Define, recognize and prevent sexual harassment.

1. Objectives • Define, recognize and prevent sexual harassment. Identify the traits that are present in a healthy and abusive relationships.

2. Michigan Merit Curriculum • Social Emotional Health & Health Behaviors • 4.1 Identify the characteristics of positive relationships, and analyze their impact on personal, family and community health. • 4.7 Apply decision making and problem-solving steps to generate alternative solutions regarding social situations that could place one’s health or safety at risk. • 4.8 Predict the potential short and long-term impacts of each alternative on self and others, and defend the healthy choice(s). • 5.4 Demonstrate the ability to access accurate information about personal health products. • 3.17 Apply strategies to hypothetical situations involving abusive relationships. • 3.8 Demonstrate strategies to stay safe in a violent situation. • 3.9 Apply skills and strategies for avoiding and dealing with sexual harassment and exploitation, including when using the internet. • 3.10 Assess characteristics of hypothetical relationships for warning sign of harm or abuse. • 3.7 Apply strategies to avoid and report dangerous situations including conflicts involving weapons and gangs. • 3.11 Analyze social pressures to refrain from telling on others or reporting dangerous situations. • 3.12 Analyze the role of friends and peers in the escalation of conflicts and the promotion of violence.

3. Michigan Merit • Health Behaviors • 3.1 Explain the effects of violence on individuals, families, communities, and our nation. • 3.2 Describe the characteristics of situations which are dangerous, and those that must be reported to the authorities. • 3.3 Define and describe bullying, sexual violence, and sexual harassment, and their effects on individuals and communities. • 3.6 Apply strategies to access and get help for self or others. • 3.7 Apply strategies to avoid and report dangerous situations, including conflicts involving weapons and gangs. • Demonstrate strategies to stay in a violent situation. • 3.11 Analyze social pressure to refrain from telling on others or reporting dangerous situations.

4. Health Terms • Relationship – is a bond or connection between people. • Friendship – is a significant relationship between two people based on caring, consideration, and trust. • Role – is a part that you play in a relationship. • Cooperation – working together for the good of all. • Compromise – is the result of each person’s giving up something in order to reach a solution that satisfies everyone. • Empathy – the ability to imagine and understand how someone else feels.

5. Health Concepts • Relationships affect your physical, mental, and social health. • You play many differentroles in your relationships. • Cooperation and compromise are important aspects of a healthy relationship. • Mutual trust and respect are cornerstones or a responsible relationship. • Good relationships take timeand energy!

6. Relationships Self - Inventory How do you rate? Write the numbers 1 – 10 on a page in your workbook “notes” section. Respond by writing yes, no, or sometimes for each item. Write yes only for the items that you practice regularly. • I treat others with respect. • I am a good team player. • I am a trustworthy friend. • I often use compromise to resolve differences.

7. Respond by writing yes, no, or sometimes for each item. Write yes only for the items that you practice regularly. 5. I am willing to work at my relationships 6. I communicate well with others. 7. I am a good listener. • I ask questions if I’m not sure what is being said. • I use eye contact when communicating with others. • I am aware of my own body language.

8. Healthy Relationships • The habits we just identified relate to building and maintaining healthy relationships? (Respect, team player, trustworthy, compromise, communicate, good listener, ask questions, eye contact, and body language)

9. Definition of Sexual Harassment • Any unwanted and unwelcome sexual behavior which interferes with a person’s education or employment by creating a hostile or intimidating learning or work environment. • It can be nonverbal. • It can be verbal. • It can involve physically touching another person.

10. Nonverbal- • Obscene gestures • Suggestive looks • Lewd notes • Graffiti which degrades a person • Stalking • Pornographic material • Cornering or blocking free movement

11. Verbal- • Dirty comments • Sexual innuendoes • Gender-specific comments • Request for sexual favors • Taunting and teasing • Jokes about a person’s body, clothing, or gender • Spreading sexual rumors • Obscene songs • Making noised (whistling, howling, etc.) • Name-calling • Physical threats

12. Physical • Unwanted touching • Patting and/or pinching • Bumping • Pushing • Pulling at clothes

13. What Do You Think? • Assignment: divide students into groups or alone and give them one of the following questions to answer. • 1. What do you think is the difference between sexual harassment and flirting? • 2. Do you think both men and women are sexually harassed? • 3. For what reasons do you think a person sexually harasses another person? • 4. How do you think someone who is sexually harassed feels?

14. What do you think is the difference between sexual harassment and flirting? • Flirting: fun, friendly, can compliment another person, can show affection, exciting, welcomed, wanted, mutual. • Sexual Harassment: uses power, hostile condescending, aggressive, exploits a person, tries to dominate or control another person, unwelcome. Do you think it is possible for one person to think he/she is flirting and the recipient to take the comments or behavior as harassment? Each of us may interpret someone’s behavior differently.

15. Do you think both men and women are sexually harassed? • Women report being harassed by men more frequently than men report being harassed by women. However, both men and women can and do sexually harass others • For what reasons do you thing a person sexually harasses another person? • They want to demean, control, embarrass, or humiliate another person. Often it is because they are unsure of themselves and trying to gain power, status, or attention in a negative way and at the expense of another person.

16. How do you think someone who is sexually harassed feels? • He or she might feel afraid, anxious, ashamed, embarrassed, angry, humiliated, devalued, insecure, guilty, physically ill, dirty, weak, and/or isolated. He or she might have mixed feelings. He or she may feel flattered initially and then angry and humiliated if the comments and actions persist.

17. Sexual harassment is against the law, at school and at work. • Quid Pro Quo: occurs in situations of unequal power. It means “If you do something for me, I’ll do something for you” or “If you don’t do something for me, I won’t do something for you.” (boss promise a raise for sex) • Hostile Environment: is unwanted sexual behavior which creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive atmosphere in which it is hard for an employee to work or a student to learn.

18. Dealing with Sexual Harassment • Manage your anger. • Identify the behavior that is making you feel uncomfortable. Tell the aggressor what is bothering you and that you want it to stop. • Stay calm. • Leave the situation. • If you can’t leave, move away from the person. • Tell a trusted adult. Get support from a parent, teacher, counselor, etc. Report it to the authorities. • If you fear further trouble, avoid areas where the person might be. • Protect yourself.

19. Dealing with Sexual Harassment • Say “stop” the first time it happens, not later. • Document the incident. Record: what happened, where it happened, when it happened, how you felt, how you responded, what happened next, who else was there, whether you reported it. • Know your school’s and employer’s sexual harassment policies. • Do not laugh at obscene jokes or comments. • Trust your feelings. If someone feels uncomfortable, take steps to stop the behavior. • Treat others with respect. • Maintain personal space. • Ignore the situation. (May be effective if the harasser is looking for a reaction.) • Seek help from an adult you trust.

20. Prevention: • Avoid isolated areas • walk confidently.

21. Abusive stats • 20 percent of teens have been threatened by their partners, or had partners threaten to hurt themselves if the relationship ended.  • 33 percent of teens, and 50 percent of teen girls, say they have felt pressured to have sex in a serious relationship.  • 30 percent have worried about their safety in a relationship, and 20 percent have been hit, slapped, or pushed.  • 64 percent have been with a jealous or controlling partner.  • 55 percent have compromised their standards to keep their partner.  • 25 percent have been put down or called names by their partner.

22. Abusive Relationships • In our society what are the desired characteristics and expectations for males and females? Do these beliefs impact behavior? • In our society, it appears that males are supposed to… • Be in control of situations. • Like competition and want to win. • Be aggressive. • Be dominant. • Take care of females. • Be forceful. • Be powerful. • Be unemotional. • Be strong.

23. Females • Emotional. • Polite and accommodating. • Passive. • Submissive. • Attentive to the needs of others. • Nonaggressive. • Dependent. • Gentle. • Weak. • Attractive.

24. The characteristics and expectations that society holds as true for men and women can impact how they act with one another. • Many of the expectations are rigid and limiting. • Violence in couples is often fueled by rigid and limiting expectations held regarding the behavior of men and women. • For example, a man might believe he is expected to be in control of situations and aggressive. If he dates a woman who is not submissive, he may use aggression to try to control the situation.

25. Statements often used by males and females is abusive relationships • “When women say ‘no’ they mean “yes.” • “If a women comes on to me and then she says ‘no’ what am I suppose to do? I’m turned on.” • “If a person pays for dinner, the other person owes him or her sex.” • “He or she must have asked for it.” • “I know he or she loves me. He or she takes me nice places and gives me gifts all the time.” • I guess I deserve what I get.”

26. Statements often used by males and females is abusive relationships • “I took charge of the situation. Isn’t that what the guy is supposed to do?” • I got really turned on so I started touching her even though she was pushing my hands away.” • He gets real mad sometimes, but he’s also sweet. I guess I have to take both. I love him.” • “Women can prevent it if they want to.” • “If it’s so bad, why doesn’t he or she leave?”

27. Statements often used by males and females is abusive relationships • “If she didn’t want to be raped, she shouldn’t dress that way.” • “She’s so jealous. She want me with her all the time. I guess she really cares a lot for me.” • “Well, she never really said ‘no.’ I thought she meant is was okay.” • “She came back to my room and started kissing me. So, I knew she wanted to have sex.” • “If a guy gets really turned on, he just can’t stop.”

28. ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS • Emotional Abuse: • name calling, put-downs, blaming, telling someone they are crazy, public or private humiliation, false accusations of flirting, or infidelity, threatening physical harm or sexual abuse, attempts to isolate the person from friends and family.

29. Physical Abuse: hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, pinching, use of weapons. • Sexual Abuse: forcing another person to do anything sexual that they do not want to do, even if they have been dating for a long time; any sexual activity that makes another person feel uncomfortable, afraid, degraded, or worthless; rape (intercourse without consent whether in marriage, with a stranger, or with an acquaintance.

30. Conflict in any relationship is normal, but it is not normal or acceptable to hurt each other to control or dominate the other person. • Cycle of Abuse • Stage One: Tension Builds • Stage Two: Explosion (Abuse) • Stage Three: The Honeymoon. • (Making UP)

31. Cycle of Abuse • Stage One: Tension Builds • The abuser becomes edgy and tense. He or she seems easily irritated. • His or her partner may feel scared or nervous and try hard to keep the abuser happy. • Stage Two: Explosion • The abuser becomes more aggressive and verbally and/or physically attacks his or her partner. • His or her partner may feel like he or she deserved the abuse and will most likely try to cover it up.

32. Cycle of Abuse • Stage Three: The Honeymoon • The abuser attempts to keep the relationship together. • He or she promises to change and says that it won’t happened again. • He or she is apologetic, passionate, and often romantic. • He or she often gives his or her partner gifts. • His or her partner believes that the or she can change the abuser or be “good enough” so that it won’t happen again.

33. Unless the abuser and his or her partner get professional help, the cycle will continue no matter what the abuser says during the honeymoon stage. • In fact, the violence tends to escalate and increase in severity as long as the relationship exist. • Look at the page called “Warning Signs”. • This list may help you to leave a relationship before it gets abusive. • Help is available, phone number on back side.

34. “What To Do” • Look at the page “What to Do to Prevent and Deal with Abusive Relationships. • Which strategies do you think are most effective? • Can you suggest any other strategies or skills?

35. What Do You Think? • In groups or alone read the three scenarios and answer the questions.