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(c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. . Integrating Emotional Experiences into Enjoyable Relationships. Temperament -- individual's behavioral style and characteristic emotional responsesfewer mood swings than in adolescencemore responsible and engage in less risk-taking behaviorResearchers
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1. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Chapter 12
Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood
PowerPoints developed by Jenni Fauchier, Metropolitan Community College -- Omaha
2. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Integrating Emotional Experiences into Enjoyable Relationships
Temperament -- individual’s behavioral style and characteristic emotional responses
fewer mood swings than in adolescence
more responsible and engage in less risk-taking behavior
Researchers find links between some dimensions of childhood temperament and adult personality
(Thompson & Goodvin, 2005) (Caspi, 1998)
3. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Childhood Temperament Linked to Adult Personality Easy and difficult temperaments
children with easy temperament at age 3 - 5 are likely to be well-adjusted as young adults and vice versa
Inhibition
Individuals who had an inhibited temperament in childhood are less likely than other adults to be assertive
(Chess & Thomas, 1987) (Kagan, 2000, 2002, 2003) (Wachs, 2000)
4. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Ability to control one's emotions (a dimension in Mary Rothbart and John Bates' analysis of temperament)
when 3-year-old children showed good control of their emotions and were resilient in the face of stress, they were likely to continue to handle emotions effectively as adults
when 3-year-olds had low emotional control and were not very resilient, they were likely to show problems in these areas as young adults
(Block, 1993)
5. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Attachment Like temperament, attachment plays an important part in socioemotional development
securely attached infants -- those who use the caregiver as a secure base from which to explore the environment
adults may count on their romantic partners to be a secure base to which they can return and obtain comfort and security when stressed
6. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Conceptualizing and Measuring Adult Attachment Attachment-related anxiety -- the extent to which individuals feel secure or insecure about whether a partner will be available, responsive, and attentive
Attachment-related avoidance -- degree to which individuals feel secure or insecure in relying on others, opening up to them, and being intimate with them
(Brennan, Clark, & Shaver, 1998)
7. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Attraction: Familiarity and Similarity Familiarity is a necessary condition for a close relationship to develop
Consensual validation -- our own attitudes and values are supported when someone else’s attitudes and values validate ours
(Brehm, 2002)
8. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Attraction: Physical Attractiveness Force of similarity also operates at a physical level
Matching hypothesis -- although we may prefer a more attractive person in the abstract, in the real world we end up choosing someone who is close to our own level of attractiveness
Psychologists have determined that heterosexual men and women differ on the importance of good looks
(Kalick & Hamilton, 1986)
9. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Love Love -- vast and complex territory of human behavior, spanning a range of relationships that includes friendship, romantic love, and affectionate love
intimacy -- self-disclosure and the sharing of private thoughts
an inability to develop meaningful relationships with others can harm an individual’s personality
It may lead individuals to repudiate, ignore, or attack those who frustrate them
(Berscheid, 1988)
10. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Erikson’s Stage: Intimacy Versus Isolation After individuals are well on their way to establishing stable and successful identities, they enter the sixth developmental stage, which is intimacy versus isolation
If a person fails to develop an intimate relationship in early adulthood, according to Erikson, isolation results
11. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Intimacy and Independence Development in early adulthood often involves balancing intimacy and commitment with independence and freedom
Intimacy and commitment, and independence and freedom are important themes of development that are worked and reworked throughout the adult years
12. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Friendship Friendship plays an important role in development throughout the human life span
functions of friendship: companionship, intimacy/affection, support, source of self-esteem
friends can provide a better buffer from stress and be a better source of emotional support than family members
adult friends usually come from the same age group
(Dow & Wood, 2006; Monsour, 2006)
13. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Gender Differences in Friendships There are gender differences in adult friendship
Women have more close friends
more self-disclosure and exchange of mutual support
Men want practical solutions to their problems rather than sympathy
adult male friendships are more competitive
(Dow & Wood, 2006) (Gouldner & Strong, 1987) (Tannen, 1990) (Wood, 2001)
14. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Friendships Between Women and Men Cross-gender friendships are more common among adults but not as common as same-gender friendships
Provide both opportunities and problems
opportunities involve learning more about common feelings, interests and shared characteristics, acquiring knowledge and understanding
problems arise because of different expectations
(Fehr, 2000)
15. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Romantic Love Some friendships evolve into romantic love
also called passionate love, or eros
Romantic love has strong components of sexuality and infatuation
often predominates in the early part of a love relationship
(Aron & others, 2005; Brown, 2005)
16. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Affectionate Love Affectionate love -- type of love that occurs when someone desires to have the other person near and has a deep, caring affection for the person
also called companionate love
As love matures, passion tends to give way to affection
(Berscheid & Reis, 1998; Harvey & Weber, 2002)
17. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Sternberg’s Triarchic Theory Sternberg proposed a triarchic theory of love in which love can be thought of as a triangle with three main dimensions—passion, intimacy, and commitment
Passion is physical and sexual attraction to another
Intimacy relates to the emotional feelings of warmth, closeness, and sharing in a relationship
Commitment is the cognitive appraisal of the relationship and the intent to maintain the relationship
(Sternberg, 1988) (Rusbult & others, 2001)
18. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Falling Out of Love Collapse of a close relationship may feel tragic
Being in love when love is not returned can lead to depression, obsessive thoughts, sexual dysfunction, inability to work effectively, difficulty in making new friends, and self-condemnation
Some people get taken advantage of in relationships
19. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Adult Lifestyles: Single or Cohabiting More adults are remaining single longer today
often are stereotyped ranging from the “swinging single” to the “desperately lonely, suicidal” single
Cohabitation -- living together in a sexual relationship without being married
cohabitation has changed
many couples view their cohabitation as an ongoing lifestyle
(DePaulo & Morris, 2005) (Poponoe & Whitehead, 2006; Smock, Manning, & Porter, 2005)
20. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Cohabitation Relationships between cohabiting men and women tend to be more equal than those between husbands and wives
Disadvantages
disapproval by parents
difficulty owning property jointly
legal rights on the dissolution of the relationship are less certain
(Wineberg, 1994)
21. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Marriage Changing norm of male-female equality means marriages are more fragile and intense
More than 90 percent of U.S. women still marry at some point in their lives; projections indicate that in the future this rate will drop into 80 - 90 % range
Average duration of a marriage in the U.S. is currently just over nine years
Aspects of marriage vary across cultures
(Bradbury, Fincham, & Beach, 2000) (Poponoe & Whitehead, 2005)
22. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
23. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Happy versus Unhappy Marriages Individuals who are happily married live longer, healthier lives than either divorced individuals or those who are unhappily married
People in unhappy marriages may experience numerous physical ailments, such as high blood pressure and heart disease, as well as psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse
(Cotten, 1999)
24. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Divorce Increases in divorce are correlated with youthful marriage, low educational level, low income, not having a religious affiliation, divorced parents, having a baby before marriage
Both divorced women and men complain of loneliness, diminished self-esteem, anxiety about the unknowns in their lives, and difficulty in forming satisfactory new intimate relationships
(Amato, 2006; Hetherington, 2006; Wallerstein & Lewis, 2005) (Poponoe & Whitehead, 2005; Rodriques, Hall, & Fincham, 2005)
25. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
26. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Remarriage Divorced adults remarry within four years after their divorce
men remarrying sooner than women
stepfamilies come in many sizes and forms
Parents who remarry may have residential children from prior marriages and a large network of grandparents and other relatives
27. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Gay Male and Lesbian Adults The legal and social context of marriage creates barriers to breaking up
But in other ways, researchers have found that gay and lesbian relationships are similar to heterosexual relationships in their satisfactions, loves, joys, and conflict
Contrary to stereotypes, one partner is masculine and the other feminine in only a small percentage of gay male and lesbian couples
(Hyde & DeLamater, 2006; Oswald & Clausell; Peplau & Beals, 2004)
28. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Making Marriage Work Gottman found seven main principles determining whether a marriage will work:
Establishing love maps
Nurturing fondness and admiration
Turning toward each other instead of away
Letting your partner influence you
Solving solvable conflicts
Overcoming gridlock
Creating shared meaning
(Gottman, 1994; Gottman & Notarius, 2000; Gottman & Silver, 1999; Gottman & others, 1998)
29. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. For Remarried Couples Strategies for coping with the stress of living in a stepfamily include:
Having realistic expectations
Developing new positive relationships within the family
(Visher & Visher, 1989)
30. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Parenting Myths and Reality The birth of a child will save a failing marriage
Having a child gives the parents a “second chance” to achieve what they should have achieved
Parenting is an instinct and requires no training
31. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Trends in Childbearing By giving birth to fewer children, women free up time for other endeavors
Working women invest less actual time in the child’s development
Men are apt to invest a greater amount of time in fathering
Parental care is often supplemented by institutional care
The balance between caring/achieving, nurturing/working can be achieved
(Lorensen & others, 2004)
32. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. After Divorce In E. Mavis Hetherington’s research, men and women took six common pathways in exiting divorce
the enhancers
the good-enoughs
the seekers
the libertines
the competent loners
the defeated
(Hetherington & Kelly, 2002)
33. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Strategies for Divorced Adults Hetherington recommends these:
Think of divorce as a chance to grow personally and to develop more positive relationships
Make decisions carefully
Focus more on the future than the past
Use your strengths and resources to cope with difficulties
Don’t expect to be successful and happy in everything you do
Remember that “you are never trapped by one pathway”
(Hetherington & Kelly, 2002)
34. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Gender and Communication Tannen distinguishes two ways of communications:
rapport talk -- language of conversation; a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships
report talk -- talk that is designed to give information; includes public speaking
women enjoy rapport talk more than report talk; men’s lack of interest in rapport talk bothers many women
men prefer to engage in report talk
(Tannen, 1990)
35. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Women’s Development A large part of women’s lives are spent in active participation in the development of others
Competent relationships are those in which the separate “I-ness” of both persons can be appreciated and enhanced
relationship orientation should be prized as a skill in our culture
(Harriet Lerner, 1989) (Dindia, 2006; Hyde, 2005, 2007)
36. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Men’s Development Role-strain view -- male roles are contradictory and inconsistent
Areas where men’s roles can cause strain
health
male-female relationships
male-male relationships
(Joseph Pleck, 1995) (Levant, 2002; Levant & Brooks, 1997)
37. (c) 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. Reconstructing Masculinity Every man should:
reexamine his beliefs about manhood
separate out the valuable aspects of the male role
get rid of those parts of the masculine role that are destructive
Become more emotionally intelligent -- more emotionally self-aware, managing emotions more effectively, reading emotions better
(Levant, 2002)