Civil Dialog: What We All Need Now!

1. Civil Dialog: What We All Need Now! Can We Bring Back or Sustain Civil Dialog in the Workplace to Solve the Complex Problems We Face and Create a Civil Community?

2. Frame Work to Remember All of life’s conflicts are between: • Letting go or holding on • Opening into the present or clinging to the past • Expansion or contraction of possibilities

3. Just a Little Context http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17jymDn0W6U

4. Uncertainty • Have you noticed------how lacking clarity is clarity itself? • How, if you aren’t sure about something, alone has meaning? • Honor uncertainty. It is the womb from which all-knowingness comes.

5. The Blind Men and the Elephant

6. Emotional Intelligence Items • Reflective practices as a part of the inquiry process • Suspension of judgment • Taking others’ perspective • Empathy • Holding tensions between two different points of view • Practices “respective engagements” • Understands collective responsibility

7. Kohlberg’s Stages

8. Circle of Concern Circle of Influence

10. Foundational Problems • Not wanting to advance to a new stage of moral or civil development • Can the staff members focus on their influence and not get caught up in unsolvable concerns? • Can individual staff members take personal responsibility to change their uncivil or disrespectful behavior?

11. Type of JusticeWhat is the Objection? • Utilitarian: Vote – the greatest number wins • Libertarian: I need consent; my rights, my beliefs, values, and freedom to choose • Communitarian: Common good, group membership, solidarity, loyality • Aristilian: Honorific, what is deeply deserved, valued or believed in

12. Why We Need Civil Dialog • Main reason: to solve complex issues we face in daily life and long-term relationship sustainability • Good and aware citizens for our nation, community and individual actions • Productive, safe, respectful and creative work communities • To make positive “inner work-life meaning”

13. Communitarians • We all have to participate in civil dialog and respectful engagements for the common good –students, families and educational settings that are corner stones of our society • We all have to be “emotionally intelligent “ and participate in complex problem solving

14. What If Staff Don’t Want to Be Emotionally Intelligent and Respectful Engagers? • First you have to have an agreement with all stakeholders. The requirements need to be in hiring practices, job descriptions, meeting norms and staff evaluations • It needs to be clear that staff who are not willing or completely unaware, will be given a chance to change, however if no change occurs in reasonable time, needed consequences will be delivered

15. It’s Clear We Need to Work Together • In our daily work-life and solving complex issues, we need to all work together • We need to use tools, getting to YES, or polarity management to help us • Your community should not have bullying behavior, or dominating personalities that “derail” the communities’ actions

16. Getting to Yes! • Separate the People from the Problem • Focus on Interests • Invent Options • Objective Standards • Create the Action

17. Polarity Management TITLE: Action Steps How will we gain or maintain the positive result from focusing on this left pole? What? Who? By when? Measures? 1. 2 3. 4. Action Steps How will we gain or maintain the positive result from focusing on this right pole? What? Who? By when? Measures? 1. 2 3. 4. Greater Purpose Statement (GPS): Why balance this polarity? Values = positive results from focusing on the right pole • • • • • Values = positive results from focusing on the left pole • • • • • and Early Warnings Measurable Indicators (things you can count) that will let you know that you are getting into the downside of this left pole. 1. 2 3. 4. Early Warnings Measurable Indicators (things you can count) that will let you know that you are getting into the downside of this right pole. 1. 2 3. 4. • • • • • Fears = negative results from over focusing on the left pole to the neglect of the right pole • • • • • Fears = negative results from over focusing on the right pole to the neglect of the left pole Deeper Fear from lack of balance

18. Dialog – Bohme • Speak to be understood instead of pursued • All people feel the commitment/ownership to speak up • The facilitator or team member identifies the “gem” being created by the team and brings to the attention of the whole group • The whole group agrees with the “gem” in terms of total agreement, mildly agreeing or not agreeing with the “gem” but not going to sabotage it, either

19. What’s Important? • The safe transportation of students to and from school • We resolve issues using strategic tools and respective staff members • We try to create multiple positive options and not power over others with our truth • Respectful engagements is difficult, needed and should be a community norm

20. It Needs to Be US • Courageous conversations are needed between leaders and staff members and in between staff members • Without these courageous conversations, the community could live in decline, toxity and even sabotage • Finding your inner leader is critical to this task

21. Be Curious • Civil dialog is a respectful behavior for transportation communities • If individual staff is given chances and no change is seen, it will only help the community to have these individuals gone • It is important for all of us to stay reflective, respectful and ready to be the best we can be!

22. The End • We all need to take personal responsibility to be reflective, suspend judgments and create the best options for our transportation communities • There are effective tools, ideas, concepts and strategies in this work • Make the shop, your community a civil place for great accomplishments Thanks!