Jeff Poiner jpoiner@comcast

1. Ann Arbor District Leadership Day Conference Youth Protection Policy & CyberSafety Awareness Jeff Poinerjpoiner@comcast.net February 5, 2011

2. Agenda • Introduction • Making Church a Safe Place • Background • Goal of a Protection Policy for your congregation • Difference between Local and District Policy • General Rules and Procedures for Consideration • Next Steps • CyberSafety Awareness • Background • Cyberbulling, Social Network, Texting, Identity Theft • Closing Thoughts

3. Background When the crowd tried to keep the children away from Jesus, he was quick to respond. “Let the Children come to me” Jesus taught that children were to be included and provided for within the community of faith. Today, the church may be the only place where some children find the unconditional love and care they so desperately need to grow and thrive. In 1996, the Council of Bishops called upon The United Methodist Church to reshape its life in response to the crisis among children. “A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds. Almost five children die everyday as a result of child abuse. More than three out of four are under the age of 4.” www.childhelp.org

4. Baptismal Covenant(p.44 The United Methodist Hymnal) Pastor: Do you as a congregation accept the responsibility of assisting these parents in fulfillment of the baptismal vows, and do you undertake to provide facilities and opportunities for Christian nurture and fellowship? People: We will, by the grace of God. Pastor: Members of the household of faith, I commend to your love and care this child, whom we this day recognize as a member of the family of God. Will you endeavor so to live that this child may grow in the knowledge and love of God, through our Savior Jesus Christ? People: With God’s help we will so order our lives after the example of Christ, that this child, surrounded by steadfast love, may be established in the faith, and confirmed and strengthened in the way that leads to life eternal.

5. Goals of a Protection Policy • Promote a safe and nurturing environment for all children, youth, and vulnerable persons who participate in events sponsored by the Detroit Conference, its Districts, and Agencies. • Protecting children youth, and vulnerable persons from abuse and neglect. • Protecting our care providers from false accusations of abuse or neglect. • Minimize potential Detroit conference & local church liability.

6. Type of Policies

7. General Rules and Procedures: Two Adult Rule [not spouses] Windows In All Classrooms No Workers Under (16) Sixteen Four -Years-Older Rule Open Door Counseling First Aid/CPR Training • Participation Covenant For All Participants/Leaders • Annual Orientation For Workers • Advance Notice To Parents • Parent and Family Education • Appropriate Equipment and Supervision • Unsupervised Time • Supervising person’s with a background of abuse

8. General Rules and Procedures: Recruiting - Screening Written Application Forms Six Month Affiliation Rule Criminal Background Checks Local-State-National Policy Process in the event someone has a you have a situation • Participation Covenant • Additional Considerations • Personal Reference Forms • Driver’s License Checks • Personal Interviews

9. General Rules and Procedures: Reporting Procedure • In most settings you will: • Contact the event director. • Contact the Michigan Department of Human Services (DHS). • Follow the instructions of DHS. • Submit the paper work supplied by DHS. • If parents are notified, they shall be informed of what steps have been taken. (Only contact the parents if DHS instructs you to.) • Once a report has been made, your primary responsibility will be to assure the safety and security of the individual about whom a report was made. • You can not keep confidences if anyone reports to you that: • They are going to commit suicide. • They are going to hurt another person. • They report that they have been abused sexually or physically • If you know any of the above or you suspect physical or sexual abuse, you are required by law to report these to the Department of Human Services in Michigan within 72 hours of the report made to you. • Maintain confidences

10. Questions to ask about your current Insurance coverage. • How much coverage do you have? What are the limits? • Do you specifically have Sexual Abuse and Molestation (SAM) insurance? • Who is covered? Who is not covered? • Exactly what is covered—criminal lawsuits/defendant until found guilty, innocent? Punitive damages are never covered. • What do you do if there is an allegation?

11. Make a safe place for everyone Brotherhood Insurance • Agent was very helpful, sent information • Complete and Submit application that you have background check process in place submit and you will receive a discount on your premium. Church Mutual • Agent referenced me to their website • No discount available as of January 2011 • Begin a Conversation with your; • Youth Teams • Board of Trustees • Staff Parish Relations Committee and Staff. • Establish a Local Policy with supporting processes and make available for your congregation to review/utilize. • Review current insurance policy

12. Questions?

13. CyberSafetyAwareness

14. Proverbs 22:6 NRSV Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray. 7

15. CyberSafety Awareness Raise the awareness to be proactive in keeping children and youth safe in the Internet-based world of computers, cell phones and video games.  Cyberbulling Social Media Texting / Sexting Identity Theft

16. Safety Rules • Acceptable places - Where your child is allowed to go in the community? • Friends & strangers - Who your child can visit and socialize with • Activities - Talking to and associating with strangers? • Visitors - Do you make a effort to know your child? • Curfew - Do you have one for your child? • Risky behaviors - Do you set rules and monitor risky behaviors such as the use of alcohol and drugs? • Content of media - Do you set rules about what your child is allowed to watch on TV or at the movies?

17. Cyber Safety Rules ∧ • Acceptable places – Do you have clear, specific rules governing what types of websites your child can visit? • Friends & strangers – Do you have clear rules about whom your child can e-mail, text message, or send instant messages to? • Activities – Have you set a clear expectation that your children should never communicate online with someone they don’t know in real life? • Visitors - Do you know all the people in your child’s online address book or friends list on their social network page? • Curfew - Do you limit the time of day and the amount of time your child is allowed to use the computer? • Risky behaviors - Do you monitor your child's online activities? • Content of media- Do you know how to use parental control on your Computer of Phone

18. Cyberbulling Definition: Cyberbullying is the use of technology for harassment, impersonation, denigration, trickery, exclusion and stalking. • Cyberbulliesmay use email, chat rooms, discussion forums, instant messaging, text messaging or social networking sites. • Over 80 percent of teens use a cell phone regularly, making it the most popular form of technology and a common medium for cyber bullying • 42% of kids have been bullied while online. 1 in 4 have had it happen more than once. • Headline news provides opportunities for discussion and “teachable moments” • “If I tell someone about bullying, it will just make it worse.” Research shows that bullying will stop when peers or adults get involved.

19. Combating Cyberbulling • Never share passwords • Never participate in cyberbullying or respond to meet with a cyberbully. • Block the bully • Collect evidence - Save proof of the harassment like e-mail messages, screen shots, IM logs, blogs, etc. • Report the activity and tell a trusted adult who can: • File a complaint with the Internet Service Provider or send an email to the host of the web site where the abuse was posted. • Contact the cyberbully’s parents. Contact an attorney or file a small claims action. • A number of young persons have committed suicide following cruel cyberbullying attacks.

20. Social Networking “If Facebook was a Country it would be the 3rd Largest in the World, between China and the US. Twitter would be Number 7th “ Definition: Social network sites (Facebook, MySpace and Xanga) are services that use the Internet to create an interactive network of photos, videos, web logs (blogs) and groups. Youth are no longer restricted to playgrounds, sport teams or malls to meet new people. Digital = Very Accessible Posting a picture on Social Networking is like posting it on a public bulletin board, that anyone can access and deface Users share pictures, video, information, music, and messages. Most are appropriate… Some are inappropriate!

21. Privacy Settings for Facebook Default

22. Social Network Safety • Do not add “friends” you do not know • Follow age restrictions • Use privacy settings to restrict access and review on a frequent basis. • Limit personal information posted • Be a “friend”—Monitor your friend and youth profile page from time to time Create an Awareness Program for Parents and Youth at least once a year. Consider conducting this prior to summer break.

23. Texting / Sexting “80% of teens (12-17) carry mobile phones and One in Three teens (13-19) use their phones to surf the web.” Definition: Texting / Sextingis the use of technology for harassment, impersonation, trickery, exclusion and stalking.

24. Text Decoding • LOL • Brb • OMG • WYCM? • F2F • ROFL

25. Text Decoding • LOL – Laugh Out Loud • Brb – Be Right Back • OMG – Oh My Gosh • WYCM? - Will you call me? • F2F – Face to Face • ROFL – Rolling on the Floor Laughing

26. Text Decoding • LOL – Laugh Out Loud • Brb – Be Right Back • OMG – Oh My Gosh • WYCM? - Will you call me? • F2F – Face to Face • ROFL – Rolling on the Floor Laughing PA / PAL / POS / P911 NIFOC LMIRL AITR WRN 53x WTGP 420 143 KPC

27. Text Decoding • LOL – Laugh Out Loud • Brb – Be Right Back • OMG – Oh My Gosh • WYCM? - Will you call me? • F2F – Face to Face • ROFL – Rolling on the Floor Laughing • PA / PAL / POS / P911 • Parent Alert Parents are Listening, Parents over Shoulder, Parent alert • NIFOC- Naked in Front of Computer • LMIRL - Let’s meet in real life • AITR – Adult In The Room • WRN – What’s your real name • 53x- Sex • WTGP – Want to go private? • 420 – Marijuana • 143 – I Love You • KPC – Keep Parents Clueless

28. Example - Sexting • A Young girl (under 18 years old) is asked to send a photo of herself, either nude or partially-nude to a potential boyfriend.She takes the photos and sends them to him. He receives them and keeps them on his phone or computer. He also promises not to show the photos to anyone else. After all that’s the only reason she made the photos and sent them to him. The two date for awhile and then one of them decides to break-up. The now former-boyfriend out of spite or showing-off, sends the photos onto his friends, her friends and/or her family.

29. Example - Sexting • The police are called when someone makes a complaint. Often times the young girl, a school official or parent file a complaint because the harassment will not stop and the pictures are circulating to people she never thought would see them. Now this is a Police Investigation… • A Young girl (under 18 years old) is asked to send a photo of herself, either nude or partially-nude to a potential boyfriend. (Solicitation) She takes the photos and sends them to him. (Creation and Distribution) He receives them and keeps them on his phone or computer. (Possession) He also promises not to show the photos to anyone else. After all that’s the only reason she made the photos and sent them to him. The two date for awhile and then one of them decides to break-up. The now former-boyfriend out of spite or showing-off, sends the photos onto his friends, her friends and/or her family. (Distribution) Up to 20 Year Prison, Felony and SOR - Solicitation of Sexually Explicit Material 20 Year Prison, Felony and SOR- Creation of Sexually Explicit Material 7 Year Prison and SOR-Distributionof Sexually Explicit Material 4 Year Prison and SOR - Possession of Sexually Explicit Material SOR = Sex Offender Registry

30. Take Away Texting / Sexting Build Awareness of the Risk with your Youth and Parents Recognize change in behavior Today’s child pornography laws were meant to prosecute sexual predators, not teens doing something stupid.

31. Identity Theft “Forty percent of victims don’t realize someone has stolen their identity until six months after the initial theft.” Definition: Identity theft is a form of fraud of cheating of another person’s identity in which someone pretends to be someone else by assuming that person’s identity. • Identity Stolen via Dumpster Diving • Identity Stolen via Phishing • Identity Stolen via Stealing

32. Identity Theft Safety Make sure all computers are up to date with the latest software. e.g. virius, spy bot How well is your congregation data protected? Consider installing a disk encryption on systems that hold personal information. Never give personal information via e-mail. Understanding that Phishing are getting creative each and everyday to try and capture your personal information. Review your credit report on a yearly basis.

33. Overwhelm!?! • Remind people “Why” • Baptismal, Scripture and Trying to Make everyone Safe • Establish a local child protection policy, review frequently. • Create Awareness of the Risk & Rewards of using technology. Used wrong it will Damage Your Future! • University Admission Officers, Recruiters, In-Laws, Potential Employers • Watch how much personal information you posted on-line. • Continuously monitor the changes being made privacy settings with Social Networking. • GPS Location / Context-Aware – Phone Applications have in the fine print that your agreeing to have your location shared when you access the application WiFi Coverage.

34. Thank You jpoiner@comcast.net Mobile 248-444-0187

35. Appendix

36. Acknowledgements Paul O’Briant – CyberSaftey for Families Child Protection Committee, Flint UMC District Office Ministries with Youth, Dunwoody UMC “What do these numbers Mean?” Jessica R Cooper Oakland County Prosecutor

37. Ten Things Parents Can Do • Talk with your children about their online activities and the risks and ethical responsibilities of surfing the Web. Tell them you have a responsibility to monitor their Internet use and that you will. • Keep the computer in a common room in your home and set time limits for its use. • Make sure your child knows never to divulge personal information as they surf the Internet. • Set rules as to what sites your children are allowed to visit and which ones they are not. • Tell your children to let you know immediately if a stranger tries to make contact with them on the Web. • Install an operating system that makes you the administrator of the family computer, enabling you to control Web browser settings, content that can be viewed online, and software that can be installed. Consider installing third-party filtering software (CYBERPatrol, CYBERSitter).

38. Ten Things Parents Can Do • Insist your children give you their e-mail and chat room passwords. Prohibit them from having multiple e-mail accounts. • Make sure your children know what online activities are against the law. Illegal activities include making threats against someone else online, hacking, downloading pirated software, creating bootlegged software, sharing music files online and (for children under 18) making purchases over the Internet. • Go online with your kids and find out who they send Instant Messages to and/or chat with. Do not allow your children to send Instant Messages during homework-related computer time. • Regularly scan the files on your family computer to see what kind of material your children have downloaded and whether it was obtained legally.

39. “Just Talking” is different with Youth today… • Chat rooms • Message boards • Webcam • Videogames Cell phones Texting E-mail Instant Messaging (IM) Skype (Internet visual telephone) 44