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LOVE RELATIONSHIPS From A Christian Perspective. Gregory J. Knapp, J.D. www.knappministries.org loverelationships@knappministries.org. © 2004 Gregory J. Knapp. GOALS OF SEMINAR. BIBLE-BASED SEMINAR TO EMPOWER YOU: Identify “True Love” Solve your love relationship problems
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LOVE RELATIONSHIPSFrom A Christian Perspective Gregory J. Knapp, J.D. www.knappministries.org loverelationships@knappministries.org ©2004 Gregory J. Knapp Love Relationships
GOALS OF SEMINAR BIBLE-BASED SEMINAR TO EMPOWER YOU: • Identify “True Love” • Solve your love relationship problems • Distinguish various types of love • Choose the type of love relationship you want • Become the type of lover you chose to be • Have a love relationship worth living Love Relationships
AGENDA • CONCEPTS OF LOVE • TYPES OF LOVE • Defined • Characteristics • Examples • Results • TYPES OF LOVE COMPARED • PRACTICAL IMPLEMENTATION • CHOOSING LOVE RELATIONSHIP TYPES Love Relationships
CONCEPTS OF LOVE • WE ARE ALL LONELY AND WANT TO BE LOVED • GOD AGREES • It is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18) • We were created for relationships – with God, family, and others • Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30) • Love your neighbor as you love yourself (Mark 12:31) • GOD'S HIGH CALLING FOR US • God’s command is not just to love one another, but to be a special type of lover: An “agape”(Greek) lover – or “true lover” • God distinguishes between this type of love and all others • Everyone needs to fully understand “agape”; you cannot follow God’s command if you don’t understand what He is commanding Love Relationships
CONCEPTS OF LOVE • EXAMPLES HELP “CALIBRATE” OUR IDEA OF LOVE • DO WE REALLY LOVE THE ONES WE THINK WE LOVE? (Romance vs. Passion) • WHY DO WE FAIL IN THIS VITAL AREA OF OUR LIFE? • We’ve never been taught what “true love” is • Natural man does not instinctively understand or practice love • True love is not an intense form of “like” • Most people do not understand there are many distinct forms of love, each with a different mode of operation and result • Many people mistake romance or sex for “love” Love Relationships
CONCEPTS OF LOVE THE NATURE OF WORDS • A word is just a symbol for something else • The context in which a word is used may significantly change what the symbol stands for • A symbol can represent anything that both parties agree upon • If both parties do not agree on what a symbol (word) stands for, especially in context, no communication, or at best miscommunication, takes place • “Svarkn the glibit!” Gibberish unless you know what the speaker means! • Meaning of words often depend on who is saying them and who is hearing them. Example of “Secure the building!” Love Relationships
CONCEPTS OF LOVE • SUMMARY: The English word “love” has many different meanings depending on intent, manner of usage, inflection of voice, context, and history • The Greek language, of which most of the New Testament is written, is very expressive, and has many words for “love”, each with its own special meaning • This seminar will help you understand love relationships by concentrating on three Greek words:Eros, Phileo, andAgape Love Relationships
EROS M W M W W 2 W W M M W 1 2 1 • English: “Erotica”, but not limited to sex • A “taking” action A B • Self-oriented • Natural • Advertising feeds on this • Attitudes caused: - Life is gypping me - Angry; disappointed • Result: Unstable “Live Together” Relationship • Duration: short • Example: Love Relationships
PHILEO M W W M 40% A B IF • English: Philadelphia; philanthropy; brotherly love • A “give and take” A B • Civilized • Taught this all our life • Friendship; sharing • Performance Oriented; demands perfection; never satisfied • Selfishness by agreement • Attitudes caused: You owe me • Fear/domination • Looks like “love,” but can feel coldness • Result: Good “Live Together”, but Poor Marriage; can end at any time Love Relationships
AGAPE A B B A M W W M HW HW HW HW H W • No English equivalent; closest: “divine love” “true love” • Giving, without thought of return • Others-Oriented • Focuses only on other’s highest good • Unnatural; unselfish; doesn’t make sense • Sacrifices self for others, whether “worthy” or not • World owes you nothing • If expect nothing, you are not disappointed • Result: Life of thanksgiving; Good marriage • Attitudes caused: You owe me nothing • Freedom; no demands on others! • Can feel the warmth when received • Result: Life of joy; Good Marriage • The Two become One • Stable, secure, and never ends Love Relationships
PRACTICAL IMPLEMENTATION • Varies in area of expression • Varies in love types minute-to-minute • Varies in focus of love – a balancing act • What happens if the other person is a different type of lover? • Focus on God’s will • Agape means servanthood Love Relationships
CHARACTERISTICS OF AGAPE • Agape is patient, agape is kind, and is not jealous; agape does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Agape never fails! (1 Corinthians 13). • Agape is fearless: You will have no fear in agape (1 John 3:18). • Agape is giving: Greater agape has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13). • Agape is caring: For God so loved (agape’d) the world (you), that He gave His only begotten Son (to die in your place on a cross as payment in full for your sins), that whosoever believes (trusts) in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16). • Agape’s for lovers of “light”: For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him...For this is the judgment: That the light (agape) is come into the world, and men loved the darkness (eros) rather than the light (agape) (John 3:17,19). Love Relationships
LOVE TYPES COMPARED Love Relationships
LOVE TYPES COMPARED Love Relationships
LOVE TYPES COMPARED Love Relationships
LOVE TYPES COMPARED Love Relationships
CHOOSE AGAPE! • WHAT DOES GOD WANT YOU TO DO? • This is my commandment, that you love (agape) one another just as I have loved (agape’d) you (John 15:12) • Let all that you do be done in love (agape) (1 Corinthians 16:14) • WHAT IF YOU DECIDE TO NOT BE AN AGAPE LOVER? • If I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but do not have love (agape), I have become a noisy gong or clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love (agape), I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love (agape), it profits me nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3) Love Relationships
HOW TO BECOME AN AGAPE LOVER ASK GOD TO MAKE YOU AN AGAPE-LOVER BY: 1. Admitting to God that you haven't been an agape lover, and thus have violated His Commandment to agape one another. Love (agape) God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love (agape) your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37,39). For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory (agape) of God (Romans 3:23). And the wages of sin is death (separation from God and man) (Romans 6:23). If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). 2. Repenting (turning away from the way you’ve been walking), by turning over control of your life to God, and submitting to God's control (Luke 13:5 and Romans 12:1-2). 3. Believing (trusting) that the Lord Jesus Christ died on the cross and shed His blood to pay the price for your sins and that He rose again (Romans 10:9). For God demonstrated His love (agape) for you in that while you were yet a sinner, Jesus died for you (Romans 5:8). 4. Asking Jesus to take control (be Lord) of your life and by confessing with your mouth that He is now Lord of your life (Romans 10:10). Be sincere when you ask Him to be Lord. Jesus said: “Why do you call me Lord and do not do what I say?” (Luke 6:46). Love Relationships
HOW TO BECOME AN AGAPE LOVER ASK GOD TO MAKE YOU AN AGAPE-LOVER BY (Continued): 5. Asking God to come into your life, to save you from your sins, to give you eternal life, and to fill your life with agape (Romans 10:13). He saves us from a life of eros/phileo and pain, and brings us into a kingdom of agape. “For by grace (God’s unmerited favor) are you saved through faith...it is the gift of God; not a result of works, lest any man should boast (Ephesians 2:8,9). Not by works of righteousness we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us (Titus 3:5). 6. Trusting God for the fulfillment of His glorious plan for your life. “‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope’” (Jeremiah 29:11). “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:4). 7. Following Jesus. “If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). Love (agape) God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love (agape) your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37,39). Seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness, and all things will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). Love Relationships
CONCLUSION • God is pure agape (1 John 4:8) • He demands we WALK it, not just talk it (1 John 3:11, 16-18) • Every moment of every day, realize the type of love you are engaged in • Choose agape • Do not discriminate or be selective, but be wise. God even said to love your enemies and do good to them. (Luke 6:27) Quit living a cold transactional life (you get what you pay for)… and start living a life worth living… giving to others without thought of return… bringing joy, happiness and love into an otherwise cold and lonely world! Love Relationships