Life is filled with human interactions:

1. Life is filled with human interactions: Engaging and partnering with clients, co-workers and communities Lois Seefeldt, RN, PhD 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference Elkhart Lake, WI

2. PRESENTATION OBJECTIVES • 1. Describe engagement and partnering as optimal client, agency and peer interaction components. 2. Identify how communication encourages or discourages engagement and/or partnering.3. Identify and demonstrate at least two techniques for engaging others in optimal encounters.4. Identify one outcome of positive communication related to engagement and partnering. Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

3. From where do we get our ideas of engagement and partnering? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

4. Development of relationships • Bowlby (1980) first proposed the idea of how we develop our ideas of interactions with others • First attachments • Ongoing relationship experiences • How we respond to others • How others respond to us • Real and perceived expectations are formed about future interactions • A mental blueprint (map) is developed and becomes our INTERNAL WORKING MODEL for future interactions Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

5. Engagement and Partnering Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

6. What does everyone want? • CLIENTS?? • COWORKERS?? COMMUNITIES?? WHAT IS AT THE HEART OF MOST CONFLICTS? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

7. Engagement and Partnering • How would clients define……. • How would co-workers define….. • How would teachers, social workers, nurses, therapists define….. • How would community agencies define……. • How do you define…….. Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

8. partnering • What words mean Partnering? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

9. partnering • Associating Affiliating • Uniting Connecting • Accompanying Escorting • Teaming-up Linking-in Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

10. Partnering Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

11. engaging • What words mean Engaging? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

12. engaging • Involving Occupying • Engrossing Absorbing • Participating Connecting • Interlocking Meshing • Attracting Holding Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

13. Engagement Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

14. ENGAGEMENT AND PARTNERING • In her 2008 article “Strategies for engaging adolescent girls at an emergency shelter in a therapeutic relationship: recommendations from the girls themselves” Karin Eyrich-Garg identified the work of Coatsworth et al, 2001 and Robbins, et al, 2003, that “engaging clients is the first step in forming a working relationship…. if clients are not engaged, they will likely not return for another session, attend but not participate in treatment, or attend and participate minimally in treatment.” (p. 376) Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

15. ENGAGEMENT AND PARTNERING • In her 2008 article “Strategies for engaging adolescent girls at an emergency shelter in a therapeutic relationship: recommendations from the girls themselves” Karin Eyrich-Garg identified the work of Coatsworth et al, 2001 and Robbins, et al, 2003, that “engaging clients is the first step in forming a working relationship…. if clients are not engaged, they will likely not return for another session, attend but not participate in treatment, or attend and participate minimally in treatment.” (p. 376). • COLLABORATIVE RELATIONSHIP Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

16. What do we want from encounters? • What do clients want? • What do you want when interacting with clients? • What do you want when interacting with community agencies? • What is similar and overlaps? • What is different? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

17. How do you know when you have a satisfying interaction • Think about the most satisfying interaction you have had with: • A client • An agency • A co-worker • A community group • What made it satisfying? • Did the other person feel that satisfaction? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

18. What do Non-engaged, non-partnered interactions…….. • Look like? • Sound like? • Feel like? • End like? What are the outcomes? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

19. When non-engagement and non-partnering what occurs in the… • Client home • Community agency • Your office • The daycare setting • The classroom • How does this affect outcomes and end results? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

20. “Wait they’re going In opposite directions!! Did they hear me?” Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

21. When Partnering and engagement do not occur • What gets in the way of partnering and engagement for the: • Client • Agencies • You Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

22. Basic needs Self actualization Self esteem Comfort and belonging Safety and security Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

23. challenges The Difficult or Demanding Person Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

24. connecting with a difficult PERSON • What gets in the way? • Leads to “poor helping relationships”(de Boer & Coady, 2007) • Clients perceived disrespected, judged, demeaned, not being heard or understood ”(de Boer & Coady, 2007) Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

25. connecting with a difficult Person • Engaging co-workers and staff requires the same principles as with clients and community members • Muha & Manion (2010) identified that there needs to be “positive psychology..” in the workplace (p.50). Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

26. challenges When someone’s culture is different from our own Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

27. Engaging others of cultures different than our own • Often feel powerless to express their needs to the professional especially if basic needs have not been attended • Often as a result feel has not been “heard” • Caple, Salcido, & di Cecco (1995) Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

28. 4 principles of “perspective building” in relation to clients, CO-WORKERS AND COMMUNITY MEMBERS of differing cultures FROM OUR OWN • No single American culture • Diversity within each culture • Acculturation is dynamic and individual • Diversity needs to be acknowledged and valued • We must be inclusive in our interactions Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

29. Principles of “perspective building” in differing cultures • Use of basic etiquette • Listen • Cultural check-in with client • Identify cultural imperatives---expectations, rituals and taboos • Use interpreters • Words and body communication-----Be aware Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

30. challenges What if the difficult person is a co-worker or your boss? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

31. Reflecting the Mission and Values of YOUR ORGANIZATION • Living the mission and vision of your organization • Engagement and Partnering as core values of your organization • How do you demonstrate the mission and values in your daily interactions? • Is there a “lived” integrity in your daily mission and work? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

32. Positive interactions with staff/coworkers/others • 6 Principles of Positive Psychology (Muha & Manion, 2010) • Passion—wanting to achieve the most optimal functioning—this is most often intrinsic—so needs to be tapped into • Relationships—work well only when there are more than 5 positive encounters for every 1 negative encounter • Optimists—look for mutual satisfaction within solutions to problems—appreciate the positives • Proactive—consistently using ones strengths to achieve the best outcome—looks at the big picture • Energy—routinely recharges to maintain an optimal level of functioning—replenish—help others to replenish • Legacy—knowing your purpose allows you to use your passion for optimal functioning and moving toward the overall outcome Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

33. Engagement and Partnering Viewing each encounter as an opportunity for a sacred interaction of partnering Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

34. Healing and Sacredness • Healing, sacred encounters • what do they have to do with this work? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

35. Quality care and interactions (Jayne Felgen, 2004) • “Quality care is deeply respectful of the dignity of each person, is attentive to mind, body, and spirit, and promotes the healing power of relationships • A caring and healing environment creates the context for relationship-based, [client]-centered [interactions]. Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

36. Relationship-based interactions Purposeful Connections with others Remember the old Midas commercial… “Pay me now or pay me later” Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

37. COMMUNICATION ENCOURAGING ENGAGEMENT AND PARTNERING Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

38. Ineffective communication • May contribute to: • Failed communications • Errors • Missed information • Missed transfer of information • Lack of an attention to detail • Missed procedural “follow-through” • Misunderstandings of oral or written communication Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

39. How we communicate and how it is interpreted • Verbal • Non-verbal • Written • E-mails Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

40. Demonstrating care The root of engagement and partnering Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

41. According to Kristin Swanson • “When we are being emotionally present for our [clients], they sense that no matter how bad the circumstances might be, we won’t abandon them” • Swanson, K. (2004) Infrastructure: Embedding professional nursing practice in relationship-based care. In M. Koloroutis (Ed.), Relationship-based care (p. 324). Minneapolis, MN: Creative Health Care Management. . Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

42. listening • What words mean Listening? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

43. listening • Attending Heeding • Paying-attention Taking-note Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

44. listening • ” Connection between “listening, improved interpersonal communication, professional growth, and job satisfaction” (Madelyn Burley Allen, p. 2) • “If you are a skilled listener, more people will respond to you in a positive way” (Madelyn Burley Allen, p. 2) • “On average people are only about 25 percent effective as listeners.” (Madelyn Burley Allen, p. 3) 2 ears and 1 mouth---gives us a clue Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

45. Kristin Swanson’s Theory of Caring 1993 • Maintaining a Belief • Knowing • Being with • Doing For • Enabling What does genuine caring “feel like” ? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

46. 5 Caring ProcessesKristen swanson 1991 p. 355 Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

47. Structure of CaringKristen Swanson 1993 Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

48. What does…. • What does it feel when someone really listens to you? • What does it feel like to really listen to someone else? • (Madelyn Burley Allen, p. 3) Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

49. Levels of listening ( Madelyn Burley Allen, p. 14) • Level 1 Empathetic Listening • No judgments • In other’s shoes • Hearing their “story” • Swanson’s—”Being with” • Level 2 Hearing the words but not really listening • Surface communication with no “deep meaning understanding • Listen logically • Content-not feeling-emotionally detached • Level 3 Listening in Spurts • Tune in and tune out • Thinking about what is next on own agenda Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference

50. Non-verbal Communication and Listening • Behaviors that encourage the other to speak • Behaviors that dissuade the other from speaking • Our posture, how we sit and/or stand • Positive body movements • Facial expressions • Arm and hand gestures • How do you encourage feedback and discussion? Seefeldt June 17, 2014 Wisconsin Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Conference