RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions

1. RECOGNIZING & RESOLVING CONFLICT Creating “Win-Win” Solutions

2. Course Objectives • Understand the nature of conflict • Review two types of conflict • Learn a three-step resolution process • Apply the four paths to self-awareness • Identify the five conflict styles and when to use them

3. “A good manager doesn’t try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep it from wasting the energies of his people.” – Robert Townsend

4. The Nature of Conflict • Exists at home, work, society, etc. • Cannot be avoided • Produces anxiety, anger, frustration • Natural part of life • Seek • Accept • Avoid

5. Types of Conflict

6. Types of Conflict Man Against Self Internal conflict Moral dilemmas Fear/ anxiety Mixed feelings Dual nature Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

7. Types of Conflict Man Against Man External conflict Very difficult Personality issues “I win, you lose” Disputes Resentment Frustration Revenge

8. Resolution Process

9. Three Step Process • Get all the facts out in the open. • Do everything you can to understand each other’s point of view. • Find a solution that benefits both parties.

10. “Rarely is Win/Win easily achieved in any circumstance. When you’re dealing with a person who is coming from a paradigm of Win/Lose, you stay longer in the communication process. You listen more. You express yourself with greater courage. You keep hammering it out until the other person begins to realize that you genuinely want the resolution to be a real win for both of you.” • Stephen Covey, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

11. Activity One hot Saturday a young couple found themselves facing a major interpersonal difference. The husband had his heart set on watching playoff games on television all day long. The wife was under pressure to finish a research paper she was writing for a college class, and she needed the internet to complete it. They had a small house with only one air-conditioned room, and it was extremely hot and humid that particular day. The television and the computer were in the same room, the only air conditioned area of the apartment.

12. Four Paths to Self-Awareness

13. Intrapersonal Awareness: Take an inventory of who you are as a person. What are your strengths, weaknesses, personality traits? How do you deal with conflict? Are you aggressive, passive or passive aggressive? What are the differences? Are you timid, shy or intimidating? Your personality and behaviors impact the manner in which you deal with conflict and how others act and react to you.

14. Clues About Ourselves: Are you approachable? Do people want to speak with you or do you sense they are avoiding you? When you ask others to do something, are they hesitant, eager or rebellious? How others behave indicates something about you. Every encounter, whether positive or negative, is an opportunity for you to learn something about you. Take advantage of each learning opportunity.

15. Seek Feedback and Practice Self-Disclosure: Often others see us more clearly than we see ourselves. Seek the opinion of someone who will give you honest feedback, positive and negative, on who you are as a person and what you can improve about yourself. Practice self-disclosure. Be open about weaknesses and strengths to a trusted friend and to yourself. This process will help you as you seek personal growth and professional development.

16. Formal and informal behavior appraisal: Give yourself regular checkups on personal behavior patterns. When certain elements exist, how do you behave? Do you react emotionally, or do you tend to think before you act—considering how your actions impact your environment, including colleagues and employees you supervise. Take time for formal behavior appraisals designed to help you improve. The objective is to monitor and align your thoughts and behaviors to a higher standard that is exemplary and admirable. Whether you are a manager, elected official or employee, your behavior needs to transcend the ordinary.

17. Conflict Styles

18. 5 Conflict Styles Matrix High Dictate Collaborate Concern for Self ADVOCACY Compromise Avoid Accommodate Concern for Others Low High EMPATHY

19. When to Use the Five Styles

20. Summary • Conflict is a natural part of life • Two types of conflict include man vs. self and man vs. man • We can resolve conflict using a three-step process • Four paths to self-awareness can help us resolve conflict • Different conflict styles require approaches