your might That lion mustn’t sleep tonight Hercules we look to you Do what a hero ought to do We need you to put this right: That lion mustn’t sleep tonight Close together, dimly lit He reached around and strangled it Chorus That Lion Mustn’t Sleep Tonight (2)

When he sent Herc for the lion Eurythesus thought that would be that He thought that no-one could lay any blow on That man-eating beast of a cat So when he came back to Tyrns Boasting the score was one-nil Something went ping in the mind of the king And he said he was feeling quite ill He called for a pot made of bronze When they asked what for he responded CHORUS Hide in your pot when you’re frightened Hide in your pot when you’re scared When you sense a crisos then reach for your pithos And no-one will know that you’re there Hide in Your Pot (1)

This showed the king was a coward: For ev’ry task finished hence Herc was instructed all work be conducted Outside the perimeter fence This made the king look quite foolish People would giggle and scare Nothing less cooler than seeing your ruler Hidden in Greek kitchenware There’s never another boss Who had his HQ in a pithos CHORUS Hide in your pot when you’re frightened Hide in your pot when you’re scared When you sense a crisos then reach for your pithos And no-one will know that you’re there Don’t be ashamed if you’re weak Just say you’re being a bit Greek Chorus Hide in Your Pot (2)

CHORUS Hiya, hiya, hiya, hiya – I’m a hydra Got more heads than little legs upon a spidah Cut one off and two grow back that might surprise yah You will die after you try to kill a hydra Two heads are better than one which means I’m best I will beat anyone in any contest My blood is venomous and chock full of muck It takes a single drop to make you say goodbye to life so... Chorus If you go to Lerna then that’s where I stay The fumes are poisonous so best stay away When you are chthonic then you’re quite down to earth Creatures who live in the soil will make you say goodbye to life so... Chorus Hiya Hiya Hiya (1)

Here I am at the stable And a thousand cattle all live here There’s no-one at the stable Who has cleaned it out in thirty years So the smell at the stable Brings a tear or two into the eye Don’t breath in at the stable If do you’ll quickly find out why There is poo at the stable And it towers up into the air Watch your step at the stable There is mess around you best beware It is gross at the stable And my tasks is not a pleasant one Wish me luck at the stable It’s a labour that will run and run Thirty Years of Poo (1)

I am really gonna struggle What in Zeus’ name should I do? I’ll need more than just a struggle To clean up thirty years of poo When you’ve got a thousand cattle And there’s not a single loo You’ll need more than Mr Muscle To clean up thirty years of poo I’ve tried moving some in buckets I could manage one or two But the stench was overwhelming From thirty years of poo I’ve tried giving some to gardners Cause it’s good for roses too But they wanted it by sackful Not as thirty years of poo Thirty Years of Poo (2)

Year 6 Leavers’ Concert 2013