Growing Up Right!

1. Growing Up Right! Developmental Issues and Treatment Recommendations for Children Who Witness Violence Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW www.yoursocialworker.com www.yoursocialworker.com

2. One, two, buckle my shoe… The effects of witnessing domestic violence are different depending upon age of the child… www.yoursocialworker.com

3. Seeing it Hearing it Being awakened by it Being injured by it Being ripped from mother's arms Having toys broken Being born prematurely Being hit while in mom's arms Being thrown Physical injury Death Fright Being traumatized by it Sleep disturbances Eating disturbances Being colicky or sick Insecurity because of being cared for by a traumatized mom Not responsive or cuddly 0 – 1 year old Ways of Being Drawn In Effects of Abuse www.yoursocialworker.com Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html

4. 0 – 1 year old What’s Going on Developmentally? www.yoursocialworker.com

5. Seeing it Hearing it Trying to stop altercation Becoming abused themselves Being used as a physical weapon against the victim Being interrogated by perpetrator about victims activities Being held hostage by perpetrator Acting out violently Withdrawal Trouble with other kids Delayed toileting Eating problems Nervous, jumpy Sleep problems Insecurity, fear and Depression 2 – 4 Year Olds Ways of Being Drawn In Effects of Abuse www.yoursocialworker.com Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html

6. 2 – 4 Year Olds What’s Going on Developmentally? www.yoursocialworker.com

7. Seeing & hearing it Picking 1 parent to defend Physically intervening Calling the police Running to neighbors for help Being used as a spy against Mom Forced to participate in attack on Mom Being physically or sexually abused to control Mom Being restricted from contact with others Fear & insecurity Low self esteem Withdrawal/depression Running away Early drug/alcohol use School problems Bedwetting Sexual activity Becoming caretaker of adults Being embarrassed by one's family 5 – 12 Year Olds Ways of Being Drawn In Effects of Abuse www.yoursocialworker.com Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html

8. 5 – 12 Year Olds What’s Going on Developmentally? www.yoursocialworker.com

9. Killing/trying to kill perpetrator Trying to stop the abuse Hitting parent or siblings Becoming physically abused Being used as a spy Being used as a confidante Being coerced by perpetrator to be abusive to mom School problems Social problems Sexual activity Shamed & embarrassed Truancy Super-achiever at school Tendency to get serious relationships too early to escape home Depression Suicide Alcohol/drug use Confusion about gender roles Teen Boys and Girls Effects of Abuse Ways of Being Drawn In www.yoursocialworker.com Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html

10. Learning that males are violent Learning to disrespect women Using violence in his own relationships Confusion or insecurity about being a man Attacking parents or siblings Learning that male violence is normal Learning that women don't get respect Accepting violence in her own relationships Embarrassed about being female Becoming pregnant Gender Specific Effects Effects Specific to Boys Effects Specific to Girls www.yoursocialworker.com Source: http://www.familyrefugecenter.com/effecton.html

11. Teen Boys and Girls What’s Going on Developmentally? www.yoursocialworker.com

12. When Intervening… Safety first. www.yoursocialworker.com

13. Safety First • The safety and security of the child is paramount. • Do not assume the victim (parent) can provide for the child’s security. • The victim’s own distress or secondary problems may over-ride their ability to care for the child. • The victim may may use abusive of coercive strategies to manage the child. www.yoursocialworker.com

14. When Intervening… Structure second. www.yoursocialworker.com

15. Structure second • Daycare • Women’s Shelter • School • Regular mealtimes / nutrition • Regular bedtimes and wake-up time Routine and Predictability Reduce Anxiety www.yoursocialworker.com

16. When Intervening… Treatment third. www.yoursocialworker.com

17. Treatment Third • Consider “Safety” as “Treatment” • Ceases exposure and prevents re-exposure • Consider “Structure” as “Treatment” • Reduced anxiety through stability of routines www.yoursocialworker.com

18. Family School Friends Home / Community More Structural Interventions STRUCTURAL INTERVENTIONS is TREATMENT!!! Child www.yoursocialworker.com

19. When Intervening… and support throughout www.yoursocialworker.com

20. Support Throughout • Instrumental • Access to services (medical, social, educational) • Daycare or school placement • Supplies (from diapers to gym shorts) • Emotional • Counselling – group or individual • A “safe place” or “buddy” www.yoursocialworker.com

21. Emotional Support • Is this a resilient child? • Are there indicators of disturbance? • Does this child necessarily need counselling • Might time and structural interventions mitigate deleterious effects of witnessing DV? • If counselling is indicated, what type? www.yoursocialworker.com

22. Types of Counselling • Individual • Talk • Art/Play/Music • Family • Parent/child, sibling subgroup, entire family • Group • Talk vs. activity based www.yoursocialworker.com

23. Violence Crosses gender • While violence against women by men is most talked about, women also perpetrate violence against men. Further violence can be an issue in same-sex relationships regardless of gender. • While raising violence against women still remains a difficulty in many jurisdictions, many men and same-sex couples find a greater stigma associated with raising the issue and hence these populations often go unserved. www.yoursocialworker.com

24. General Goals of Counselling • Breaking the Silence – demystification • Understanding Roles and Responsibilities • Learning to Identify Feelings • Managing Anger • Identifying Social Supports • Developing Confidence • Learning about the Cycle of Violence • Develop Conflict Resolution Skills • Symptom Reduction • Increasing Safety and Stability • Dealing with Separations www.yoursocialworker.com

25. Growing Up Right! Developmental Issues and Treatment Recommendations for Children Who Witness Violence Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW www.yoursocialworker.com www.yoursocialworker.com