SSR but first…announcement

SSR but first…announcement College Prep 4-16-13

Announcement • Issues with iMovie and possible fixes • So, today, we have to do something else my people • We ARE NOT going to let this go…mostly because I got super excited to see your ads

SSR • YAY SSR…

tiempo de salirbillete • Ustednecesitará un pedazo de papel

Painting with Action Verbs • Verbs: action words…words that indicate movement • By eliminating PASSIVE VOICE and reducing “to be” verbs, writers can energize action images. • Verbs of passive voice communicate no action. • Typically, passive voice verbs require the help of a “to be” verb.

First…what are “to be” verbs • “To be” verbs: • is • am • are • was • were • be • being • been

What’s Wrong With This? • 1. The “to-be” verbs: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been are state of being verbs, which means that they unduly claim a degree of permanence. For example, “I am hungry.” For most Americans, hunger is only a temporary condition. • 2. The “to-be” verbs claim absolute truth and exclude other views. “Classical music is very sophisticated.” Few would agree that all classical compositions are always sophisticated.

What’s Wrong With This? • 3. The “to-be” verbs are general and lack specificity. A mother may tell her child, “Be good at school today.” The more specific “Don’t talk when the teacher talks today” would probably work better. • 4. The “to-be” verbs are vague. For example, “That school is great.” Clarify the sentence as “That school has wonderful teachers, terrific students, and supportive parents.” • 5. The “to-be” verbs often confuse the reader about the subject of the sentence. For example, “It was nice of you to visit.” Who or what is the “It?”

Passive Voice Examples • “The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old, white-whiskered rancher.” • “The grocery store was robbed by two armed men.” • Notice how the word “by” signals the noun performing the action. Passive voice can weaken images by freezing the action. • How could we fix these????? • Write them on your exit ticket.

Fixes • We swap out our “to be” verbs (“was ridden” and “was robbed”) • “The old, white-whiskered rancher rode the runaway horse into town.” • “Two armed men robbed the grocery store.”

More passive voice • Even when not used as a part of a passive voice, “to be” verbs slow the action and tend to link complements that TELL. (SHOW DON’T TELL!!!!) • We can improve our writing (“effective word choice”) when we replace as many “to be” verbs as possible. • Action verbs replace still photos with motion pictures. • “The gravel road was on the left side of the barn.” • “The gravel road curled around the left side of the barn.”

Our turn • Change our passive sentence into and active sentence using action verbs. • “The biker was in the air.” • Pic #1

Our turn • Change our passive sentence into and active sentence using action verbs. • “The car is on fire.” • Pic #2

Our turn • Change our passive sentence into and active sentence using action verbs. • “The cop was killed by the explosion.” • Pic #3

But…. • Not ALL “to be” verbs can be eliminated…if we cannot easily replace our “to be” verb, maybe it belongs in the sentence.

Now lets work on our mini-essays • Get rid of those “to be” verbs!!!!! • 1) papers with someone • 2) Search for ALL “to be” verbs • 3) Circle those bad boys • 4) Give the paper back (don’t change them) • 5) Change those “to be” verbs unless it doesn’t violate any of our rules • I wanna hear what you came up with • So…please share your old sentence THEN your new sentence

Hooks??? • Lets try to write our intros now • Remember what you did for your commercial • Try to write a tag line for your paper • RAFT your paper, but focus on your hook • On a separate sheet of paper that you will attach to your mini-essay • Stay away from the conclusion

DEBATE • Has technology outpaced morality? • Gunpowder • Atomic Power • The internet • Encryption

SSR but first…announcement