The Toga Detective II

1. The Toga Detective II Q. Lucretius Vespillo is back! The Interactive Game Begin 

2. Salve! • Phew, you survived your encounter with the Blue Horses and managed to stay alive after accepting one of Caligula’s deadly ‘presents’. You’ve gone back home now, living a quiet life on your own (save for the slaves of course). Some days you wonder whether you should find a wife, but remembering your previous attempts, you’re unlikely to attract any more girls. • Today, however, you feel confident. Unusually confident. You feel like you could take on the world and, more importantly, seduce a woman. It’s finally time for Q. Lucretius Vespillo to get married. • But first thing’s first, where are you going to look? • I’ll stay in Gaul To Rome! Pompeii  • How about Alexandria? Definitely Athens 

3. Hometown Women • Straightening out your dishevelled toga, you go outside and sit casually in the forum. You feel very young and handsome (you’ve actually put on a little makeup). You hope that someone will find you attractive. • Sure enough, you see a pretty young girl. There’s a bit of an age difference, but you can’t resist her. You fix yourself for the fiftieth time and swagger up to her. • “Vespillo! Salve! How are you today?” Oh, perfect, she knows you. That makes flirting so much harder. • You reply quickly, trying to inject some seductiveness in your voice. It doesn’t work. The girl looks at you like you’re drunk and struts off into the distance. Your attempt has failed! Where should you go now? • Rome Pompeii Alexandria Athens 

4. Pompeii • Since you’ve never been here before, finding a girl to fall in love with won’t be too hard. Even on your arrival, you see plenty of beautiful girls. You stroke your growing beard, hoping to hide it and find a barber’s shop soon. • As you enter the main city, you catch a glimpse of what you think is Venus herself. She’s very, very pretty. Very pretty. You think that you can’t seduce her with a little wisp of a beard on your face, but you don’t want to lose her forever. Where do you go? • Follow her Find a barber 

5. The barber • You decide the girl can wait for now. Your beard has needed seeing to for days now. So, you walk around the streets and eventually find a barber. You go inside to find an array of long-haired (to you!), bearded men waiting for a seat in the barber’s chair. They all, at exactly the same time, face you. They look miserable. Going red, you sit at the end of the bench. • After what seems like a hundred years, you are finally sitting in the chair. The barber, who ironically has a long beard, grabs his tools and begins to shave, careful not to cut your throat with the long razor. • Suddenly, a stream of blood bursts from your now slit throat. The stupid man slipped! You scream, choking on blood. You keel over and soon die. Continue 

6. Sneaking after the girl… • You decide to follow the girl. Your beard can wait. You think that maybe she finds beards attractive anyway. Maybe she won’t notice? • She has walked even further away while you were stuck in your reverie. You run after her, ducking behind market stalls and stands, crawling under peoples’ feet. Eventually she stops and turns back, and you swear she stares right at you. You look ridiculous: crouching with your head just above a naked statue of Jupiter, your forehead sweating, your expression like something from a Greek comedy. • You quickly stand up and try to look respectable. It works! The girl– she looks more like your age now– is coming right for you. Continue 

7. Flirting • You run your hands through your hair, ruffling it up the perfect amount. The woman blushes and starts chewing on her nails– most unattractive. • You say hello to her, and begin a slightly awkward conversation. She puts a finger to your lips and you find yourself blushing too. • “I know what you’re trying to do. But the thing is, I already have a husband. Sorry!” • You hold back the tears until she leaves, and which time you become a quivering, snivelling wreck, your toga moist and covered with snot. How useless you were! You suppose you’ll have to go somewhere else. • Back home Rome Alexandria Athens 

8. Hades • You arrive in a dark, featureless place, a denarius in your hand. Hades himself comes to greet you. • “Sorry, but somewhere along the way, you managed to get yourself killed. I’m feeling pretty nice today, so before you pay your coin to get across the River Styx, I’ll let you have a choice. You can go back to the beginning of this whole crazy business, or you can come along with me to the underworld. What do you want to do?” • Go back to the beginning Go with Hades 

9. Alexandria • After taking in the traditional tourist sites, you enter the town to find some exotic Egyptian women lounging by the Nile. Suddenly too hot in your toga, you strip down to your tunic and dip your feet in the water. The women look at you disapprovingly. You dismiss it. They urge you to take your feet out. You wonder why. They suddenly start screaming in their Egyptian tongue. What do you do? • Take your feet out Ignore them and stay put 

10. Phew! • You whip your feet out of the water to see a crocodile snapping up at you. You scream and run towards the women. They stare at you with their thickly-lined eyes, smiling. You smile back like an awkward teenager. • “Hello,” one of them says in seductively-accented Latin. • After attempting to begin a conversation, you find yourself being pushed against the wall by the leader of the group. Eventually you can’t move from her grip, and the other women are clustered around you so you cannot escape. • She slips a knife out from the folds of her dress and cuts the purse off your belt. You cry out in protest, only to be stabbed twice in the stomach. They leave you to die in agony. • Continue 

11. Injuries • You cry out as a crocodile grabs your legs and rips them off from the knee down. You begin to sink into the water, unable to move, into the jaws of the beast. One of the women holds your hands and hauls you out. You black out for a very long time. • Thankfully, you do not die from your injuries and, after months in the physician’s care, you are back to normal health, save for your missing limbs. The physician tells you that you have a choice to make. He tells you what you can do. Which do you choose? • “I can fit some basic wooden legs on you so you can get back to a relatively normal lifestyle.”  • “You can go back home and live a life as an invalid.”  • “I could kill you right now to save the pain of later life.” 

12. Walking again! • Soon some wooden sticks are tied onto your stumps. It feels odd, but after more months, you can finally walk normally. You look a little weird, of course, but you can at least walk. You decide to finally get back to your search for a wife. Where do you go now? • Rome Gaul Pompeii Athens 

13. Back home • You go back home in a litter. You hire some more slaves to help you live your no-legged life, but one of them turns out to be a murderous rogue and kills you in your sleep. • Continue 

14. Not quite murder • You decide you want the physician to kill you. He sits you in a bath and opens your veins. Then he leaves you alone to die. • After a few minutes of dull pain, you realise you don’t actually want to die. You haul yourself out of the bath, wrap your wrists up with an old rag and crawl back to the physician, demanding he give you some wooden legs. He is startled, but agrees. • Continue 

15. Athens • In Athens, you’re shocked to find that you know absolutely no Greek. It can’t get you around the city, let alone find you a wife. • Then you stop and think. • “Quintus, Quintus, Quintus. Are you really going to all this trouble just to find a wife? Do you remember your past failures? This is absolutely hopeless. You’re far from home, you know no Greek and you’re all alone. Go back!” • You realise that this quest might be pointless. You’re a detective, you work best when you’re solving robberies, murders, frauds, forgeries and anything else criminal! It’s time to give up! • Yes No it’s not! 

16. Quitter • You take the long journey home and just as you reach Gaul, you are thrown from your litter and you die. • Continue 

17. Never give up! • Athens is beautiful! The women are beautiful! It’s no time to give up! • You immediately spot a H-O-T lady. You swagger up to her, hitching your tunic up raunchily short, and run your hands through your soft hair. • She seems to take the bait, as she gives you a smile and a nod. • “Want to run away with me?” she asks. “I’m going to Rome to meet up with my friend, and I think she’ll like you!” • “Yes!” “No way!” 

18. Let me stay put • The woman screams at you and puts a curse on you and all your family. You think nothing of it, and walk away. Halfway down the street, you are overcome with convulsions and nausea, your life flashing before your eyes. In a pile of your of vomit, you collapse, and remark how she was a powerful witch. Eventually you see a light and you die. • Continue 

19. It can’t hurt…? • She smiles and is glad that you’re spontaneous like her. You get into a litter and start the journey. You ask for details of the excursion. • “My friend’s the Emperor’s wife. But who would want to marry that fool? But she’s clever. She’s managed to get them to ‘divorce’, for some transparent reasons, and now she’s free to love whoever she chooses, until the divorce thing runs out. She’s arranged a party so we’re going there and we’re going to get so drunk. I mean, more wasted than Bacchus!” She lets out a squeal of happiness. • You think that maybe this wasn’t a good idea. • Continue 

20. Roman women • On your way to Rome, you spot a dishevelled girl on the floor. Easy target! You pick her up and dust her off, asking her if she’s alright. • “I’m fine, I just fell. Now, who are you?” She finally catches on to your good looks and charm. • You explain yourself with great grandeur and proudness. • “I see. Well, why don’t we go the last of the journey together?” • You get the girl to mount your horse and ride as you walk. It’s only polite, not to mention chivalrous. She’s being seduced easily! • Continue 

21. On the journey • You ask the girl what she’s doing going to Rome on her own. • “My friend Messalina is hosting a party in a couple of days and I’m going. My husband doesn’t want to go with me, so he let me walk. Thankfully I only live a few miles away, so the journey has not been to tough.” • She pauses. • “Do you want to go to the party?” she finally asks. • You agree immediately, pulled in by the idea of drink, dance and this pretty woman. • To Rome! 

22. Rome • You arrive in Rome, inhaling the fresh Roman scent. There’s never been a place more Roman, a place more filled with Roman virtues, a place more filled with Roman food and Roman wine and Roman togas and Roman baths and Roman people… • You snap out of it. Your companion takes you to an inn, where you plan to stay until the party starts. Dusk is just approaching, so you reckon it will start in an hour. • “We must get ready!” she says, bringing out a mirror glass. • Get ready 

23. Fashion choices • The girl, whose name is Helena, goes behind a screen to change. You unpack your trunk and lay out a selection of outfits in front of you. Which one do you choose? • Blue tunic, white togaRed tunic, green toga • Black tunic, blue togaYellow tunic, green toga • White tunic, white toga with pretty embroidered edging • Green tunic, black toga Blue tunic, red toga • White tunic, red toga (your favourite) • Sky-blue tunic, white togaRed tunic, yellow toga • White tunic, white togaBlack tunic, white toga

24. Ready to roll Very fetching! To the party 

25. Looking good Smokin’! To the party 

26. Bold, bright and brilliant This is super hot! To the party 

27. Brights are so in this season You are the height of fashion! To the party 

28. Beauty togafied Lovely! To the party 

29. Excelsum more! You’re ready to party! To the party 

30. Hot off the felis-ambulant Stunning! To the party 

31. Classic never goes out of style There’s nothing better than your old favourite! To the party 

32. Light up the villa! Delicate, soft and hiding the courageous tiger underneath! Roar! To the party 

33. Trendsetter Everyone will be wearing this soon! To the party 

34. Shows off your muscles Nothing beats classic Roman glam! To the party 

35. Impeccable taste Monochrome is so in! To the party 

36. It’s party time! • You arrive in your wonderful outfit, Helena at your side, dressed in a floaty blue stola and decked with jewels. The guests are dazzled by your presence and fall at your feet. Messalina comes up to greet you, and you are immediately lovestruck. You drop Helena’s hand and go towards the new woman. • “You must be Vespillo,” she says seductively. “I’ve heard so much about you. I always thought you were the Emperor’s pet, but now it seems you want to join… our cause.” • You nod, a bit confused. What cause? • “So, what do you want to do?” • Dance with Messalina Find someone to dance with  • Get a drink and a nibble Dance with Helena  • Ask about the ‘cause’ 

37. Messalina • With sensuous music playing in the background, you dance with Messalina, her hips swaying from side to side. You snake your arms around her waist and feel the sparks flying. This encounter has been successful! And it’s with someone of such high rank! • As you lean in to kiss her, a large man pulls you away. • “Oh, Silius, I didn’t realise you were here!” she says. • “Well I was, and I can’t believe you’re cheating on me!” he replies in a basic, stupid voice. • “It was him that started it!” she shrieks. • You’re done for! Silius strides towards you, a club in his hand, and beats you to death. • Continue 

38. The cause • “Claudius is a lousy Emperor.” Messalina explains. “So Silius and I have cooked up a plot to dispose of him. And of course, for Silius to become Caesar. Later tonight, we’re going to sneak into his room and go stab, and then say it was suicide. I know a guy that has a magical way of making it look like that. So are you in?” • “No way! I’m telling the Praetorian Guard!” • “Yes, I’m willing to kill Claudius!”

39. Death! • You join the crowd and make your way inside the Imperial Palace, thinking joyously of the Emperor, dead. You’ve been waiting a long time for this, and finally it’s happening! Caligula was the guy for you, and when he was killed, you were prepared to hate the new Caesar. And you did. Claudius is a terrible ruler, and you can’t wait for him to die. • Silius instructs you to go into the Emperor’s room and kill him. You are honoured and humbled at the request, so you proudly go with your sword held high. • Claudius is asleep, so you quickly slit his throat and leave. Silius and Messalina are so pleased with your work that they let you become the new Emperor! • Continue 

40. Ave Vespillo! • It is all perfect. You are Caesar, Rome is at your feet and you make some great changes to the Empire. You build hundreds of temples to Caligula and knock down every monument Claudius erected, or was of him. You order bronze statues of you to be cast, and soon thousands are made. Your image is in every city. • But there are rumours of your past life bubbling up and you can’t seem to squash them. When people find out you were an honourable detective, the honourable detective, there are riots and uprisings, which become a daily occurrence. Your Praetorian Guard are leaving you, and the only person you can trust is Messalina. She is your wife, and you had four children with her. So you confide your troubles in her, and she thinks the best solution would be to end your lives. Taking your children with you, you go into a cave and take turns stabbing each other. You are the only one left, so you slit your wrists and let yourself die. • Continue 

41. Not a part of it • You are disgusted by this foul woman, so you rush off to the nearest slave and tell them to get a Praetorian to come to you. When they arrive, you tell them of Messalina’s plan, and he quickly arrests her. But she’s much stronger than she looks, so she fights back and overcomes the soldier. When the man called Silius finds out you ratted them out, he beats you to the ground and breaks your wrists. Thankfully, you get away and alert Claudius. You become friends in minutes, and decide to pursue the would-be murderers tomorrow. • Sleep on it 

42. Helena • Even though she isn’t your true love anymore, you dance with Helena. You want her to think you still like her, because it’s obvious she likes you a lot! • “How about we go somewhere a bit more private?” she suggests. • You nod, excited by the prospect. You’ll accept any woman. • When you get to a bedroom, she takes out a knife and brandishes it in front of your face. Then she drives it deep into your heart and leaves you to die. • Continue 

43. Cibum! Vinum! • You glide over to the snack table and grab yourself a yummy dormouse. After popping the last bit of crunchy tail in your mouth, you pour a cup of wine and gulp it down in one swig. It is good. Really good. You take a few more drinks and soon you are drunker than the Festival of Bacchus. • The entire party disperses and makes their way to the Imperial Palace. You clumsily follow and find yourself in the Emperor’s private chambers, along with a few members of the party. • “We have to get into his room and… you know… get rid of him,” a large man called Silius whispers. You drunkenly nod. • “But,” he continues. “you are the only one quiet enough to sneak in, so you’ve got to do it alone.” • Stupidly, you agree. • Into the Emperor’s room 

44. Murder! • Sword in hand, you creep into Claudius’ room. The old man is asleep, and in your drunken state you think he’s really cute. You smile at him and kneel down to perform the deed. You clumsily knock a sandal off Claudius’ bedside table and it hits the floor with a thud. The Emperor bolts awake. • “Vespillo!” he splutters. “My dear detective! What are you doing in here… with a sword in your hands?” Spit flies out of his mouth and splatters all over your fresh outfit. • You stand there like a fish for a few moments, trying to think of what to say. Then you come up with a solution. • Kill Claudius immediately Explain the murder plot 

45. Bye-bye old man… • You drive the sword into his chest, but as you’re drunk, you miss his heart and instead stab his collarbone. He screams in anger, which confuses you, so you stab him many more times, until he is a bloody messy pulp. • You pass out, but drop the sword miraculously point-first into your heart. You die. • Continue 

46. Explaining • You try and tell him about Silius and Messalina and the party. He seems to understand you and goes outside his room to see where the perpetrators are. • “The filthy scoundrels have escaped!” he curses, shaking a fist. “Now it’s time to find them!” • Putting on a toga, Claudius mounts a horse and gallops away. Far down the road, you see his small figure fly off it and collapse on the ground. Making your way over there, you suggest to him that they start the search tomorrow. • Sleep on it 

47. Pursuit • A few hours before dawn, you and Claudius get up and get on your horses, ready to ride. • “Where do you think they’ve gone?” he asks. • The amphitheatre The Circus Maximus  • Out of the city The forum 

48. The forum • At the forum, you find various other members of the plot, who you execute instantly, but no Silius or Messalina. Claudius sees a cool signet ring, which he buys for his son Nero, and a glamorous necklace, which he buys for you. You’re not a great fan of jewellery, seeing as you’re not a girl, but you accept the gift all the same. • “It’s obvious they’re not here!” Claudius cries, jingling with all the new bling he’s bought. He fixes his solid gold laurel wreath circlet and mounts his horse again. • In the distance, you notice a running figure, which is slender and looks suspiciously like Helena. You gallop after her, Claudius coming closely behind. • Get her! 

49. Helena and Messalina • When you reach her, Helena is holding a massive bundle of cloth, which is quivering slightly. • “Do you know where Messalina’s gone?” Claudius asks. • “No.” • You coax her with some romantic words, and she drops the bundle. Messalina tumbles out, coughing and spluttering. • “We were on our way to Herculaneum to hide from… you!” she screams, hurtling away. You chase after her, having the advantage of horses. You catch up and arrest Messalina. Helena stands a few hundred yards away, dumbfounded. Claudius rides back and slits Helena’s throat, and you disembowel Messalina. You wanted an interesting death for her. But where is Silius? • Out of the city The Circus Maximus  • The amphitheatre 

50. The amphitheatre • You ride to the amphitheatre and search there. Today there are no fights, so you can look in peace. The cages are filled with animals, who are roaring and begging to get out. A tunnel leads you to the ludus– the gladiator school– where you find many men training. Amongst them to see a familiar face: Silius! He’s disguised as a gladiator! You run to him and arrest him, asking where Messalina went. He doesn’t tell you, so you are forced to torture him to get an answer. Eventually he cracks and says that she’s run out of the city and fled to her sister’s villa. Where is that? • “I know! That’s in Herculaneum!” Claudius explains, executing Silius nonchalantly. You rush off to the aforementioned city. • Continue 