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Chapter 8

Chapter 8 . Communication & Relational Dynamics. Relationships. Relationship-the mode in which 2 or more things stand to one another Factors that influence our choice of relational partners Appearance Similarity Complementary Reciprocal attraction Competence Disclosure Proximity

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Chapter 8

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  1. Chapter 8 Communication & Relational Dynamics

  2. Relationships • Relationship-the mode in which 2 or more things stand to one another • Factors that influence our choice of relational partners • Appearance • Similarity • Complementary • Reciprocal attraction • Competence • Disclosure • Proximity • Rewards

  3. Developmental Models • 3 parts- coming together, coming apart, relational maintenance • 10 stages • Initiating • Experimenting • Intensifying • Integrating • Bonding • ----------------------------------------- Shifts • Differentiating • Circumscribing • Stagnating • Avoiding • Terminating

  4. Dialectical Perspectives • Dialectical tensions-conflicts that arise when 2 opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously. • connection v. autonomy • openness v privacy • predictability v. novelty • Managing dialectical tensions • Denial • Disorientation • Alteration • Segmentation • Balance • Integration • Recalibration • Reaffirmation

  5. Characteristics of Relationships • Relationships are constantly changing • Richard Conville’s description of the constantly changing nature of relationships • Relationships are affected by culture-western notion of romance and marriage v. arranged marriages: level of self-disclosure • Relationships require maintenance- comm. Accounts for as much as 80% of the difference between satisfying and unsatisfying relationships • 5 strategies couples use to keep interactions satisfying • Positivity • Openness • Assurance • Social networks • Sharing tasks

  6. Damaged Relationships • Repairing damaged relationships-problems arise from outside a relationship, differences within relationships, and relational transgressions • Types of relational transgressions • Minor v significant • Deliberate v. unintentional • Social v. relational • One time v. incremental

  7. Damaged Relationships Con’d • Strategies for relational repair • First step-talk about the violation • 3 elements for the best chance of repairing the damage • An explicit acknowledgement that the transgression was wrong • A sincere apology • Some type of compensation • What is the only way an apology can be convincing? • Forgiving transgressions • Personal and relational benefits • 2 least forgivable offensive in a dating relationship?

  8. Communicating & Relationships • Content messages-most obvious component of a message • Relational messages-how the parties feel toward one another • 4 types • Affinity • Immediacy • Respect • Control • Metacommunication-communication about commuinication • Important method for solving conflicts in a constructive manner

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